My boyfriend said my vagina scares him ??

[Meeemeee88]

I feel really upset over this and it’s stupid I know . But basically I’ve had three babies ( including one with said partner ) I’ve suffered from terrible self confidence issues regarding my lady part ( have a slight prolapse and obviously it’s changed a lot since births etc like no matter how much I do pelvic floors it makes no difference) so I feel like it’s horrible and there’s not much I can do about it , HE KNOWS all this . Anyway while I was in hospital last week my partner out of nowhere just said “ my vagina scares him !??” What the hell does that mean ? He wouldn’t elaborate just said it’s MEATY !?? Wtf . I’m now really annoyed to the point I don’t even want him to touch me now . AIBU ???

Is it too personal did he mean your lips/labia or your vulva. Either way he’s rude and awful but it’s just a weird comment to make and I’d want him to explain himself. A man made similar comments to me and I had a labiaplasty and it’s one of my big regrets in life letting a nasty idiot make me change my body

The comments are both incredibly offensive and incredibly misogynistic. If any man said them to me he'd be out of the door before he had a chance to say anything else.

OMG this is so horrible. I had a vey traumatic birth, 4th degree tear, incontinence, prolapses, the lot. My partner - otherwise useless, insensitive and immature - never said anything about my lady bits and always maintained they are fine (they are not by a mile). I have no idea what type of fuckwit you need to be to say this to the mother of your child (((

Dump him. He is an arsehole. Don't ask 'why, what do you mean', just dump the wanker.
Obviously you know what it means - one of the reasons rich women have elective C-sections, vaginal delivery messes things up down there, and if you had 3 vaginal deliveries, it exacerbates things.
Dump the wanker, seriously.

My instant reaction too, strengthened by his 'gone off sex' routine

You know what, i've been thinking recently that my generous labia minora that hang outside of the majora (never had children, i've always had them) are actually a benefit to sex, as surely they provide extra stimulation as it's more to be in contact with the part of the shaft thats not inside.
It might not be as pleasant in some peoples opinion to look at as a neat, tucked away minora, but she has her benefits.

So tell him that if it scares him so much, not to worry because it’s now slammed firmly shut permanently to him. Then dump him. He’s an arsehole - of the larger variety than your lady part will ever be !!

Did he ‘go off sex’ before or after making the comment?

I had an Ex say something awful (a couple of times) about my vagina years ago - turned out he’d only said it because he guessed how much it would hurt me because it was something I was worried about.

I wonder if your OH is starting to back out of the relationship & is making it ‘your fault’ because ‘your vagina scares him’?

Either way, you deserve better than him xx

He would go absolutely nuts if he knew I was posting my personal life on here

HE would go nuts if he knew YOU were posting about YOUR personal life? Please, run. He sounds like an absolute horror.

He’s casually rude and hurtful to OP and making her doubt herself. He’s also a misogynist. I’d say that was enough to warrant LTB before he passes on his attitude to his child.

the only defence is he meant he’s scared of hurting you as it seems tender.

I don’t know if I could be attracted to someone like this that is is clueless and insensitive.

I also think whatever he’s attracted to is teenage boy, AI stuff and I’d see him as less of a man for wanting some anime porn fantasy.

I've been told by men I've slept with that they love the feel of it " gripping" them. I don't think either or is a bad thing.

I don't need my vulva to look neat and tucked away. She's out and she's proud. lol

Agree that there seems like there’s more going on. Men usually say these things when they’re checking out

How will she ever feel safe being naked around him again? How do you come back from this in a romantic relationship?

I personally wouldn't be able to.

His dad has cancer for a start!

He won't be thinking straight, and fella's talk before engaging brains!

Will you genuinely ever feel comfortable having sex with him again? If not, are you happy with a sexless relationship? If not, it's time to LTB.

@dawngreen that is NOT an excuse!! People need to stop making excuses up for these animals. Just because his Dad has cancer that doesn’t give him a get out of jail free card. He’s an arsehole.

Both of my parents died of cancer when I was much younger than OP's BF. Neither that, nor being a man, excuses saying something like that

Fair enough. I'd like to think that if I'm going to make a baby with someone and call them my partner, I'd be able to talk through it etc before breaking up a family. I guess if a stupid comment about your vagina would be enough to see your kid grow up in a split family that's on you.

Dump this infant right now.

Sorry, but your vagina has birthed 3 kids! Of course it's not going to look like the vag of a 20yo "adult performer".
Mine would have clamped shut so hard, you'd had heard the flaps rattle.

You should dump him immediately and find someone kinder he because he sounds like an immature moron - and in the process tell him his balls are weird and he's never made you orgasm. 💅

Well isn't he a chump? I know someone whose husband told her "your fanny smells like fish" and she's never fancied him since. I imagine you feel the same about this guy. He's so immature.

I would without a doubt dump him for that weird, disrespectful and hurtful comment. What a child he is! Get rid OP. You deserve much better

JC OP, what an absolute Prince amongst Men. Your vagina is absolutely amazing I’m sure, it brought forth life ffs. You can’t get anymore amazing than that.
Set him free so he can experience all those other vaginas he thinks he’s going to get. What a twat.