Dating thread 52 - 2025. Springing into Spring

[oldernotwiserffs]

The Rules:
• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

If you feel ok it's ok

Aww Thanks - I think I’ve got in my own head about it a bit!

Thank you, yes that’s a good mantra!

Bit of an odd one. I'm seeing Christian singles events listed, I'm not remotely religious myself, but wondered how they differed? Are the people who attend "no sex before marriage" etc?

Thats partly it, yes. Im Catholic and would really like someone with this faith too because then somethings are easier to explain. I've been going to mass regularly for 20 years plus and my faith was very important when my mum died.

It's not just sex, although that's important, its having someone who can understand, and its probably why im single today.

I'd be interested in link to this Christian dating.

Congrats!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

@Thatsthebottomline Try TrueDating for Christian Speed Dating. Depends if you are London based or commutable though.

Just generally curious if you get a different quality of men at these events.

Lovely news, so pleased for you

How long have you been together?

Thanks everyone 🥰

@NervesOfCottonwe met mid December 2024 so not long - this is a complete surprise as I thought I couldn’t get pregnant! It’s still very early days though and anything could happen but I’m hoping beyond hope that it all works out. Bf is still getting his head around it but wants the baby and is being so supportive with all my anxiety around it

Aww how lovely. Real fairytale stuff!
I've got everything crossed for you that it all works out perfectly.xxx

@NervesOfCottonthank you so much - I still can’t quite believe it! Never knew pregnancy could be so anxiety provoking 😅

Will this be your first baby?

Oh I've been there. I was desperate to become pregnant & then I was just a huge mass of anxiety throughout the whole thing (hopefully you won't be!)

We are here if you need us. It's not about dating, no, but 'Just because'

@Nosdacariadyes first baby and one I thought I’d never be able to have as I barely had periods thanks to hypothalamic amenorrhea and when I did they were super light. I am not getting any younger either and have been saving for IVF thinking it would be inevitable but even then the likelihood of success would be low.

@NervesOfCottonoh thank you so much, in that case I would love to keep posting here! I already feel attached to this pregnancy which sounds ridiculous because a week ago I didn’t even know about it. Anxiety is off the scale - I can’t concentrate at work and I have googled far too much, there is so much that can go wrong in pregnancy! Bf has been and I am so grateful to him - I feel so supported.

oldernotwiserffs Absolutely. I'm not dating anyway so I'm just hanging around reading other people's stories, helping if I can!

I used to obsess over those 'Your baby is the size of a'... Weekly ones. It actually helped me when real life got in the way a bit as then I could think 'Its been a week & a half, you haven't googled the size for this week, & nothing has gone wrong!

I'm so glad that he is being supportive. It's a shock to you both, isn't it. I'm so glad that you've found each other, too (sorry, being soppy now!)

So baby is a wonderful miracle! So happy for you.

You will be great 🙂

Congrats my love! I know how much this means to you.. exciting times!! 😍

So, a little update from my IRL-only summer.

Met quite a few guys, some weeks none, some weeks several. Last week of summer was particularly fruitful.

Most fruitful places were cultural festivals, nights out dancing, travel hubs (trains/ stations/ airports) and being outside, say in a park, over the weekend, as well as the gym, weekend shopping trips... Sometimes chatting to staff in places as well, eg sheltering from the rain in a bar and getting chatting to the waiter, or being a repeat customer somwhere and getting the manager's number.

Now... Many of these encounters were NOT in the UK! Or not involving British men! Met a couple of Brits that way, but most guys were Italian, Spanish, Brazilian, American etc...

A few guys seem quite keen to date me (message daily, asking to meet etc) but so far I've only met one I am keen on. Definitely felt different from the others, both of us smiling with our eyes first time we spoke, wanted to keep finding out things about each other etc. He's really focused on me and present whenever we talk and his messaging is cute, e.g. will really overthink the details of the date, e.g. which exact spot we would meet, or engage with the detail of what I said, such as I might say I am feeling a bit tired in the afternoon, and he'd suggest ways to feel more alert instead of going 'ok cool' :)

Also... Getting some surprising attention from quite young guys!! I'm 35, so guys 25 and younger.

Oh I love this. I missed you're updates. I definitely think it's the best way to go I'm trying it too so far so good. Best of luck 🤞

So bit more of an update.

Someone from work is leaving that I quite like for various reasons. Yesterday she suggested that we should go to the pub when she leaves and I should show her where I go as I used to work in a pub and know lots of places. Everything was going well until…..she went into a fill 25 min rang about Starmer being this and that and its was “all the mussies in the hotels” that were bankrupting the country. It was their fault she was struggling, and soon after that, I was struggling.

I’m someone that believe that we are responsible for our own happiness. That using other people to deflect this idea is all wrong. I watched her and thought that I could never go out with someone who isn’t prepared to accept responsibility for our life choices. Once we have done that we control the controllables, and we focus our energy into making a difference that we can.

I now don’t want to go and very probably won’t. It’s a shame because she probably could have beaten me at Scrabble.

@Thatsthebottomlinei think you’ve dodged a bullet there. She sounds like a racist,

Change of perspective, here.
Guy I was seeing tried showing me photos of his ex 🤨
At that point, I realised I missed my ex. Who I'm now casually seeing again.
However. Part of me just loves the novelty and anticipation of first dates/meets. So I keep meeting other guys as "friends" (nothing sexual. I literally tell them I can only offer friendship).
Doing so has felt so fun with no pressure or expectations. It's made me realise, I like to just do whatever the efff I like, whenever the efff I like.
The thing is, I do love my ex. He feels like 'home'.

But I still wanna do whatever the hell I want. So.... 🤔🤷‍♀️
I realise this might be selfish. And might be linked to hormones. I don't know what to think.

Ooh this thread is still going!

Walking home after a really flat first date last Saturday night (that I couldn’t wait to escape as the conversation was so dry!), I got a message from someone I matched with a week ago who lives 2 hours away. I hadn’t heard from him all week and had assumed he’d kind of just fallen off the grid. Anyway I messaged saying I was on my way home, and if he was home too would he like to FaceTime? And much to my surprise he said yes. And even more surprisingly, he turned out to be quite attractive, articulate, funny and we spent an hour and a half chatting!

Long story short, he’s coming up to see me this Friday for dinner. There’s been a lot of flirting and chat (message and long phone chats). There seems to be a lot of chemistry but then I’ve never spoken this much to someone before meeting them, and I guess I am wary it might not translate in person! Hoping that it does…..!

Excitinggggg

@CosmicScouser Yes!! Fingers crossed it goes ok…