So yeah I'm kinda convinced that I'm going to end up alone. I'm a 33 y/o M who achieved my dream job and living in NYC.. I never had a relationship, I have lots of hobbies, in good shape, good looking, and really trying to go out.... No luck.

[SpoonyNavyPeer]

So yeah I'm not desperate for a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much convinced that I'm going to end up alone as a 33 y/o M who never had a real relationship in the past. I Really don't know what to do. I have hobbies, I pay for classes I have interests in, I try to go to social events... In the meanwhile I've been trying to do things on my own like go to movies, dinners, jogs, etc.... I've been trying to talk to girls and just to get to know them but all the girls whose numbers I gotten, never amounted to a single date.
I know I'm suppose to focus on making myself the best version of myself, doing things alone, not to be desperate, and all that..... but tbh I don't feel like its working.
I've tried online dating and that isn't working either, 0 matches. I struggle to even find girls I like and my standards aren't that high.
I just give up.
TL;DR: I'm a 33 y/o M that never had a gf, never had a real kiss and I'm trying so hard to even go on a date and get into a relationship and its useless.

Do you urgently need £5000 for your grandmother's surgery?
You sound like a scammer. Good looking, charismatic, noble profession, but oh, look, your bank account is frozen and you can't access funds.
You must think we're all thick.

OP,

Please describe your ideal partner.

Who is ideal date?

I struggle to even find girls I like and my standards aren't that high 🚩🚩🚩

This reads like it's written by someone who doesn't much like women.

Have you tried speed dating? Are there any single female work colleagues you get along with? I find people who work in the medical field are more likely to have a relationship with someone else who works in medical as well. But if you stop trying so hard the right person will come along when you least expect it. My sister met her husband through some mutual friends.

Do you ask women on dates and they say no? Or do you never meet anyone you like?

I can't believe you've never matched with anyone on Internet dating if you're good looking and can write a sensible brief.

• a wider range of dating apps. Are you a particular religion? Ie if Muslim there are specific Muslim dating apps

No I'm spiritual

There is your answer 💀

😂😂

So... you are good looking and solvent.

It might surprise you to learn that although most women are not averse to those things, they are most definitely not at the top of the list when it comes to partner material. There is way more to compatibility than that.

Kindness, friendliness, liking each other's friends, a shared sense of humour, a similar background, liking the same sort of music, politeness, and ideally with much the same political and social views are just a few things off the top of my head.

@Topsyturvy78 Are there any single female work colleagues you get along with?

OP, don't do this. This is extremely likely to lead to problems and highly unlikely to lead to anything good.

@blacksax ideally with much the same political and social views are just a few things off the top of my head.

This one always comes up on mumsnet, but I can't think of anything more dull and boring than selecting a partner based on political views.

You've only been on two dates, so it's reasonable you've not liked either woman.

I believe the issue is more to do with why you, a good looking, educated, social 33yr old haven't been on more dates.
Are you actively trying to date?
Are your friends / family not trying to set you up? If no, why not?
Aren't you meeting people at work? Everyone at work seems to be bonking each other...
Doesn't anyone flash you a smile etc when you're out amd about?
...

When you have a conversation or chat to someone, do your sentences end with a rising inflection?
I mean do you sound as if your asking questions rather than making a statement?
For example:
"So I'm a Doctor?"
" I like ( insert favourite cuisine here) food?"
You claim your confident but ,if when you communicate with a woman and sound like your asking a question instead of making a statement, I'd think you were seeking approval.
And the only sexy Doctor is Gregory House.MD .
But I'm sure fellow MNs will fight me over that.

I can't think of anything worse than having entirely opposite political views, but there you go.

@selffellatingouroborosofhate I'm not even sure the OP did it, to be fair. But I have noticed it on this thread.

Political views in a polarised world of course it is relevant.
There are all sort of types and personalities in NYC.

I would agree with this.

Political views aren't the most important thing, but rather, someone's character and compassion.

You can have two people with polar opposite political views, but once you dig into why they have those opinions, you could find that both people hold those views with sincerity and positive intentions.

You sound almost too good to be true, good looking, charismatic, good job, interesting guy. Maybe some ladies are a little wary you could be a player. There's a saying "some things are worth waiting for" and whilst it's frustrating you've not met that person yet, I'm confident you will. Took me a while to find my lovely husband, married now 19 years and a family of our own. So don't give up hope. Good luck!

If you read your responses back you may get a clue. It seems you can’t identify a single flaw in yourself. This may be coming across as arrogance in real life?

OP, what exactly was wrong/missing in the any of the women who were interested in you that you did not wish to date?

You can't have dated them enough to know them all that well, so you must either know what sort of woman you are looking for, or some part of what you are not looking for and it would help to know that information.

You need to meet people in a normal fashion through things you enjoy. Try and make friends with people of both sexes.

Sure they can. But I wouldn't, for instance, have anything to do with someone who thinks that all poor people are the architects of their own misfortune.

I understand why you feel the way you do. It can be really hard to meet the right person. It is normal to feel like giving up sometimes. You sound great, really sociable and good fun. You're putting yourself out there and doing lots of different things and by the sounds of it living a full life and not letting being single hold you back. My advice is to keep doing that.
I know it can be hard to believe but it is very likely that you will meet someone. I was single for a long time apart from dates here and there and didn't meet the 'right' person until I was in my forties. Try not to overthink it.
I found this paragraph the other day and I think you'll find it useful for reflection. Good luck.

My husband and I were reminiscing yesterday that when we had our first date (we met through a mutual friend years before, but he found out I was single via Tinder) that he was very open at how he NEVER got matched with attractive professional women like me and seemed to attract people he couldn't see himself with at all that he just didn't find attractive.

It's not about being shallow, but the spark had to be there and as a handsome guy with a degree, who working finance and worked out a lot, no he didn't have something in common with a entry level HR person with no A-Levels who would probably pant from a brisk walk. I said on that first date, I had no idea why they didn't swipe and I was all the better for it. So sorry that's not great advice, maybe just focus on the main thing you find compatible? For us it just took us time to get there!!

He can cook, is hilarious, handsome and we workout together 3 times a week and go walking on weekends. Women are told to hold out until they meet the right man - so should you!