Dating apps so grim!

[Nelly10]

I’ve started the year with a good mindset I went back on bumble a month ago to see what if any guys looked ok.

My age range is late thirties to early 50s it’s so grim.

I would say the majority are not looking after themselves.

Lots of filtered pictures (even though they put in the bio not into filtered pictures)

Profile pics with a fish
Terrible quality pictures (really close up/sunglasses on)
really bad poses (just have normal pictures?)

The bio’s are horrific
Don't want any drama
You can buy the drinks if you don’t look like your pics (until you do!) I’ve read this 100s of times
I don’t want anyone vanilla! We all know what that means don’t we!

Honestly I know some really decent men in my family and friends but from what I can see literally none on these apps.

Im trying to broaden my interests outside but wow this positive mindset is hard to keep in the dating world!

surely these men aren’t getting anywhere with anyone?

Yes it is grim. I joined in July thinking I'd date. It was such an experience. However been seeing someone for two months and he makes me happy and is great. It takes a while but they're out there

Oh god, same….

I’ve only just gone on bumble and I’d say 95% look like psychopaths. What’s with the out of focus, close up selfies?

@OneTealMentor No I’m a woman, if anyone has a time consuming hobby, whatever it is which fishing is far better to know about it from the off. Just like if I had a profile I would mention hiking. It’s a full day hobby, I go on walking holidays sometimes.

Yep it seems every bloke on Hinge spends his Sunday going for a long walk followed by a pub roast. That’s when they’re not hiking, kayaking, paddle boarding, cycling etc etc etc

Not sure where they find the time to date tbh

I just don't buy it, I reckon most of them sit in front of the TV and go to their mums for a Roast.

My friend just sent me a screenshot of a bloke who messaged her on a dating app saying ‘please tell me your not mental’

He really thinks that’s a good approach 🤦‍♀️

Yeah the beards annoy me. Fair enough if the few that suit them kept them clean, trim and groomed. But they don't.

I know some people love beards but...if you knew how dirty they can be you probably wouldn't want them on most guys.

Imo if they haven't even bothered to put in a shirt and shave for their dating profile, they're probably scaffy af.

The fun you could have with the replies though xD

'My therapist says I'm making real progress. I only bark at the neighbours cat on Tuesdays now'.

If he used the wrong form of 'your', then he's out anyway, surely?

Haha I'm in same boat as you but I joined Hinge. Met someone from there. His pictures were at least 7-8 years old, he said he didn't smoke as I hate smokers and guess what? Yep he smoked. Took me to his flat to get a change of clothes. Basically a bedsit, same size as a cupboard. Where shall I join now?

Oh yes. I’d be tempted to reply ‘you’re’

Ive had messages where I’ve had to go back and say ‘I’m really sorry but I’ve got no idea what that means’ because their use of words and spelling is so mangled

Another one ‘I love cuddles’ yuck no thanks 😂

Yep - or snuggling on the sofa

And another immediate swipe left ‘big spoon seeks little spoon’

The vanilla man has come back and says everyone deserves fun… now even I know what fun means haha!

do you just stop replying to men like this or reply something like I’ve enjoyed chatting, but I don’t think we’d be the right match. Wishing you all the best!?

Just block them, don't waste a second longer on them

I think you're sort of right, but what's wrong with just putting 'my hobby is fishing' in the bio? There's no need to put a picture of yourself with a fish - we all know what fishing is. I mean if you like reading you wouldn't put up a picture of yourself looking at a book, would you?

Agree re open minded and the burned haystack group.

Will also add mention of ‘love languages’ on the bio as things to avoid, because it’s always always physical touch. Which means sex…Also sex positive is another one which seems to have been co-opted by men on dating apps.

I just unmatch them - they aren’t worth the bother of any explanation.

It's not any better from the other sides perspective tbh.

I'm late 30s and back in the dating pool for the first time in 14 years. I've no kids or drama with my ex, may not be Henry Cavill but look after myself, have a good job, my own hobbies and interests, have never sent a dick pic and I'm clear that I'm looking for a long-term partner. Trying to get anyone to commit to a date is a nightmare. 95% of the women I've matched with seem to either want to be penpals or just to chat for a night and then disappear into the ether.

Suppose my chat might just be really, really shit mind you.

They’re all obsessed with roast dinners on there it’s on literally every profile 🤣

I can assure you 100% walks and pub roasts are on EVERYONES profiles. Hinge seems to be the worst but every other women days that’s her perfect Sunday….

I’ve said it before the majority of men don’t appear to make enough effort.
When they are told this they take offence and say the same about women but my own eyes tell me differently.
I can tell you now once the warmer weather comes we will be seeing a huge number of men in those awful baggy, creased up combat style shorts. The ones with far too many pockets, always in either navy, olive green or shit coloured brown. They team this with some random slogan t shirt and dirty trainers. Have hardly any hair and are overweight. Yet these same men expect women to make an effort with their appearance. They would be horrified if women looked the same.
Then we get the same men moaning that they prefer ‘natural’ looking women. Really? Natural as in thinning grey hair, zero make up and wearing unironed baggy shorts, dirty trainers and a random slogan t shirt? I don’t think so.

I'm not disagreeing with any of that. I just don't understand why women use these sites if the men are so awful.

As someone who dates both men and women, I can categorically tell you that women are nowhere near as bad as men on dating apps - not by a million miles!

I only date vegan men and women (I'm a woman), so while it may put some women off, it's a plus point for others!