Furious at my family re pregnancy

[Chaoticgarden]

I think I just need a bit of grounding here because at the moment I am honestly of the mind to cut off my parents and my sister after they have been so hurtful towards me. I am so angry and upset right now.

So I am 40, I live in a house share while I wait for the house I own with my ex to sell. I had a fabulous glow up 2024 and was planning on more of the same for 2025. My ex was very abusive and basically drove me out of my home hence the living situation.

I have been seeing a new guy for about 6 months after 18 months single.

On Christmas Eve I found out I was pregnant. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I was in shock for about 2 weeks and couldn't stop crying. I could not believe it. It was a complete accident and I didn't know what to do. I have now decided to keep it and am 8 weeks along. The father is being super supportive and even if he wasn't, I earn a decent enough wage to be able to do it alone (just about).

I text my mum a few days after Christmas to tell her. Her immediate response was "Well I don't think this is what you need in your life right now but it's your life...". I was gutted and admittedly responded defensively to her and just said forget it.

I kept getting messages off her telling me it was icy outside/be careful driving etc. I've always had these kinds of messages off her and usually I appreciate them, but I just resented them at this particular time and ended up telling her to leave me alone.

I was very upset about everything and decided to write to her, I apologised for what I said, explained the situation and what had been going on and tried to make it light hearted. I got no response for 2 days after which I got a reply saying 3 lines, all of them cold and unfeeling, no apology for her lack of support, and then one saying that she was upset with me because I hadn't told her to her face or called her.

My sister spoke to her about it and got the same answer that she was upset I hadn't gone over there and "announced" the situation to her and my dad. They are apparently very hurt about it. Now this wasn't a planned pregnancy and I originally booked a termination then decided against it, so I was hardly in a position to be going anywhere and had no idea what to say to them anyway.

My parents are very judgemental, and frankly I didn't want to deal with their pitying looks about how I'd "messed my life up again" - my dad basically said buying a house with my abusive ex meant I'd ruined my own life which really hurt, and I didn't want to subject myself to more of their insensitive comments. My mother has also often shown disapproval at people having children outside marriage so telling them anything filled me with dread.

My sister thinks I should attempt to fix the situation with them, but I have already written my mother a long email and if I called her I am just not emotionally prepared for anymore insensitive comments. My boyfriend thinks we should go there and speak to them but I just don't want to. I will end up in tears and leaving abruptly and i just don't want to do that to myself right now.

On top of that, my sister has always wanted a baby and whilst she has so far been supportive, she seemed irritated at me when she was recounting the conversation she'd had. I told her not to get involved but she did anyway, and then seemed angry with me for wanting to know what was said. She then said to me that "I best get up and feed my cats early in the morning then from now on, otherwise she has no idea how I will look after a baby".

My sister lives with me at present in this house share, she is a nurse and is up at 6am, I am an IT manager and get up for work at about 7.30am by which time she's fed the cat. My cats always have dry food down so they never go hungry and this comment just hurt so much. I felt like it was just pure jealousy and resent at the situation, and she has been cold with me ever since.

I feel like my whole family has turned against me and frankly I am just furious. I plan on moving house in a few months but I am taking the opportunity to save as much as possible first for maternity leave. My partner has got a second job to save up also so that we have enough money for everything. My family have never supported me financially with anything, but always seem constantly "concerned" about me and I just resent it - i'm not sure what their "concern" actually stands for considering I out-earn them, support myself completely and have never needed their help with anything.

I've just made peace with not involving them in any of this now because I am so hurt and upset. I feel like it's always me making the effort with them and never the other way around. I feel like my parents never pick up the phone to me and I'm always going out of my way for them on Christmas/Birthdays while they just put £100 in a card and shove it through the door. I'd appreciate some opinions on what i should do, i am feeling stubborn and like i've already tried my best to sort this out but it's just been rejected - i hate to think that my parents are upset but i don't understand why this is suddenly all about them. I also don't understand my sister going from buying me flowers and supporting me to suddenly making horrible comments.

But you came across to me as obsessed with money, emotionally immature and that you think everyone should dance to your tune and you don't like it when they don't, bit of a princess

She didn't come across as any of that to me.

The last relationship was awfull, but I can now speak with complete confidence about abusive men and on leaving a relationship when you see someone is treating you like shit. If I saw even a single iota of that behaviour from my new partner i'd be terminating, but I haven't.

If you are going to have the baby then it should be because you want to and you are prepared to do it alone. You really cannot rely on a man you've only known for 6 months. You are in the honeymoon period, of course everything is rosy.

A baby puts a massive strain on a relationship, even a good one. I still think you should live independently, supporting yourself and your child and taking contributions from him as a bonus. Because it can all be taken away from you in a moment so you need to go into this knowing that you can cope on your own.

Well I won't be doing that thank you. If I needed to cope on my own, I would, but that doesn't mean I should go into it living alone when that would be financially detrimental to everyone.

Op if money needs to be squeezed at the moment and therapy is out of reach look into ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics.
https://www.adultchildrenofalcoholics.co.uk/

Meetings are online and in person and are free. It's a sister fellowship to AA and other 12 step fellowships.

I wish you all the best with your baby and relationship. I think the sooner you can move in the better - you don't want to be dealing with the physical and mental stress of a house move when you're late on in pregnancy!

Yes it's not ideal that you've only been dating 6 months, but you are where you are. You sound resourceful and clued up about abuse within romantic relationships so you will be alert to any red flags. I think strengthening your friendships with supportive people is probably a good priority now rather than trying to resolve things with your parents, but I would be hopeful that things with your sister may improve once she has got over her bitterness and resentment about her own lack of children. However, be prepared for cracks to appear if you begin the painful process of untangling yourself from your parents' horribly dysfunctional dynamic - if she remains stuck in the FOG then she may react badly to your attempts to live a healthier life. It's the crab bucket in action.

Yeah, you're a bit of a jerk really aren't you.

You remind me of Delores Umbridge a little bit.

If you only have my posts to go on, my suggestion is that you actually read them. What you're actually doing instead is painting your own picture, probably based on your own jealousy or unhappiness or something.

You speak as though you are some sort of authority on motherhood. The truth is that nobody sits there and thinks at length about HOW they are going to adapt, they know what's involved (and some people don't) and they are prepared to make those sacrifices, they plan as much as they can but the truth is that nothing really ever goes to plan. Perhaps you resent your children which is why you speak to me as though i'm an idiot?

You pointed out that perhaps my parents can't be bothered with me ebcasue I go to yoga retreats. I've never been to a yoga retreat in my life actually, I explained in my post if I came to peace with being childfree after an abusive relationship and came to love the IDEA of doing that as an alternative, I realised all the things I could have to improve my quality of life if children weren't on the cards for me. Perhaps this is your jealousy and resent of your children coming out since you made such a point of it.

I also said in my posts that I see my parents every weekend, I do their gardening, I take them out regularly, but if for any reason I haven't done that in the past due to work, or other plans (eg: having my own life when i bought a house and lived with my ex partner) they wouldn't pick up the phone to me.

I genuinely don't think your attempt at shaming me into being at fault for my parents failings is acceptable, but it does speak to the fact that perhaps you feel like you are a failure as a mother, perhaps you resent your own children which is why you are on your high horse criticising me and shaming me for things that actually are not my fault.

As for my cat, again you attempt to shame me when my post clearly explains i've had my cat for 10 years and fed her myself every day when I lived alone. Unfortunately my sister began feeding her earlier when SHE got up, instead of leaving it for me to do. My parents have nothing to do with the care of my pets and never ask about them so why would that be the cause? I've grown up on a farm taking care of animals including helping my mother with a flock of sheep... so I don't think they have any questions around my capability. My sister feeding the cats earlier out of choice then telling me not sticking to HER schedule would make me a bad mother is my sister being unkind - it isn't to do with me. Getting up at 7.30am for work isn't lazy or irresponsible pet ownership. She chose her career, I chose mine.

You seem to have ignored every point I've made in favour of making me feel bad. I'm not sure why, perhaps it makes you feel better about your own miserable life? I mean you can't even deal with going to a work Christmas Party so i suppose it says it all really. You're on here a lot!

Well, isn’t the fact that you texted them when you weren’t sure whether you were going to terminate or continue with the pregnancy part of the issue here — what did your text actually say? Because initial responses are going to vary enormously depending on how you presented the news of your pregnancy. No one is going to weigh in with ‘OMG! CONGRATULATIONS, I’m going to be a granny!’ if the text suggests mixed feelings and a possible termination in the air.

I don't think that's any of your business really.

Also, nobody (especially me) expected "omg congratulations" from them. If you read what i wrote then you'd see that, if you cba then don't comment.

I actually think @Namechangey23 got it right.

But every time anyone says anything you don't like you're so angry at them, e: ^
^
"^i wouldn't mind but you clearly haven't read any of what I've said so I'm not going to bother interacting with it anymore. The psychoanalysis is way off".
^
She had read it all and I agree with her. For the record before you dismiss me, I'm^^ not trying to be disrespectful or cheeky, just honest. I hope you can see that. Taking criticism is difficult.

She isn't attacking you she's just saying that you've quite rightly had a good time without kids and things will change A LOT.

That new dads can bolt when the going gets tough and a million threads on here with single mums in a flat they can't afford alone without they guy they thought they had for life, proves that.

So having friends and family onside helps. Even if you distance from them just now. And be careful of your violent dad. And remember what he's like when looking for childcare.

I agree with other posters that telling your parents about a pregnancy by text wasn't the best way to do it. Whatever your reasons. And that it could help if you explain to them why you did that.

Why you're apparently not round much (ie "hello stranger" comments were made to you) could also be addressed.

It's nice you spent money on your parents gifts. Not sure why they had to leave your gift for you as you'd gone out. Id have thought you would all have arranged something together. So a bit of a lack of communication there but not allocating blame.

It just seems like your family is not good at communicating, is dysfunctional, that you take criticism badly and don't want to hear anyone else's side (prob due to your family upbringing but you can change or your kid will end up like this too)

You may or may not be in for a shock, as I think all new parents are and it helps if two of you are fully in it together working as a team, but you can move past all of these things providing you're up for hard work and mat pay and nursery fees and all the associated crap!!

If you go ahead with the pregnancy I hope it all works out well. It could be the most wonderful thing in the world for you. Or it could be awful. A lot to think on. All the best.

She didn't get it right at all unfortunately and the way she spoke to me is just really not something i'm prepare to tolerate. I find your post is worded in a much more appropriate way FWIW.

• I'm aware that having children changes your life entirely. I have no idea how i'm supposed to convey that in order to be considered "qualified to have a child" by mumsnet. The truth is that all sorts has gone through my mind: What if my kid has ADHD, what if my kid has Autism, what if my kid has a disability, what if I suffer PND (very likely). How will I cope, what will I do etc etc. I've spoken to friends with children, I've spoken to people on forums, i've watched youtube videos on the reality of children -it's been non-stop truth be told. I'm left wondering why anyone does it at all sometimes!

• I'm aware that a lot of fathers bolt. I know. I'm not going into this thinking it'll be fine and dandy no issues at all, no questions asked. Honestly? It worries me. There is nothing whatsoever in his behaviour that gives me an indication that this is what he'd do, but i'm not stupid enough to think for a single second that that is any real guarantee of anything. Before I was pregnant he was talking about wanting to get married. God damnit I wanted to get married once upon a time, but now? It just doesn't hold the same appeal for me anymore if i'm completely honest! I have assets, he doesn't. He's a lovely man, but he's a man. I don't trust men. At all. Does that mean though that if I chose to go through with this I would live alone? No. If he's going to leave he's going to leave. I read posts ALLTHETIME about married men leaving their wives after a baby. There is no guarantee of anything in life, ever. There is no guarantee I wouldn't end up with a broken heart if I terminated or that I wouldn't resent my child if I chose to have it. It could go brilliantly, it could go badly. Who f'ing knows? Nobody does. There is no insurance to protect you against shite happening in life regardless of how long you've been with someone or how good your bank balance is. It's a case of "what do you want and do you want it badly enough" when all is said and done, and if you want it badly enough you'll find a way regardless of what happens PROVIDED you know what the risks are. There are risks with every choice in life.

• Having friends and family onside is definitely a preference, but if those people make your mental health worse, then it's not a net positive for me or a baby, and I'd never advise anyone to have their parents on side and ignore their shite behaviour JUST because they "needed them". Needing toxic people isn't a generally recommended approach and you only need to go and look at other posts on mumsnet to see that. You enter into a situation knowing the risks and if people are going to make life worse, you don't include them. Doesn't matter what it's related to. Telling my parents via text wasn't the best way, no. It's not how I would have liked it to happen but I wanted some support from my mum and didn't get it. That's unacceptable to me. I know if my daughter text me and told me something like that i'd be shocked but my first question would be "are you ok?" not "well this isn't what you need right now". I'm not 19 and clueless. I've provided for myself in every conceivable way in life since I left home. They have given me nothing - they don't owe me anything either after 18, but if they don't want to be a positive impact on my life and be supportive, then I don't owe them anything either, and i've been giving them plenty. I've basically kept the relationship with them afloat while they have put their feet up and done nothing proactive at all. I have the right to be pissed off about this and I won't be told otherwise. Same with my sister.

• As for me not being around much I am not sure why you didn't read my comments that clearly CLEARLY stated I see them weekly. I go to them. My sister barely sees them once a month. The comments are from my father who as I've already documented says whatever he wants. I'm not sure how in my parents pocket I have to be as a 40 year old woman for you or any others to deem it acceptable. They NEVER ask to see me, I ALWAYS go to see them. You shouldn't use always and never, but in this case that is exactly the situation. I ALWAYS book nice things for their birthdays and mothers/fathers day. They NEVER do anything nice for me and drop my gifts through the door, don't even knock. I am not "too busy" for them. I have a full time job, friends and my own life. I cannot go there every day to see them. Should I even be doing that? Weekly visits are more than most parents get from their adult children so please tell me where my effort is not enough. I am around plenty as far as i'm concerned so why haven't you read that? Or are you purely going on my fathers sarcastic and insensitive comments. He also told me I'd "fucked my life up" by buying a house with someone who turned out to be abusive. Are you going to agree with that sentiment as well? Or is it perhaps that you're taking his comments on face value when they have no basis on reality. Answers on a post card please.

• My parents leave gifts for me at the door EVEN when i'm in. They don't knock. They don't text to say they're coming. They do not ask ME if I want to go out. It's always ME asking THEM. How is this hard to comprehend, why aren't you "allocating blame" to them when i'm giving you the facts? Why are you blaming me for not "being around" yet being neutral towards them when I clearly tell you they put no effort in. I'd like to know your answer on that please. It seems unbalanced.

• My family are perfectly good at communicating when it comes to their opinions and being critical of my life choices. It's my fault because I ended up in an abusive relationship, it's my fault I once lost my job (this was years and years ago and I went there in tears and got told I was clearly useless - since then I went on to triple my salary and now i'm "amazing" and they are so proud). My family CHOOSE not to communicate in a healthy way. My sister is the same - please refer to her comments. You're basically saying my family are not at fault for being abusive. Please explain your rationale for this.

You finished off by repeating the sentiment, it could be great, it could be awful. That is the same for any choice you make in life. Literally any. Some are far more far reaching than others - having children - i can't think of a more far reaching impact than that quite frankly. Taking a job and buying a house can be reversed, having a child certainly cannot. I object to people speaking to me like I am some ignoramus who decided to do this after spending 5 minutes staring at the sky and walking around the baby section in Next. The LAST thing on my mind is cute this or that, the absolute first thing on mind mind is being up all day and night feeding every 2 hours and being vomited on and can I handle that. Trust me, i am going into this thinking about the worst aspects of it because in my mind that is the only way to go into something this huge. You cannot afford to have your head stuck in the clouds. My family would provide NO support. I already know that, they have already told me that if I ever had a child, they wouldn't be doing any babysitting and my father certainly wouldn't tolerate a screaming child - he couldn't even tolerate a trip to my new house when I bought one until 4 months after I bought it... for my birthday. They are rigid people and their routines are their priority - they are "too old" to help out so they say, and that is with anything....even coffee with their adult daughter.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You’re not a 17 year old who may need to rely on family for support. You’re a 40 year old woman, you are financially independent, you have the father who is being supportive and who can pay his own way too. I don’t think anyone really needs to worry about it not being an ideal time/situation because you have the next 6months to get yourself in to the right situation for your new family.

Your mums instinct to be judgey doesn’t seem to be the real issue here, I’m sure you could iron that out with a conversation and you appeasing her. It sounds like this has dredged up a lot of your childhood trauma.

if I were you I think I’d try and calm the situation down so as not to be in a fight with your parents, as that will cause you unnecessary stress and aggravation when pregnant but I would then take a huge step back and consider if your relationship with them benefits you and whether you want that toxicity around your baby.

Oh so we've resorted to name calling now..yawn. perhaps it's you who inherited the abusive traits after all and not your sister who spends her days caring for sick people. I have a lot of time for nurses, they are usually salt of the earth type people and grafters.

No one is trying to shame you, just proffering an alternative view point. It's nice of you to suggest I am a both a jerk and a failure as a mother and have a miserable life, because of course, that's not abusive at all! I'll really take that assessment on board from someone who hasn't given birth to her child yet...

So you can read I have some other posts on here, slow handclap.

Good luck to you OP, I hope it all works out, for your child sake.

I think you should proffer elsewhere. Your feedback isn't welcome and frankly I do not want to listen to what you have to say. You are vile.

OP I'm sorry if I missed any pertinent points in my reply, for example I didn't know you were working when your parents dropped by to see you. They absolutely. should have arranged things better.

And you're quite right not marrying someone that may not be the right guy for you as you should indeed protect your assets.

But you're so ANGRY and defensive with everyone. Calling people names but not liking it if they do the same to you.

We aren't the ones you should be angry at. Although granted it's hard to not take things personally when you're on a forum and feel attacked, even if that's not how posters intended their comments.

There are so many people who have shat on me from a great height that if I got angry at them all I'd have a heart attack with the stress of it all.

Maybe you should step away from this thread and look after yourself and find your zen again while you decide how to proceed and move on.

I do genuinely wish you all the best.

It sounds as though there is a dynamic in your family where you are viewed as vulnerable/unwise/immature/incompetent and others feel entitled to criticise and condescend you - despite the fact that you have actually built a successful life that you can be proud of.

Changing this dynamic is likely to affect other family members in ways which are emotionally uncomfortable for them, which is why they may be resisting the obvious signs that it no longer fits (and perhaps never did!), and is in fact horribly unfair to you eg:

• if you are in fact independent, capable and fulfilled in your own life, will your parents feel a diminishment of their role as your protectors and caregivers? Will they be made to confront their progression from being the adults of the family, to being the elders of the family (with the frailty and vulnerability that often accompanies increasing age)?

• if you are in fact settled, happy and responsible (eg demonstrably able to look after a baby, let alone a cat!), will this in some way diminish your sister's status as the good one, the responsible one, the achiever, the girl who has got it all together? Does she fear losing the approval, perhaps even preference, of your parents?

I would take some space from your parents and sister right now, let things cool and focus on yourself, your partner and your future. You've done all that you can, now is the time to rise above their behaviour and let them see the error of their judgements in good time. Whilst you shouldn't pander to them, try not to hold onto a grudge either.

This resonates with me, my wife’s family do that to her. She’s married (obviously), is a professional working in public sector, and we own a house, so pretty successful life. But we don’t have kids, she’s gay and we own pedigree cats and go on a lot of holidays and her family treat her like she’s basically a fuck up, immature and frivolous.

Whereas my family, and I’m in exact same position, are proud of me, see me as successful and respect the fact we live a good life.

i don’t have advice on how to change the dynamic but I would bet once they see you mirroring what they think is the correct way of doing things ‘partner, own home, child’ they will start treating you as an adult.

I would also ignore those that are telling you you’re being unreasonable and also viewing you as some kind of fuck up. Being in a job, financially secure and not relying on others is a great starting point of being a successful adult. This accidental pregancy could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

I think when you can't rely on your parents/family to recognise your accomplishments, and perhaps even more importantly, to see you for who you truly are - then it's even more important to really see yourself, appreciate yourself and take pride in yourself. I know that is really hard, lonely and painful but I really do think it's the only solution. The solution is outside of them and within you.

Also trying to understand and accept that their reasons for trying to keep you in the role of "useless one" are their own, to do with the roles/identities they are protecting for themselves, and don't actually mean they don't care for you or love you - which they likely do.

I do hope that your family will come around to also seeing a truer you (and if they are ever going to do so, your self assurance will surely help), but you can't make them, and I think you have to let go of their approval. You don't need to defend yourself, to your parents, to your sister or even to these random people on this thread. That's what I meant to get at, about not holding a grudge. Coming to peace with their flaws/limitations, and the ways that those have hurt you, but also making space to enjoy the positives that do exist in your relationships with them as well. It's a state of mind which takes a bit of time to come to*. But I honestly think becoming a parent can be an enormous source of self reflection and realisation.

*I think being really angry is a normal response and a stage to go through. Just don't be rash with what you choose to do / say in this stage

Oh so we've resorted to name calling now..yawn. perhaps it's you who inherited the abusive traits after all and not your sister who spends her days caring for sick people. I have a lot of time for nurses, they are usually salt of the earth type people and grafters.

Good grief. Not everyone in the nursing profession is Florence Nightingale and a faultless individual beyond all reproach. What a ridiculous thing to say.

I said Usually. Obviously not Lucy Letby!

I've had generally very good experiences, why is it ridiculous to say many nurses are salt of the earth types? You pretty much have to be a grafter in that profession due to the shifts and nature of the work. You have to care about people to want to go into it and to stay there, it kind of goes with the territory. My job involves sitting at a computer all day (and filling in for Dolores Umbridge at Hogwarts according to OP), I couldn't do what nurses do. Shame, I always saw myself as Professor McGonagall.

Hilarious considering my sister comes home and moans about what c**ts the patients are. But yeah I guess being an IT Manager is a shit profession and I have nothing to add to society. meh.

To be fair to your sister, a lot of the patients probably are cunts! I'd rather have a competent nurse who called me a cunt behind my back than an incompetent one.

My mother is a bit like this.

If you're a policeman or a nurse or a doctor then you're "good". If you're not those things she doesn't know what you do or what the point of you is.

The funny thing is the professions are not reflective of the individual, which to be honest should be clear to anyone with a brain considering the fact the world is run by some of the biggest snakes out there.

My father was a policeman for 30 years - proper salt of the earth alcoholic who didn't mind hitting women. Great guy.

My sister - a nurse, who goes batshit crazy and screams at you if you question her, calls her patients c**ts and has had to come to me multiple times when she's had issues with her manager because she can't construct a decent email asking for a payrise/asking for holiday etc. She's just finished her second degree, SUPER proud of her, but it was an excuse for her telling everyone to "fk off i'm too busy" for about 2 years any time you dared to ask her if she was free for a glass of wine. Eggshells basically.

To be fair, you are absolutely right.

This is how I feel like I'm seen.

Some years ago I replaced my car and bought an MX5. I don't have it anymore but I bought one in my mid 30's, it's no more expensive than a normal car and they are SO fun to drive. I also have pedigree cats. My parents thoughts? Exactly what your partner gets.

In the meantime my parents house is going into disrepair, there are serious issues with the roof leaking, it hasn't been redecorated in over 30 years and we've been told it'll be our problem to sort out when they are dead. That's something to look forward to I suppose.

I think I am just very fed up of people taking what I've said and running off somewhere else with it. People are assuming what my parents mean and what my faults must be, and i'm giving the information from my side.

I wasn't always working when my parents dropped by, but the point is, even if I was home they wouldn't tell me they were coming, they just drop things at the door and leave. This is what my mum does. It's this weird "well if i'm not wanted" behaviour and honestly, there is NO reason for it. I've actively sought out time with my mother regularly - I take her places all the time, so why wouldn't she text and say "i'm coming over, are you in?" that's all it would take.

When I ask her she says "well you don't like me showing up un-announced". This is because she's done it to my sister and my sister has shouted at her about it, and it's also because I've explained we both work and please check before you come over. My parents don't expect us to check before we go over, but they are in all the time and retired! If they are not in, we have a key to let ourselves in to the family home. It's quite different!

My mum though... she isn't listening to any of this so she just drops the gifts or post or whatever it is at the door then leaves without saying anything. No text, no call, nothing. I feel like it's quite passive aggressive to be honest and very odd behaviour. If I was retired and home all the time, by all means drop by, but i'm not. According to some i'm at my "yoga retreat" though..... the one i've never been to.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

I know competent nurses who manage not to call patients cunts inside or outside of work.

I think it still reflects on them if they do.

Combined with the sister's ridiculous cat feeding comments and her kick off at the op, cursing etc. she doesn't sound very pleasant. Let's hope her bf procreates before he realises what she's like.

(And it's impossible for anyone on here to know if she's competent or not, she could not be and also call patients cunts after work).