To want to f&£k this man?!

[ifeelsobad]

So I know it's a marriage problem. My DH is into kinky shit I just don't want in my life anymore. He's not pressuring me into anything cos well the kink is he likes to be dominated and then he also likes other stuff I don't want to go into it. The bottom line is I'm 43 and not had sex since August.

My friend's DH is being a bit flirty with me and the other day he came to pick something up from our house, DH was here they were chatting and then for a reason I won't say on here he asked for my number (to share a contact) and he asked for my number and put his head down like he knew he was crossing a line. I don't flirt with him. I actually act very loved up in front of him to my DH. But deep down I fancy the pants off this guy. He's married of course I'm married and it's dangerous territory I'm not going to enter. But I know I can sense he wants me too. I'm just putting this here to stop myself being a stupid idiot.

NO! It's clearly the start of a magical, fulfilling relationship, punctuated with life changing, breathtaking sex four times every day.

What they have is special. Otherwise, why would they have exchanged phone numbers??

The allure of this affair is a diversion. Your marriage is long over; you need to face it, get divorced, and start living the rest of your life. Then you can be with whoever you want.

Your not making sense

If all of these are his fantasies and turn ons then why do you feel like you cant shag his friend? Clearly your partner would be okay with it?

i used watsapp and developed good friendships with fellows, so its possible

@Livelovebehappy ok thank you. I'm not a troll. I really do act loved up with DH as in my heart that's what I want. Why people think I'm a troll when this is my life makes me feel worse.

Yep, I was with my ex for 20 years and he had a 4 year affair.i know which side I am on reading this.

most mumsnetters would never encourage an affair

@PlumHedgehog01 thank you for your support

Sometimes it's nice to have a fantasy. Just keep reminding yourself it's just a fantasy.

When I first started my current job, I had a couple of fantasies about new co-workers, even though I had no real interest in them and definitely no interest in cheating. It was just a nice day dream.

Just enjoy the daydream butterflies!

its because of what your saying about your "business and wanting or trying to avoid an affar"

that and some mumsnetters dont believe people have lifes like yours op its not cities of Hyacinth Buckets etc

@ThisQuickPlumFinch it's not his friend it's our friend.

Yes it's his fantasy but I don't think he actually wants me to go ahead and play it out as in fuck another man. He's not the type of man he wants me to fuck but as people are already saying I'm a troll I don't want to say to add fuel to fire.

@PlumHedgehog01 thanks. Yes this is my life. Plus two SN children. Which is why I stick with DH as we parent them well and I know no one else can give the kids what we give together.

Was your previous post about fisting him @ifeelsobad

@1smallhamsterfoot no he's never wanted that.

Is it really worth it?

Just tell yourself he'll be rubbish in the sack. A friend of mine did this and said it was all over in a minute and the guy left quickly. She felt awful. Her husband had become asexual but as far as I know they're still together. Plus the husband was very well off and she'd never had to work.

@YourChirpyFatball this is what I tell myself! Plus he's seen me in a swimsuit and I'm really not anything special so I also tell myself I'm being an idiot and he doesn't fancy me.

I think your friend's DH may be enjoying flirting with you, that doesn't mean he would blow up his marriage for sex with you and you are going to feel even worse about yourself if he turns you down.

If you split from your DH you are going to want support from friends and family, so don't alienate some by shagging their husbands.

Speak to your DH about what you want from your marriage. If you're incompatible end things as respectfully as possible. If you can't achieve a mutually satisfying sex life is that enough of a reason to split?

He probably doesnt considering your most likely a man with some sort of weird fetish

@QuickCHangeMyName I wish I was. I'm here crying as DH sleeping in spare room and I have poorly little one asleep next to me.

@Delphiniumandlupins yes more conversations to be had. DH is always so pre occupied with work is a big problem too.

"My husband has a fantasy about me fucking other men" " I want to fuck his friend but dont feel i can"

I suspect your the same poster who has just claimed she is 60 with a 5 year old 🤣

Sub/dom stuff my wife and I have no interest in or experience of, so I may be misunderstanding something basic, but how about you buy a few toys, then use them on yourself while he watches from the other side of the bed, but is not allowed to do anything?

That not only gives you a bit of sexual satisfaction, but also might get him interested in something which is not always about his own desires.

Or join a swingers’ club. There are a few around which are very respectful and non-seedy. Then you could explore your fantasies about sex with someone else, and he can see how he feels about that in reality. All in an entirely open and consensual environment. Works even better if you are bi or bi-curious.

But definitely don’t shag this friend’s husband. It’s insanity. And it would be a spectacularly horrible thing to do.

Despite what I wrote, I do really sympathise especially if you're in your prime. It's horrible to not have your needs met, both emotionally & physically. I hope you sort something out.

This is exactly what the Wank Bank is for, isn't it??
Make yourself a large deposit and withdraw it slowly 😆