I want men to approach me, what do I need to do?

[Thehighcostofloving]

I feel like men are a bit scared to approach women, because of how this can be problematic and women say they don’t like it. BUT I am a newly single woman who has not had a lot of attention recently and I really want to be approached by men who have an interest in having either sex or a relationship. I’m working on making myself more attractive with exercise, clothes and haircuts, but what other signals can I send out to get approached by men? I don’t like high heels, so that’s not going to happen (I also think if I wore heels I might tip
over into the “is she an escort?”
category). I’d like to be approached in person, not online. I’m trying to get out there, but obviously people are rightly paranoid about being inappropriate, as am I, hence why I want to be approached myself rather than the other way around.

Heels don't make you an escort.

Exercise, clothes and haircuts won't be the golden ticket to getting approached either.

I'm not sure why anything you've said means you can't be the person to do the approaching?

Or alternatively you could approach the men that you like / are attracted to instead.

Plus you might then also get to choose what you want rather than choosing between what you are given.

Blimey, that sounds very weird. Are you a woman, OP? I have never heard women say they want to be approached by men. What is it that makes you think men are scared to approach women, when women of all ages have experience of men pestering them at times?

I think you just need to be friendly - smile, and make casual conversation if the opportunity arises - and see if you get a response.

It’s not about the costume, it’s about eye contact and flirting. Tiny little actions you do to see if you get a tiny little action back. Signals!

Um, make eye contact, smile, talk to them?
If you want the type of man that will approach a random woman hoping for sex when she is just minding her own business and not even looking at them or expressing any interest then good luck to you but I question your methods if you want a decent man for a ltr relationship.

Just be friendly and open.

Do some approaching yourself.

Flirt.

Eye contact and smile

Getting approached by men is a piece of piss.

Getting approached by men who are not terrifying, disgusting or insane is a lot harder.

Thanks. I’m well aware that I don’t have the first clue about how to cultivate a healthy relationship. I’m also of the age where most men in seem to be married with children. My own relationship didn’t work out, and that was not a healthy or balanced relationship and was not from the very beginning. I’m so clueless about this stuff because i got into the relationship far too young.

I have tried the eye contact thing with conversation, misread someone who was just being nice as interested in me and made a fool of myself. I’m scared to repeat that. I also don’t know where to meet men in an appropriate setting. Work is problematic for obvious reasons.

I think I’m neurodivergent too, so that’s probably why my writing style seems unusual. And maybe why I misread “signals” and am looking for cheat methods…

Do some activities where you'll meet men eg cycling or park run. Make eye contact and smile with someone you're interested in. Turn the conversation to a film you want to see or a bar you like and see how it goes. Meetup.com should have things going on locally.

Smile. Be friendly. If you look friendly men are much more likely to approach than if you look attractive, but aloof.

Men, generally, are not afraid of approaching women. I know that all too often those most confident to approach you are the frightening, pushy ones you don't want.

Ime, all you need to do for men to approach you is quietly exist enjoying your own space and time with your girlfriends/family.

Maybe do "speed dating" or attend singles events if any local to you, as you're all supposed to be there for the same reason, which at least cuts out some of the risk of misreading?

Did OLD not work out for you?

Confidence! Smile! Should be the only tools you need if you're well kept x

I think I’m neurodivergent too, so that’s probably why my writing style seems unusual. And maybe why I misread “signals” and am looking for cheat methods…

I assumed so. And there aren't cheats for this. Flirting is really nuanced and I'm not sure if you have the nuance to flirt while avoiding arseholes.

Why not online? I feel like it's slightly easier to know someone wants to be in a relationship than in RL.

😂😂

Speed dating sounds like a good idea. I could probably find something like that after work.

I feel sick at the idea of OLD. Partially it’s the advertising of myself with pictures and a description. It feels so fake. I also want chemistry. I tend to be attracted to people in person rather than someone who just looks attractive in photos. I don’t like the “conventionally attractive” people usually. Personality and the way they move is more important.

I actually already do that, it’s funny you mention this, I came up with the idea when I was in an excitable phase after breaking up with my ex.

You don’t really want men to approach you for sex op?

it’s one thing to want to meet men, maybe go on dates, maybe form a relationship, and sure sex can be part of either, but I have never met a woman who says she wants random men to approach her for sex.

how would that even work in your mind?