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Original poster

My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

477 replies

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 14/02/2025 16:49

Sidebeforeself · 14/02/2025 16:20

I may be wrong but I’m prettty sure pre-nups are not necessarily enforceable in UK ( or England at least). So theres that.

But honestly? Let it go…

Yes see a solicitor and work out what you are entitled to. Block him and move on with your life.

Pigwodgeon · 14/02/2025 16:49

@Emilia90 not unfortunately, but FORTUNATELY you didn't adopt a child with him.
He will cheat on this new gf as well. 100%. When the baby comes, and the attention is not on him anymore, he will become 'unhappy' again, and go off with someone else. You've got away relatively lightly.

Now, go work on yourself and learn to be a better judge of character going forward. He is the common nominator here. He creates the mess all you exes and currents partners find yourselves in.

Waterweight · 14/02/2025 16:50

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:34

I have every reason to be angry! He’s acting as if he never loved me and now I’ve been blocked and the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media” and the divorce papers will be soon be with you. We did a prenup so I won’t get anything so he’s basically fucked me over. And now he’s parading her around like a bloody trophy just because she’s pregnant

Unfortunately he probably didn't love you like you did him, you were just the leaping pad for him to end an unhappy marriage & build the confidence needed to branch out/know he can still pull

There's another saying ladies here arnt mentioning & that's along the lines of "some people are made for us even if we don't spend forever with them" & you were that person for him - a temporary light in his ongoing life

Unfortunately he didn't fulfill your dreams & plans which you deserved but at least he was honest with you about leaving as he was his first wife

lnks · 14/02/2025 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I agree. Threads like this generally are. There's been a spate of outlandish threads the last few day which all end up being delete by MN.

PrincessScarlett · 14/02/2025 16:51

OP please go and see a solicitor. He's done a real number on you getting you to sign a pre nup and the house being in his name.

didgeriaye · 14/02/2025 16:55

You split up in May 2024, he introduced her to his parents in August 2024, and they announced a pregnancy in January 2025?

I can totally see why you think he probably cheated, given how your relationship with him started. But the fact that your relationship began like that means you absolutely do not have any right to call his new girlfriend a "tart" or accuse her of stealing your life - if he was cheating, you know she was lied to, just like he lied to you.
There's also the (unlikely) possibility that he met her after you split, the relationship moved fast, and you'd be contacting her to call her names for absolutely no reason other than jealousy.

Even if he did cheat, she doesn't deserve your anger. Follow his ex-wife's example from when you were the "new tart of a girlfriend" in her life.

SoScarletItWas · 14/02/2025 16:55

So the house is his (since before you - what, did he kick First Wife out?) and under a pre-nup, but he’s gladly let you live in it since he moved out wanting a divorce last May?

No, I think that’s where you over-egged it. You’re on the wind up.

tempname1234 · 14/02/2025 16:57

And you’re surprised? He showed you who he was when you first met him. He is just continuing to be himself.

he will likely do the same thing to this woman too because he now has the vacancy for a piece on the side.

his parents are accepting if this behaviour do it is likely to be indicative of his upbringing.

sorry but not sorry

2025willbemytime · 14/02/2025 16:58

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:34

I have every reason to be angry! He’s acting as if he never loved me and now I’ve been blocked and the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media” and the divorce papers will be soon be with you. We did a prenup so I won’t get anything so he’s basically fucked me over. And now he’s parading her around like a bloody trophy just because she’s pregnant

Why don't you take some control,and file for divorce yourself! You can do it online now, £600, and take the wind out of his sails. Tick the financial order box and ignore the pre nuptial for now.

BellesAndGraces · 14/02/2025 16:58

Karma is a bitch and a scorned woman and she has come for you. You “stole” your DH from another woman so at least have the good grace to take it on the chin now another a woman has “stolen” him from you.

crosstalk · 14/02/2025 17:00

Both he and his parents have behaved in an underhand and nasty way. It will take time, but you will get over it.

Meanwhile, get thee to a solicitor with a copy of the pre-nup. Pre-nups cannot break the laws of the country.

perfectcolourfound · 14/02/2025 17:00

I don't understand why you're so angry with his new gf. She is just you, but a few years later. She's doing to you what you did to his ex wife.

I'm not taking any joy from that (nor am I of the view 'if they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you - it's just an easy catchphrase), however - surely you can see your anger at the new gf is misplaced?

Do you think you were a 'tart' when you decided to stay with a married man? Do you think you were to blame for him leaving is wife?

If yes, then yes be angry with her, but equally with yourself.

And I'd argue he's the one who's chosen her. He's the one braking is promises and commitments.

BodyKeepingScore · 14/02/2025 17:02

No. Your biggest mistake was continuing a relationship with a married man. You reap what you sow here I'm afraid.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 14/02/2025 17:02

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 16:17

I was on the pill for good 10yrs and 6 months before we got married I decided to come off it. I found out a later into our marriage that I couldn’t have kids and we both agreed we’d adopt, unfortunately we didn’t get far into the adoption process and I think he delayed it because at first he wasn’t keen on the idea but told me he’d do whatever to make me “happy” looking back at everything now I think he was just telling me what I wanted to hear and I was too focused on wanting a child and filling in all the forms of adopting that I didn’t notice his behavior change until he started acting weird. The morning of May 2024 before he told me he wanted a divorce he left for work at 7am and didn’t message me or phone me throughout the day. I just assumed he was busy with work and he got home before me and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. He was packing his bags as I was trying to plead with him but he didn’t care. That was the last day I saw him and I’ve been blocked since until a end of June when he came home and packed the rest of his things and told me that he’d put the house up for sale. The house isn’t mine and he bought it way before we got married as far as I’m concerned the house is in his dads name but I think he changed the deeds because he was planning this!! And out of no where he has a new girlfriend?

Can you not see what has happened here? You put his first wife in the same position you are now in, thoughtlessly and without empathy and now the same thing has happened to you, it's all the next woman's fault, not his? (Or yours?) Slightly lacking on the self-awareness front there, aren't you?

thinktwice36 · 14/02/2025 17:02

What did you say when wife #1 got in touch to give you - the ‘tart who stole her life’ - a piece of her mind 😂

crankytoes · 14/02/2025 17:03

She did exactly what you did so why are you possibly angry with her?

crankytoes · 14/02/2025 17:03

@Emilia90

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.
You mean like you did to wife 1. Do you not see the irony?

BodyKeepingScore · 14/02/2025 17:03

So how is this new woman a tart , but you somehow aren't? I actually can't believe that this is a genuine post... can you hear yourself?!

Orangesinthebag · 14/02/2025 17:05

Don't feel too jealous of this new woman.
She has got together with a known cheat who is now about to go through his second divorce. She has hardly won the jackpot here!

Your next move should definitely be to see a solicitor & make sure you get everything you are entitled to. He might have tried to sign things over to his dad etc but a good solicitor will see through any shady deals.

Then move on with your head held high & live your life well. That, and only that, is the best form of revenge.

crankytoes · 14/02/2025 17:06

@Emilia90

Yes! She did contact me, but after they were divorced. She said he’s wanted kids so I hope you can give that to him. Wasn’t a heated exchange at all
So why can't you be a gracious as wife 1 was?

thepariscrimefiles · 14/02/2025 17:07

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Surely you did the same to his first wife?

Orangesinthebag · 14/02/2025 17:08

thepariscrimefiles · 14/02/2025 17:07

Surely you did the same to his first wife?

Show quote history

This point has been made over & over.
I think the OP has probably left the thread now.

Andwhoisasking · 14/02/2025 17:10

Some really awful people on here. So much spite and hate towards a woman who has been left because she can’t have children. Maybe being so hideously toxic is why you some of you were dumped.

Op it’s horrible but he was always going to do this and he will do it to her as well, you need to move on,

DemeraraAbyss · 14/02/2025 17:10

Did you get independent legal advice (so from a lawyer from a different firm to the one who drew up the prenup for him, and without him being present) before signing the prenup? If not it is likely to be unenforceable. Definitely speak to a lawyer.

Ankhmo · 14/02/2025 17:11

I have little sympathy for you OP.

You are now feeling what his first wife felt and she likely felt about you how you feel about the new partner.

you should be thinking about any children involved in this mess, not yourself