Dating Thread 51 - 2025. New year, new start

[TwistedWonder]

The Rules:
• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Haha… The idea of it makes me smirk. We spent a lot of time together in person and also texting on Monday. We both probably get a kick out of the other still showing interest or at least caring.

Honestly, I think he might have some kind of issue/ insecurity in that department. Because when we were dating he wanted to take it slow and started acting a little weird when it was inevitably going to happen. In terms of our relationship, the physical ‘click’ was always the poorest, he was just always so nervous.

Secondly, I’m not sure he’d be able to keep it a secret! He’d probably walk over to me at lunch and go ‘last night was hot, shall I come round again tonight’? 😆 He did genuinely ask me on a date in earshot of other work colleagues and absolutely everyone knew he was after me as he was so public about it!

I’m several levels of seniority above him so I should try maintain some kind of reputation! Just got really carried away with this boy.

He’s actually one of those guys with a really good moral compass, all the girls love him and think he’s really nice, and he’s been nothing but attentive and caring to me last couple of months, so maybe just not muddy the waters. He’s probably a lot better in bed in my fantasies than IRL anyway!

I have been messaged by some some hopeful 60+ year olds, the oldestso far has been 68, so my age range appears to be 50 years!🙄😄

I'm 55 and my upper age limit is 56 especially to avoid this horrific sounding situation occurring 😁😅🤣

@OchreHedgehog - oh good to have someone else from N.I on the thread!!

I have been chatting to lots but finding it hard to find guys in N.I who actually say they want something longer term (I do! ) I'm early 30's

I had a 79 year old message me and he got really arsey when I politely declined. Told me I was age prejudiced- he’s right 🤣🤣

I must admit I look at their photos when the message and think ‘really? You see us together do you?’

Im 50+ but I still go to house music festivals and day raves - not ready for the garden centre and British Legion just yet

@DrinkingTooMuchPinot
lol. I think it's because I've only just lowered the age range so for about 48 hours I'll probably get all the good ones and then it'll dry up. Interestingly, this guy was able to message me on bumble without matching with me by "complimenting" one of my photos and I was able to reply to his comment. Never had that before. But I liked that he started the convo.

I hate that part of bumble! I prefer them to initiate

I'm exactly the same. I have a lot of energy and can pass for mid 40s (men are pretty bad at age guessing tbh, I'm sure women can age me to the month)

@oldernotwiserffs @LaBrasseria2024 @ElleintheWoods @Crushed23

I'm going to inject a different perspective into your earlier conversation where you all agreed it's important not to seem desperate and to have (and portray that you have) a full life.

I think you do have to act on that desperate feeling rather than tamp it down, and not overly focus on building a full life if you want to find someone to have children with. Beating around the bush is not the right approach when you have a clear goal and a short timescale to achieve it.

Red flags are a problem, but some compromise might be necessary. Like accepting someone less than ideal, over not accepting anyone at all.

I do agree with @ElleintheWoods 's psychologist friend that balance is important, but if finding a partner to help you start a family is a priority then go after it with vigour!

To hell with anyone who says that makes you 'desperate' or anything other than 'go getum girls!!'

@LaBrasseria2024 I wish I could introduce you to my ex. He may be too old (45) but he's a really good guy who is looking for someone to settle down with. He has a house, good job, amazing car etc. A type. No hair on his head but good looking otherwise. We just weren't compatible but I know he's on OLD and I genuinely wish him well and hope he does find someone who he can make it work with.

So a little update on my third OLD connection who I was supposed to meet today. It didn't happen, but seems to be genuine circumstances so I have agreed to reschedule.

This is a really intriguing one so I will keep you all posted!

I may have to pause hinge for a couple of days, unpacking seems to also boost my profile for a little bit. I must be at the back of the stack, or I have rejected them all now! Wish hadn't limited myself to 40+ when I first rejoined.

No one new to chat with tonight so just flirting with poorly Mr Tallirish. Might try and reschedule our catch up for Friday if he feels better by then.

@ElleintheWoods haha going forward I really need to channel my inner ElleintheWoods! Mr Work crush sounds fun - I know you probably can't act on anything but I'm sure it makes the work day more interesting 😉

@DrinkingTooMuchPinot thanks! I will see him again and I feel better about it now as I was a bit unsure whether or not he liked me because it was me suggesting meeting up but now he has initiated I feel a bit more confident 🙂

@DrinkingTooMuchPinot most of the likes i get from men on hinge are awful. I'd take the 18 year old as a compliment though! What a shame about Mr Tallirish, I would be disappointed too. I am quite forward and would probably message Mr Rebound if I were you - what have you got to lose? I hope Mr Tallirish is better by Friday for you.

@TwistedWonder oh wow, I can see why that put you off. We're not all like that though, I promise!

@PeachyKeane I love your attitude towards dating. You exude calmness.

@OchreHedgehog thank you for this perspective. I am honest with guys when I speak to them that I am looking to settle down and I don't mind if that scares them off but I probably have a tendency to prioritise dating/a man over other aspects of my life and that isn't healthy so it is a balance. In the past I might have waited to tell a guy what I wanted for fear of scaring them away but I kind of think that if it scares them away now then we're not on the same page so that's fine. Interested to hear more about your 3rd OLD connection!

@OchreHedgehog - haha oh you can introduce me 😉I have dated a 45 year old/someone a few years older than that last year, so not too old. Unfortunately that one was an internal bachelor though!

I have also dated someone with a shaved head before

And if the cancellation sounds genuine, it probably is ! So yes keep us posted on that one

Oooh I love intriguing.... please do keep us posted.

Just had a look on Facebook dating 🤮
The worst pool Ive seen so far.

Oh really? That's not very encouraging! I'm away with work for a week soon but may check that after I come back to see if it's the same in my area.
A few new likes from hinge overnight, some in their 30s and 40s. Unfortunately no one appealing, but at least that age group is back on my app now.

@LaBrasseria2024 I wonder if I can work out how to PM you. Is it possible to do that without a paid account on MN? I'm on the chat app and can't see any way to do to from here. Maybe when Im on the laptop later.

@OchreHedgehog - you have to private message on the desktop version, it doesn't work on the app!

So I wake up to a message from my flirty 31 year old suggesting we meet up. But somewhere between sending the message and me reading it he has deleted his account 🤷‍♀️ so I can't respond.

I'm thinking caught by the gf and made to delete his profile?......

Someone else has messaged me to ask me "what kind of dress would I wear to dinner?" No hi, how are you etc. 🤷‍♀️ wtf

@finallyaskedfordivorce argh that is so annoying 😑 🙄

I got one asking if I would like my own private foot massager. He was very into feet. Honestly 😬😅 again no hi etc.

Then another guy who had basically wanked at me over WhatsApp so I cut him off texted me to see how I was last night. I couldn't even remember who he was as I'd deleted all our chat. So he had to remind me. I was like "oh, you" how would you have the cheek to reconnect with someone when you'd done that? They're mad!

@PeachyKeane

I had one of those. Starting wanking during a telephone call so I cut him off and blocked him.

A few months later when I reactivated my dating profile, messaged saying ‘hi stranger where did you disappear to?’ - and he was in his 50’s

@PeachyKeane Some people are truly weird!

So reactivated my profiles yesterday to see if things improved - first messages were from a couple of geriatrics which I immediately deleted.
Another one from a bloke who wants a dominatrix to abuse him - deleted.

A lot of likes and a handful of matches which I’ll go through and see who is worth a chat.

Oh and just got a message saying ‘great hands, I can imagine them wrapped round my ……’ - sigh who said romance is dead?

@TwistedWonder
You have to wonder if they ever have any success with these kinds of intros.........otherwise why would blokes keep peddling such crappy chat up lines 🤷‍♀️