So yeah I'm kinda convinced that I'm going to end up alone. I'm a 33 y/o M who achieved my dream job and living in NYC.. I never had a relationship, I have lots of hobbies, in good shape, good looking, and really trying to go out.... No luck.

[SpoonyNavyPeer]

So yeah I'm not desperate for a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much convinced that I'm going to end up alone as a 33 y/o M who never had a real relationship in the past. I Really don't know what to do. I have hobbies, I pay for classes I have interests in, I try to go to social events... In the meanwhile I've been trying to do things on my own like go to movies, dinners, jogs, etc.... I've been trying to talk to girls and just to get to know them but all the girls whose numbers I gotten, never amounted to a single date.
I know I'm suppose to focus on making myself the best version of myself, doing things alone, not to be desperate, and all that..... but tbh I don't feel like its working.
I've tried online dating and that isn't working either, 0 matches. I struggle to even find girls I like and my standards aren't that high.
I just give up.
TL;DR: I'm a 33 y/o M that never had a gf, never had a real kiss and I'm trying so hard to even go on a date and get into a relationship and its useless.

Others used numbers but the OP has talked about his "standards", which from men is often incelspeak for a woman's looks.

🎣

Yes, and their compliant, subordinate nature.

If that's the case OP - good luck, you're gonna need it.

I was thinking this.
Quite often its not that Incels can't find women to date them its that they can't get women who they feel are good enough for them to date them.
Its a sense of entitlement

This has a bit of a self pitying incel vibe to it to be honest and NOTHING puts a woman off faster.

Things like talking about being good looking means NOTHING, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and personality far tops it.

If you have NEVER managed to get a date/relationship though trying so hard you are clearly doing something very wrong. Most likely coming off creepy for some reason or possibly very 'woe is me' self deprecating (not in a funny/charming endearing way).

Question: Do you have any personal male friendships with people your own (or roughly your own) age?

I found some men think women are a whole other species and treat us weirdly based on stereotypes as if they are in an attinborough documentary trying to attract a mate and people hate that. Women can be just like one of 'the boys' because we are just regular people too. If you can make male relationships you should be able to make female ones too. So if you have lots of male friends but struggle to even get past the basic communication with women maybe start treating them how you would treat a man you like. Sometime its just as simple as not thinking of us as something you have to try so hard and change your behaviors for... just be yourself.

Another thing this question relates too, is I don't know if its just the above, or if you maybe have ASD? Its runs in my family and I know my male family members with it really struggle with women but more so in general with ANYONE their own age too. Usually favoring much old dad/grandad type old men figures who share the niche hobbies/obsessions (things like trains or bird spotting etc...). The men in my family also struggle not to obsessively hold court on these hobbies (once they start they just don't stop) which puts a lot of younger non hobbyist off too. Despite this they are very functional, successful, smart, busy a lot and since you mentioned it 'decent looking' people so non of those things are the issue it just the sort of 'passionate' and often as a result 'argumentative/condescending' tone they tend to bring to most convosations conversation.

Ha ha, get real, 33year old doctors are not single. Even 33yr old married doctors are beating people off with sticks.

New York has a pretty good dating scene - especially for men. You meet women all the time at work and through friends.

Ask a friend to fix you up - ask a colleague if they now any single women who they think would suit you.

you must spend a lot of time with single female doctors and nurses. I know workplace romance can be complicated - but I also know a lot of doctors who date a lot of doctors!

A single, good looking, charismatic doctor living in NYC shouldn’t have any problem meeting single women (or single men).

You're coming across as a bit of a knob, to be honest. So I'm assuming your friendship group is the same? So probably don't put too much belief in what they say.

The OP is either lying to us or himself

How old are the women you do go on dates with? Are you looking for someone much younger than you?

If you want something you have to focus on getting that!

We all get into crap relationships because we ultimately find out what we don’t want and appreciate what we do want when we find it.

You need more practice!!

This week, ask 1 woman to dinner.

Next week ask another -

I find it very hard to understand a good looking fit bloke doesn’t have a queue on woman and think you are definatly missing you time and training these woman into friends!!

Go out there and make your reality and if your have a set ‘type’ you need to change it because it isn’t working g for you.

I met my husband when he was 30, he had decided he was going to be single for life because he hadn't met anyone he wanted to spend his life with. I know this is different to your situation but after he had given up on meeting the right person he met me and we have been together for over 25 years. You just never know what's around the corner. Just focus on enjoying your life and then if you meet someone it's a bonus, if not you already have a good life.

You don’t sound very introspective so it’s unlikely you’re going to get decent advice here, as you are unaware (or just unwilling to tell us) of your impact on women when you’re trying to be interesting to them or of the ins and outs of what you’re looking for in a woman and how that might present in someone you don’t know yet. And, to be honest, a lot of what you say sounds an either contradictory or as though you have a false image of yourself (in particular the: you don’t have high standards but don’t like any women you meet).

What do your female friends suggest? They are more likely than us to see the real issues and be able to make suggestions.

Also, you are coming to this a bit late and that does hinder your chances. Generally speaking people get less flexible as they get older so if you haven’t been exposed to sharing with someone romantically you may simply be struggling with that. A sex therapist might be useful at helping you understand if this is the case and giving you exercises to expose yourself to experiences that will help you connect with women romantically.

33, never been kissed or had any sexual experience at all? Is this correct?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5238815-is-it-that-much-of-a-turn-off-when-a-man-never-had-a-gf?latest=1

Was this you too?

I find it really hard to believe a good looking doctor in NY is getting 0 matches. Unless you’re presenting yourself in spectacularly bad way that overrides both.

I don't know if OP is 'real' or coming back, but anecdotally - my boyfriend (a long long time ago !) got an excellent job in New York, he went for the experience and to bump his cv (advertising, very prestigious company). So I went over a couple of times to visit. He was a very attractive man (esp to me), straight (obvs), excellent company (fantastic sense of humour, spontaneous etc) He was forever pulling out notes from his coat pockets from women (girls?!) with their numbers on saying "would love to hang out, call me". He thought it was amusing (he never was/still isn't a big head) So was very aware he had every opportunity to go up the garden path if he so fancied. But he didn't. Seeing how hard it was and/or is to pin down straight men with good jobs in NY (in a cliché sort of way aka SATC) I am very surprised at the dearth of opportunities the OP has described ! Hmmm......

@3luckystars just seen your post. Nailed it !

Yeah, gotta be something wrong with you, OP, cos doctors have women throwing themselves at them all the time. Even the boring, psychopathic, ugly ones.

possible, if the person himself does not 'like' anyone. Sounds possible if they've so far only found 2 women dateable in their entire life (but still not good enough)

I cannot believe that a good looking doctor has any issues finding a person. Hit up your Asian friends, we are great at match making

I call bullshit on this OP

This is like blood from a stone. What was it about them, you didn't like? What are you looking for?

You say your standards aren't too high but then say none of these girls were right for you so you need to think about what it is exactly that you find attractive?

What is it you find unattractive?

Are you looking for a unicorn or just being picky or are you looking to meet people in the wrong places?

Wait, phd or medical doctor?

Man to man, you’re not as good looking as you think if you’re getting interest from girls you find unattractive. They’re likely your equals. Stop aiming for models, and you’ll have success