Clare's law request

[olivietolivie]

Has anybody ever done a Clare's law request, been invited to a police station for disclosure and it not be a deal breaker? I've got an appointment next week and it just feels strange continuing to be 'normal' around the guy when I imagine it's all going to end next week. Or is it? Would appreciate some views as I feel a bit muddled.

i did a CL request when I met my partner, primarily because I’ve experienced DV and especially since having children I didn’t want to develop anything serious/start to commit mentally without doing one.
In my case, they rang me to say it was a ‘non disclosure’, ie nothing to disclose.

Having experienced DV, I know I didn’t see it coming and had faith in my then partner. Until it happened. So I think CL requests are always valid.

You really are loveblind here, Angry, drug addict boyfriend who enjoys taking what he can from you, you miss his love bombing and now your just getting the shit but he got you good and proper in that first year I've read.

And don't back track, you've said you ignored the email. You're a HCP with children living with you. You are in danger, maybe not yet but this will escalate.

The man can do no wrong it appears but please don't advise other woman to be blinkered.

By the way I have been were you are and it ended in my near death, imprisonment, hes now out on licence and I don't go anywhere without having my wits about me, it's shit.

You are in the trap, you don't know it yet but DO NOT down play this shit to other women, Claire's Law has saved so many lives.

I did CL for my current partner. I had no concerns but have previous long experience of DV and ex was in prison at the time. No disclosure but the officer said it was a good call and everyone should check

@Treeinthesky what do you mean by this?

“Scared maybe.”

Sorry, but social workers don’t go out the same day to see children because some random rings up to say their uncle doesn’t have food in his house.

You know you’re minimising but you’re sticking your head in the sand.

My ex said the same, and what he told me he'd been accused of is what the Clare's law said he'd been arrested for. So he told me the truth really.

My ex also accused me of emotional abuse despite being a text book case himself . They spin it all around to justify what they did to them. Also look up 'reactive abuse'

Update us op

@COS2102 I agree, unfortunately it does happen. Women do make false accusations and it usually is because of a child custody battle.

You cannot get legal aid for family court matters unless you are a victim of domestic violence. An allegation is all that's needed for the police to enforce bail conditions preventing Dad (or mum) from contact, because of course the risk of it being true is too high to not put in precautions whilst they conduct their investigation.

So Dad (or mum) are now out of the house, away from the kids, and if they inevitably take you to court for child arrangements you get it for free (or cheaper) whereas they do not and will have to fork out thousands for legal representation.

Due to the backlog of the work that the police and CPS have, it can take years before a No Further Action.

Whilst majority of DV and SA allegations are true, false allegations do happen and you have to be completely naive to think that they don't.

Sure. It’s extremely unusual.

What was the sentence his girlfriend received for deceiving the police?

Let me guess. Your kids are ‘your world’. Except for when you actually need to take action.

This script is so old.

When this happened there wasn’t Clare’s law, but an ex told me his ex had ran out of their house screaming to make him look bad in fromt of the neighbours. Later on things became physical from him during a row and when the police came, I overheard them on the radios talking about his “previous”. Luckily for me it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but yeah, the facts don’t lie even when the perpetrator tries to make them lie.

Good luck @olivietolivie

Thanks all for your good wishes and continued advice.

I'm going to the police station after work today. I feel a bit sick about it. Didn't sleep well last night and was wide awake at 5:30 thinking about it.

I will of course update this thread when I've been.

Best of luck today @olivietolivie.

Good luck

I am constantly disgusted at what women put above their kids on this forum.

@saltandvinegar no that's not what happened.

My bf has been to prison before for gbh aged 19 he's mid 30s now. He hasn't had any issues since. Neighbour reported me saying dating someone whose been to prison ss rang me did a background check on him told me exactly what he had already told me and then sent forms to school for kids to complete about things that make them happy and sad. Both kids wrote about how happy they were with my partner. Ss rang back dropped the case str8 away as no issues and no violence to women and children no risk. I did a claires law when we had a break not long ago was curious around the charge. The police emailed me I asked if any thing I didn't already know and they said no. Therefore left it.

@olivietolivie you arent allowed to disclose to anyone what is said or shown otherwise you break the law.

She can say whether it's a positive or negative result

Well we don’t know who OP is talking about . There’s no name to disclose info about.

Good luck OP

Hope you find what you are looking for

Hope it goes okay but I echo the others, he's bad news. Have you done the Freedom project or had any counselling/therapy regarding your previous abusive relationship(s)?

@MissTrip82

As if the police would even dare arrest someone for 'making up false allegations' of this nature let alone, charge them and what jury is going to send a woman to prison because of a she said/he said situation. There would be national uproar! And would only prevent real victims from coming forward. It just isn't worth it for the police or CPS to prosecute, only if there is credible and proven hard cold evidence that it was made up. Even then, I doubt it would get very far.

Hmm... I would say 'bye, bye.'.

When they start ranting it's actually disclosure that you should take serious.

I had a call from fire-infested Los Angeles with a friend yesterday, recently divorced, whose ex claimed that his previous wife was such a horrible person and had made false DV allegations against him in the past and was declared crazy and whatnot.

Well, before and in the first year they were married, he was on his best behaviour.

After that she started to find out that everything he ranted about his ex-wife and the various accusations she had made about him was, in fact, true. And just like with the ex, he tried to get my friend to be medically declared crazy too and take her $2 mil property from her.

Déjà vu.