Guy asked me my religion within 15 mins of first date! Bin him?

[LaBrasseria2024]

Hi all,

Dipped my toe in OLD about a year ago. It's been a year lol. 32 female.

I went on a date with a guy a few weeks back.

Perhaps my post would be better in Craicnet (I'm N.I)

The guy asked me within 15 mins of the date if I was a particular religion ( his religion) obviously hoping that I was.

I just think it's a bit rude and a touchy subject in N.I, especially one a first date.

I wouldn't dream of asking someone this as I don't feel it's appropriate and it doesn't matter to me. I wasn't brought up like that!

I brushed it under the carpet as I wouldn't want an argument on the first date. Apart from that we got on and I found other things he said very funny.

We have texted quite a bit since, second date arranged, but I had to cancel due to being sick.

But it has played on my mind he felt it okay to ask me this. He is a 35 year old man and should know better, ffs!

Am I being oversensitive? Or should I throw this one back?

Just hit the 'report' button.

Those posts are disgusting.

On the bottom of the posts u can click on report

Perfectly fine question.
My religion is a significant part of my life and I would like a partner who will enjoy that with me.
I would not waste time getting to know a partner of a different religion.
I have friends of all religions, I respect all religions but if I am hunting for my life partner, it is an important factor.
Not rude but sensible.

I’m surprised how dense people are being on this thread.

Im not from NI but of course I understand what kind of person asks if you’re Catholic or Protestant. Do people live under rocks?

he’s not for you OP.

I mean if I tell someone in NI that I'm Jewish (which I am) they'll still subtly try and work out whether I'm a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew, because it's about sides, not about whether your date would be ok with his kids being baptised or going to Sunday school.

Good point. There's a million ways to ascertain someone's background without flat out asking them so OP's date does sound a bit thick!

I don't know why it's important to have the same religious background? Plenty of couples have different ones and are very happy together?

I would just say I'm an atheist but then they ask if you're a Protestant or a Catholic atheist 😀

Yeah this 😂 many if not the majority of the most bigoted “Protestants” and “catholics” I knew in Glasgow were proud atheists. It’s bonkers.

You're an ignorant twat

In NI, such a question isn’t about faith-based beliefs.

@ThatWarmQuoter - post reported. Can others please report This idiot as I'm not 100% sure I did it right, didn't get a notification or anything

But in the NI context it has more to do with sectarianism than actual religious belief. OP even said he's not religious but obviously needs to know which 'side' she's from before he can decide whether or not to continue seeing her.

You said he asked if he was such and such religion (his religion) then said he’s not religious?

It doesn't always come through straight away.

@IAm16StoneHalloween2024 - he asked if I was the same religion as him! Despite not being religious! It's about being sectarian!

Reported them about 10 minutes ago following the 'silly murals' comment.

Im not from NI but I’m quite amazed at how many think it’s a normal question to ask on a first date - I don’t think in my nearly 60 years are on the planet, I’ve ever had a date mention religion. Other than 1 friend (because we had the discussion about her sons school) I don’t have the faintest idea what religion any of my friends are either.

I can’t imagine ever asking a dare that question and I think I’d laugh if someone asked me

I totally agree with people saying he seems thick, but the funny thing is he is quite clever academically and has a good job, but clearly no tact lol

Sometimes it's so deeply ingrained in even apparently intelligent people that they just can't seem to help themselves.

NI here and this question wouldn’t bother me - there are a lot of differences in the dominant cultures and on both sides a lot of people come from backgrounds that have experienced significant hurt. It isn’t bigoted/sectarian to not want to spend time getting to know someone who, long term, has beliefs that you aren’t able to respect.

Times may have changed but realistically if you have someone who leans strongly on either side it’s not just someone atheist going out with a Christian for example, it encompasses religious beliefs, politics and personal history.

You’ll find someone from here that isn’t bothered either way op and that sounds like it’s what you’re looking for. But it’s also okay for other people to care significantly about our history. Good luck, I hope you have better luck with the next one :)

Yes, true.
I like to go to church with my partner, participate in social church functions, go on committees, have my children baptised and sing in the choir. It would be lonely in my marriage if I did this by myself. It is very joyful to have a partner who accompanies me, shares the same friends, and activities.
We support each other in our spiritual life rather than feeling resentful for time spent away from each other.

It also saves my partner from having long hours of their life where I am not available. It is thinking about their life quatlity too. Who am I going to be a great partner for?
I am merely being honest about an important part of my being and searching for a person with shared spiritual beliefs.
Others, I appreciate, have differing views about what role religion will have in their lives.

Some people still do not mix and have no idea how to socially interact with the other side

Where is NI? Alsothis thread is weird like it is a normal question but apparently not?

Oh 100% but it's a very unsophisticated way to find out, just coming straight out with it. And if you will only consider one side of the house you'd surely try to establish that before you arrange and go on a date with them??

What a repellent comment. You should be ashamed of yourself.

OP, you’re quite right. I’d assume someone unusually crass or stupid to ask right out 15 minutes into a first date. It’s not like you can’t work it out quite easily.