Dating apps so grim!

[Nelly10]

I’ve started the year with a good mindset I went back on bumble a month ago to see what if any guys looked ok.

My age range is late thirties to early 50s it’s so grim.

I would say the majority are not looking after themselves.

Lots of filtered pictures (even though they put in the bio not into filtered pictures)

Profile pics with a fish
Terrible quality pictures (really close up/sunglasses on)
really bad poses (just have normal pictures?)

The bio’s are horrific
Don't want any drama
You can buy the drinks if you don’t look like your pics (until you do!) I’ve read this 100s of times
I don’t want anyone vanilla! We all know what that means don’t we!

Honestly I know some really decent men in my family and friends but from what I can see literally none on these apps.

Im trying to broaden my interests outside but wow this positive mindset is hard to keep in the dating world!

surely these men aren’t getting anywhere with anyone?

How old are you op? Thats a very big age range you have there. Would you consider a younger man?
I would not pass the time of day with anyone who wrote that on a dating site. If anyone messaged me with a bio like that I would not respond at all, just ignore them.
Maybe they think they are being humorous, who knows? It wouldn’t be for me.
I also find the fish thing puzzling.

I have to say though, there are some very scruffy, unattractive men out there. In general women make much more of an effort with their appearance.

Profile pics with a fish

Why do men think that pics of them with a fish is any way alluring 😄.

I would guess that I am older than you OP and I’ve given up even going there now but it sounds like in the 10 years i’ve been away from OLD nothing has changed at all!

There's a reason these men are single. However, there will be regular nice men too. Imagine sifting through a haystack and there are a few gold nuggets. Expect a lot of sifting, but it can work (OLD worked for me about 7 years ago and I can laugh about the experiences along the way to meeting my partner).

I wonder if there is an intersecting Venn diagram of 'men who think pics of them with a fish is appealing' and 'men who think pictures of their dick is appealing'? Anyone willing to do the research?

It's strange how many of them say No drama or if you're a psycho swipe left.
If you ask them why they don't have a bio they say they have no time to fill it in. Yeah right.
It's like rummaging through a reduced box full of crap in the sales

In the end I found this quite helpful.

it was easier to swipe quickly past those who had made shit all effort to come across as pleasant, interesting human beings

I liked Hinge best

I know I was trying to see if I could find that one nugget ha but to no avail!

Honestly just a semi normal decent bloke would do I was thinking that’s not much to ask. I’m 44 younger men have matched but all usually want kids I’ve got two and way past all that. I’m very happy otherwise would just be nice to have some dates etc.

Definitely agree I think women look after themselves a lot more it’s like half of them have given up.

Is it mainly the older men who write this crap and hold the fish?
I wouldn’t match with anyone who wanted children either. I am surprised at that though as most men don’t make great parents.
It is a numbers game.
At least it gives you a laugh.

I’m not in to fishing though I did go as a child. I guess if it’s a serious hobby best to admit to it. I don’t get the hate for fish pics. Other stuff I do see an issue with.

I met my DH on a dating app. . I had some dates with dodgy men-one of whom turned out to be on license for a life sentence for abusing previous partners & subsequently was involved in the mysterious death of a partner. But (thank God) I dumped him when he suggested (on 3rd date before we slept together) that he paid to have my boobs enhanced. I am so relieved that I trusted my instincts & didn't sleep with him.

I also met several people who were looking for a 'Nurse With a Purse' (eg: a mature woman with a pension who is willing to care for them when they become infirm).

My DH is the most lovely caring, romantic person ever. We've been together for about 4 years married for 2. I love him & he loves me. But he lived very locally to me & I was able to check him out with friends who knew of him.

Sorry to say but these are the leftover men who nobody wants, there is something wrong with them or men who are divorced for good reason. The majority of decent, good looking, successful men will be married/partnered up within this age range. My single friends in their 30's have mostly given up using dating apps for this reason, they have shown me their hinge/bumble accounts and it is utterly bleak.

Yeah it’s grim I had one guy messaging me last year very odd never met him but he turned up in the local news as a stalker!

it’s pretty scary out there it would obviously be easier for someone to know them and background.

I know younger women who want to settle down and have children and they are even struggling.

I’m glad I have my kids however dealing with the ex H is just as bad as the apps!

But it's not just this age range. My DDs friend is newly single and I'm getting to hear all about her voyages in the world of online dating - and it's just as OP reports, only DDs friend is 27 and looking for men the same age...

@Lobster3three7 who?

Are you a man by any chance?

I am the same age and I wouldn’t bother with OLD again. I didn’t meet any hot 30 year olds and primarily attracted 50+ year old crowd that I found unappealing. You will have to find a way to meet someone IRL if you actually want a date.

You do realise that the women are just as bad right?

pics with no smile
pouting
cleavage out
bio - just ask!
lying about age
all selfie pics
pics in groups of 6 or more

I could go on and on.

And it’s unfair to say the men are the ‘leftover ‘ men - what does that make the women?

There’s plenty of nice, respectful, good looking and successful men out there, just like there are women, but with OLD so rife nowadays, you just need a much bigger net to catch the decent fish.

and no, I don’t have a pic with a fish on my profile!!

You do realise that the women are just as bad right?

This is the problem. They're just not. That's the reality. If you're an 8/10 woman your 'match' is probably a 5/10 man.

If you make up a fake profile in the name of research, the women's profiles are objectively much much better than the men's. Have a look if you don't believe me.

I have to say I think women, generally, are better looking than men. I don’t meant to be awful but what happened to slim, toned, fit men with great hair, nice eyes and a nice smile? The men who don’t slob around in dirty tracksuits and trainers. Men who wear a shirt and jeans or trousers.
I know women wear joggers and tracksuits too, but at least they are clean!
I see young men and think what a dirty slob.
Yes I am judging.

Wow.

80% of the women on OLD are NOT toned and fit.

80% of the women DON’T smile.

personally I think it’s quite an even match.

however, I am very tempted to set up a fake profile now! If the men are as bad as everyone says they are, then for me, that’s great.

I must clarify, I am not on any dating sites, I’m speaking from what I notice day to day. So when I see couples together it usually appears that the women are cleaner and take more pride in their appearance. I cannot speak for dating sites, just what I see around me.
I do trust what the op is saying about the quality of males on these sites though. Maybe women write just as much dross, I don’t know. I do stick by my post in that on the whole women look better than men, and looking back say to the 1980s men have done downhill.

Yes I am a guy

Are you on this thread looking for a dogging partner?

.......my extremely outgoing sometimes even out in the open sexually outgoing personality