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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To want to f&£k this man?!

175 replies

ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 22:45

So I know it's a marriage problem. My DH is into kinky shit I just don't want in my life anymore. He's not pressuring me into anything cos well the kink is he likes to be dominated and then he also likes other stuff I don't want to go into it. The bottom line is I'm 43 and not had sex since August.

My friend's DH is being a bit flirty with me and the other day he came to pick something up from our house, DH was here they were chatting and then for a reason I won't say on here he asked for my number (to share a contact) and he asked for my number and put his head down like he knew he was crossing a line. I don't flirt with him. I actually act very loved up in front of him to my DH. But deep down I fancy the pants off this guy. He's married of course I'm married and it's dangerous territory I'm not going to enter. But I know I can sense he wants me too. I'm just putting this here to stop myself being a stupid idiot.

OP posts:
TheOtherAgentJohnson · 05/01/2025 23:00

Ah just fuck him.

Original poster
ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 23:03

@TheOtherAgentJohnson thanks! I won't though of course I won't. Ffs.

OP posts:
Booooooooooo · 05/01/2025 23:05

I must admit after obliging my husband in his kinks which included pegging i lost all attraction to him sexually and was so horny for a 'masculin' straight man for just some traditional good old missionary rogering. I'm glad I didn't cheat, got a good vibrator instead and it has helped immensely. Those clit sucking toys are a service to women everywhere.

toomuchfaff · 05/01/2025 23:06

ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 22:59

I actually said this to my DH the other day. He said No and I asked again and he said No.

I'm not even sure I could go with someone else. This is all just ridiculous fantasy in my head.

Show quote history

And if you're brought it up twice, you really do risk hurting DH. I'd be mortified if my DH suggested this.

Thetigerdrankmywine · 05/01/2025 23:08

Is this the plot for some bollocks self- published porn?

Original poster
ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 23:09

@toomuchfaff but he's not having sex with me and tried a couple of times - he did get hard but said he was too tired and went to sleep and asked me to stop so I did.

OP posts:
Original poster
ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 23:09

Thetigerdrankmywine · 05/01/2025 23:08

Is this the plot for some bollocks self- published porn?

I wish it's my marriage and my life.

OP posts:
Original poster
ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 23:10

@Booooooooooo I have been punishing myself by not mastuebating thinking it's all my fault

OP posts:
FrogOnSpeed · 05/01/2025 23:12

Your friends DH?
Yep, good idea, go for it. What could possibly go wrong

toomuchfaff · 05/01/2025 23:14

ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 23:09

@toomuchfaff but he's not having sex with me and tried a couple of times - he did get hard but said he was too tired and went to sleep and asked me to stop so I did.

If the marriage is sound otherwise, I'd be trying to understand the cause of the "no sex" issue. Rather than fkin a friends husband.

HPandthelastwish · 05/01/2025 23:18

End the marriage.
Shag who you like - but preferably not your friends husband and DCs best friends Dad for a harmonious future.

However, it actually sounds like your DH would get off on it.

PlumHedgehog01 · 05/01/2025 23:18

ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 22:50

@Circumferences I don't know either I feel like an idiot posting it and bloody name changing for it. Of course I know no one is going to say go fuck this guy.

me, im different if you could live with the guilt and if you could cover up the affair then the choice is in your hands, weather you choose to take the gambit is another matter: heres a book

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Affair-How-Have-Your-Cake/dp/1843581450

Original poster
ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 23:18

@toomuchfaff it is - which is why I feel like an idiot. And my therapist also would say there is a lot to throw away. I should tell her about this stupid fantasy.

OP posts:
Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 05/01/2025 23:19

Going to go out on a limb here what's the odds that dh friend is a serial cheater that's spotted an opportunity?

LinnettdeBelleforte · 05/01/2025 23:19

Thetigerdrankmywine · 05/01/2025 23:08

Is this the plot for some bollocks self- published porn?

I strongly believe so.

PlumHedgehog01 · 05/01/2025 23:19

Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 05/01/2025 23:19

Going to go out on a limb here what's the odds that dh friend is a serial cheater that's spotted an opportunity?

certainly seems likely based on the evidence so far

Gone12 · 05/01/2025 23:20

Are you bored at the end of the school holidays @ifeelsobad ? You sound like a bored teenager fantasising about her friend's dad tbh.

CalicoPusscat · 05/01/2025 23:20

Just seems like you have an intense sexual crush

Poppyseeds79 · 05/01/2025 23:22

To be fair it sounds like sex has all got to be on your husband's terms, so it's not surprising you no longer feel sexually attracted to him if it's not floating your boat.

Surely if he's got an interest in cuckolding he can't be that dismissive of you wanting an open relationship though? Unless he's worried you'll leave him if you find someone to have sex with that you like?

As a male it'd probably be much harder for him to find a FWB, especially due to his D/s kinks. He could always enlist the services of a Domme though (I'm not advocating for him finding a sex worker btw). A professional Domme would not be having sex with him. Just supplying the stuff he's seeking without you having too...

Gone12 · 05/01/2025 23:23

If this is actually real and not a wind up thread, then go ahead if you must and shag him...but be prepared for the mega fallout.

I think you are reading too much into things especially as things aren't right with you and DH.

musicalfrog · 05/01/2025 23:23

Why is giving your number to your friends dh crossing a line?

Seriously underwhelming sexual tension right there.

Don't we all have numbers of our friends dhs in our phones? I know I do....

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 23:23

You know damn well that there's no mileage in this.

I would never put up with those 'kinks' - how the hell did you get yourself into this?! You need to end your marriage if you're not into the shit that he is.

Original poster
ifeelsobad · 05/01/2025 23:27

I met him young we are the same age.

I really wish this wasn't real. I posted many years ago under another name and people told me then to get out.

I come from quite a damaged background (SA when I was a child, SA at university) alcoholic dad who died young. I have though had a lot of therapy the last three years.

OP posts:
mnreader · 05/01/2025 23:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Devilcat · 05/01/2025 23:28

You’re sexually frustrated hes not meeting your needs you’ve spoken hes not answering. Do what you like to make yourself happy and bin him he doesn’t listen and never will 👍

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