Unsure if woman working in shop is interested in me. (Be kind, mums)

[Niddster]

A tale as old as time, but interested in anyone's perspective.

It’s a marginally atypical situation in which I’ve (m37) done my best to not be creepy or overstep boundaries. There’s a charity shop in my town I go into most weekends, and the manager is a woman about my age. She was always friendly for the at least two years I’ve been visiting, but we didn’t talk much beyond a brief chat about something I might buy. I suppose I wasn’t really noticing her.

Then a few months ago a guitar got donated and it led to us talking about music, so I started to make more conversation with her subsequently, very aware that she works there and is to some extent obliged to make pleasant conversation in return, and not wanting to be the guy that bothers her at work.

Subsequently I’ve started going in twice most weeks, and I noticed that she was beginning - apparently - to seek me out. I would say hi if she was behind the counter, and then a minute later she’d come and work close to me and talk. This has happened enough that I started to think “hell, this is what I would do if I was interested”. I came in wearing a new coat, she complimented me on it; I bought some art, she said she’d thought of me when she was putting it on the shelf; she asked me my opinion on the provenance of an antique print, going so far as to fetch the massive thing from the back and write down the details for me to research. On a busy day recently I decided to press a little and ask if she wanted me to fetch her a coffee from the local place. She said no, but then hung around with me by the door for a few minutes chatting, and as I would turn to go she'd say something else to keep conversation going. This has continued for some time now. We have in-jokes and recurring references and everything. Anyway, now I like her quite a bit.

She’s either just a great liar in the name of customer service, naturally friendly or has some interest. I suppose there’s no harm in outright asking her out, but for the potential awkwardness of course, and being British I would implode.

I just think you enjoy being on here getting attention from people and creating a back and forwards. Which is fine, but I think if any woman ever found out you'd made a 10 page thread this in depth about someone uou don't actually know, they'd run.

Lol....why bother with the shop lady OP. It seems you have admirers already on here. 😂

But also this.

Count me out.

Only women are mums. You cannot claim you were using mums as a gender neutral term. That is utterly ridiculous.

It's far more 'problematic' to accuse someone of idiocy when they are assuming you actually mean the words that you are using.

10 pages of essay flippant responses , never mind thst the original topic is whether a woman neither us or he knows would go on a date with him.
I don't think you're the weird one!

But not every woman on here is a mum, either; are you offended that I'm calling them mums? Should they all leave the site? More utterly ridiculous is your insistence that this is purely about words, rather than context. If you read "be kind, mums" as a cold imperative from a man expecting women to do as he wants, you are either trolling or lack some vital element of understanding common to most. Either are not my concern, I suppose, it's just such a strange thing to worriedly pull me up on, over and over.

That's not the original topic. The original topic was "does this woman sound like she's interested in me", not a request for dating advice and techniques.

You caught me! This entire thread, the post, the woman in the shop, all of it - was just a trojan horse to date an unknown person on mumsnet with below-average reading comprehension. Fuck. I'm sad now.

Unfortunately I do not know which charity shop, if any, crockofshite works in.

Was here when you first posted and glad to see you’re still slaying the trolls, OP. I hope Ms Charity Shop reciprocates your feelings.

Loving this thread and the OPs (totally justified) increasingly waspish replies 😁

I’m rooting for you OP.

Why on earth would you think I am the one who wants anyone who isn't a mum to leave the site, when you are the one referring to every single user of Mumsnet as "mums"? That is some truly astounding logic.

lol

This stopped being funny days ago.

So why on earth are you here reading it?

Because I can?

This thread is the perfect example of a man posting, and some users jumping on it to pick apart piece by piece everything he’s saying, to make him seem to be a dickhead. Now you’ve gone through this OP, how hard would asking someone out for a coffee be, lol

I'd say exacfly the same things if op was a woman.

honestly it's still pretty funny

anyway I asked her out and we're married now

Not a million miles from, but not Reigate. She was delighted to be asked. Met for a coffee / lunch. Enjoyed it. Lots in common, similar taste in things, easy going company. Have a second date booked.

I hope you've enjoyed your attention.

You're 37, not 13 - just ask her for lunch, give her your number or whatever else feels normal for your relationship dynamic.

What did... what did you do, Mumsnet

Did one of you rascals find her and send her this? You sneaky devils.