Guy asked me my religion within 15 mins of first date! Bin him?

[LaBrasseria2024]

Hi all,

Dipped my toe in OLD about a year ago. It's been a year lol. 32 female.

I went on a date with a guy a few weeks back.

Perhaps my post would be better in Craicnet (I'm N.I)

The guy asked me within 15 mins of the date if I was a particular religion ( his religion) obviously hoping that I was.

I just think it's a bit rude and a touchy subject in N.I, especially one a first date.

I wouldn't dream of asking someone this as I don't feel it's appropriate and it doesn't matter to me. I wasn't brought up like that!

I brushed it under the carpet as I wouldn't want an argument on the first date. Apart from that we got on and I found other things he said very funny.

We have texted quite a bit since, second date arranged, but I had to cancel due to being sick.

But it has played on my mind he felt it okay to ask me this. He is a 35 year old man and should know better, ffs!

Am I being oversensitive? Or should I throw this one back?

Northern Ireland, the place where every normal question actually isn't!

Clearly you're religious. This man claims not to be, so how does it matter one jot which community the OP comes from?

Maybe switch on your brain before commenting.

Are you in the UK?!

https://www.britannica.com/event/The-Troubles-Northern-Ireland-history

@user1492757084 - this man stated to me clearly he is not at all religious! Not at all. He is not a church goer and does not follow/practice religion. Therefore, his reason for asking was to be sectarian, that is all.

I have never heard of this and that is rather offensive.

NI woman in a mixed marriage here. I’d ditch this one. He’s obviously stuck in the past if that’s something he cares about to bring up on a first date.

No

Seems a very wise thing to ask, especially if you come from somewhere this stuff actually matters, has history, etc.

He may know a difference would cause grief with family and friends and is being sensible to go in with eyes open.

@Neighbours87 - exactly. I care about the person and what they are like. Not their religion. He is only 35, yet has such a bitter attitude. I sort of feel like what would be the point as I clearly would be seen as an 'outsider' so his friends/family!

Ok good to know thank you

Yeah tactless completely, slightly thick to not find out through other, less obvious questions as others have mentioned. But if everything else about the date was good and lack of tact was the only issue, I would be more likely to give the benefit of the doubt

Not a chance I would go on a second date.

So many bigot undertones to ask so directly. He knows your name, where you live - if making sectarian jokes about it and trying to bring attention to it, he clearly cares what you are. Here would lie my problem.

He could have asked what school you went to if he wanted to be discrete. Or where you kept your toaster!

Where are you from and roughly how old are you?

Op, this question/thread is not going to get any relevant answers from non Northern Irish people, I'm afraid.

You don't care about religion/community - he does.

You know that because he asked you what community you're from and also made a comment about your area (in terms of community).

You two are therefore not compatible.

It's a pity but ..... What can you do.

Unfortunately this is common here. There are few truly indifferent/open minded/neutral people. However they exist, so .... I hope you meet one.

Also, my background is having both sets of grandparents who were Irish Catholic/Protestant marriages. Each couple decided on a church and remained commited and active in that. For them, there was no animosity from family. They were Irish people who lived not in Northern Ireland though.
So I'm from active Christian families and I wanted a Christian marriage with someone who wanted the same.

Yes, bin him @LaBrasseria2024. No one needs that shite in their lives.

It's bred into some people unfortunately, right down the generations. They can't even rationalise it. Some folks never leave the community they grew up in and never broaden their minds.

@user1492757084 - you really don't get it. He is not a church goer, he is not religious! He doesn't want a Christian marriage, because he doesn't want to go to church or be religious. He is just being bitter.

Genuinely surprised he is up for meeting again tbh, I have met a few people like this since I moved home a few years ago including a man who I had an ongoing close friendship with but some of the stuff he came out with when pissed was eye opening to me and he was also a young man.

His family are probably like this too op; best to swerve him.

Ah now, I am a disgrace to my perceived background as I don't keep my toaster where I am supposed to!! 😂

@ForFunAmberDeer - yea I don't get it either. I said to him ' why does it matter' and he was like 'oh no no' etc. has been texting me a lot since, and had booked us dinner on Friday night! I cancelled due to not being well, but yes don't get why he is doing that when he clearly has a problem with what I am!

So was he Protestant or Catholic? 🙈😆😊