Can't tell him about my work

[stopaskingme]

Just that really.
Been seeing a wonderful man for almost 6 months and I see potential in a future together. All is great on that front.
Issue is that I can't tell him exactly what I do for work. All I'm allowed to tell him is that I work for the Civil Service, and they steer the conversation on to something else.
At first he was ok with my Civil Service answers but lately he's been asking more about exactly where I'm based, a work address, emergency contact number and so on. I move around, no fixed work address and he has my family's contact details in the event of any emergency.
How do I get him to stop being so pushy about wanting to know the ins and outs of my work? I've politely asked him to respect my explanation that I'm a Civil Servant but he's like a dog with a bone!

Unfortunately this raises the red flag for him having higher level clearance at a security organisation and therefore needing to scope you out in an enhanced way.

Well yes and they all have a cover story, being vague arouses suspicion immediately.

Anyone bound by the OSA knows well how to operate.

This is an utter bullshit post, so many in mumsnet

Entirely off-topic comment, but we had friends from the Netherlands to stay and one of the first questions they asked on arrival was 'What does 'adverse camber' mean?'. I've always liked that term.

Someone I met years ago was a civil servant, but would not say more.did not have high level skills or anything. Turned out they were working for the child maintenance service, which had a very anonymous office in the town.
Saw her coming out one day and knew what the building was. It was all secret in an attempt to protect staff from protests or attacks from fathers for justice and the like. So very boring admin not a spy, but sensible to keep it a bit quiet. There must be many similar government jobs.

Oh no! You've blown my cover!

If your work is that high falutin and sensitive I’m sure you must be able to work out such a dilemma for yourself. I cant imagine James Bond being flummixed in the same situation.

This is all that you are supposed to say. My partner just started work as a civil servant, fairly low level and definitely not undercover, but in training they were told that he should only tell people he is a civil servant and not what dept he works for or any other details.

He did used to go to Iran on business trips 20 odd years ago but they were told to stop going! 🤣. By the American security services! And he has two passports, one for America and one for the Middle East.

HRTFT. Tell your immediate superior, problem solved and you know it...That NFA doesn't happen to be under a bridge, does it?

Does he have a british passport?

that is quite a combo. American and middle east

The husband of a dear friend worked as an artificial inseminator of cattle, but as this work was administered by the Min of Ag, he preferred to say that he was a civil servant!

Horse? Wet dog? No, it's bull shit. No wonder OP hasn't come back.

really? sorry love, he is a spy.

If you’ve got such a high profile secretive role in the civil service, surely they have provided you with a cover story to share with friends and family

Or do you work high up in one of those departments that have a culture for screwing people over. I’m thinking education send or pip assessments

They’re both British passports, you’re allowed more than one. American are funny about letting you in if you have too many Middle East stamps. He’s not a spy, he travels the world trouble shooting turbine problems.

Why does he need to know so much after only six months? He's not that wonderful if he's hounding you and won't accept or respect that you can't give further information.

I have family members who have CS jobs. One I know what he does the other not.

If he lives with you or is at your house frequently he will be secruity checked. It will have happened. You know the rules around undesirables.

He should stop pushing and unless he lives with you no one needs emergency contact numbers. It's a bit weird and not very gentleman like.

he can’t say he works for the DWP?
he can’t say he works for planning department?
he can’t say he works for environmental services?

Oh come off it!

they’re both british passports?

come again?

He has an american passport and he has a middle east passport

but they are also both british passports?

Yes my DH had the same two passport for the same reasons when he worked in the oil industry. As you say you are allowed more than one.

If you truly have to be undercover then you would surely be trained on how to handle this. I would simply invent a cover easy enough if you stick to the same story.

He uses one passport to go to the US, and a different one to go to the Middle East. Both British passports.

she means he had two British passports. One he used exclusively for travelling to Middle East countries. The other for the US and presumably other western countries.