Can't tell him about my work

[stopaskingme]

Just that really.
Been seeing a wonderful man for almost 6 months and I see potential in a future together. All is great on that front.
Issue is that I can't tell him exactly what I do for work. All I'm allowed to tell him is that I work for the Civil Service, and they steer the conversation on to something else.
At first he was ok with my Civil Service answers but lately he's been asking more about exactly where I'm based, a work address, emergency contact number and so on. I move around, no fixed work address and he has my family's contact details in the event of any emergency.
How do I get him to stop being so pushy about wanting to know the ins and outs of my work? I've politely asked him to respect my explanation that I'm a Civil Servant but he's like a dog with a bone!

Seeing as op hasn’t been back, should we all assume that 007 has been sacked for declaring she’s a civil servant on the internet?

You didn't know where each other actually worked for 27 years???

Surely you knew where they were going each day?

DH and I have been to each others offices and sites etc know colleagues etc.

Wellll, just imagine if this was a man going "oh I work in the civil service.... Can't tell you specifics...no can't tell you where I work, it what I do...nope nothing"

MN would be going "Red flag! He's having an affair! He's got a second family!"

I know nothing about my husband’s work other than he’s ‘civil service’. I respect him for his service and the fact he’s signed the Official Secrets Act. We never talk about his job other than who has wound him up 😂 so personalities not details! It’s always been this way and there’s a switchboard number for emergencies which I’ve used a handful of times when our children have had accidents etc.
OP you need a sensible conversation with him. I presume sure your employer gives you guidance?

I would just say I've been told I can't tell you anything and that's it. Tell him it bothers you he keeps asking and why does it matter.

I've no clue what my dh does tbh.
Something about going to a garage and cars.
He probably has told me to be fair. Probably several times.
😂

If you haven't already worked out why a 'new' boyfriend might be asking these questions, you're probably in the wrong job!

If the OP was working in such a secure and sensitive environment (she's not) she would be fully aware of the protocols.

Ooo sounds sus doesn't it?

So did I, in 1977! Still bound by it unto death although I don't work there now.

I did laugh the other week. Some bloke - not even the customer, but someone listening in - started to tell me I had to have sworn an oath in order to be a public servant, and when I asked what he was talking about he told the customer that I was obviously just an agency worker and they could ignore everything I told them . Some people are really peculiar. And deluded. He also said I had to tell them my name because it was the law. I said which law? He said THE law. Riiiiight...

Oops, now I've told you public sector stuff. If you read this thread, please DM me your name and current address. My colleagues will be round in due course to tie up loose ends. 💀

Call me crazy, but I don’t see red flags. I’d be asking similar questions re someone’s job. I asked my now DH about his job and he swerved all questions but I persisted, I mean, I was interested. He just knew it was a job nobody had ever heard of and would possibly find boring (law cost draughtsman). I’d consider it odd unless I was told it’s not open to discussion/think MI6 etc.

You must have been given a cover story. 😳I remember when I looked at applying for an admin job with the civil service it mentioned within the full job details that we could only ever tell people we worked for the "foreign office".

I don’t think it’s that weird to want to know how to contact your work in an emergency, eg DH and I have numbers for each other’s line managers, but six months seems early for that

Blimey I've been married over 25 year and we don't! If something happened to DH I'd have to call his work switchboard and vice versa.

Home and foreign office employees (I worked with a home office employee on secondment to our department) they generally don’t say what they do unless within their organisation though I did know some foreign office staff who’d say briefly or not giving away much, what they did. Enough so you didn’t ask more.

Bullshit ⬇️ button

Dh wouldn’t even be able to call a switchboard at my place, they’ve done away with the phones! Everything is by email or teams.

If something happened to you, would his employer know to contact you?

There’s a load of rubbish on this thread about ‘signing the Official Secrets Act(s).’

Whilst attention may be drawn to the provisions and an NDA is often signed, ‘signing the OSA’ is no more necessary then signing the Road Traffic Act after one passes the driving test. 🙄

When summoned for speeding, saying, “Aha! but I never signed the Road Traffic Act so you can’t touch me’ is unlikely to be a successful defence posture.

I believe at MI5, the introductory session does recommend that you always consult MN for cover stories, excuses for missing weddings and details to feed to Hostile Nations.

😂

Disappeared?.....😎

That's exactly what I assumed she meant!

Haha! Now imagining a nervous FSB agent trying to explain to Vladimir Putin what "cocklodger" means.

😂

TBF Russia should LTB.