I want men to approach me, what do I need to do?

[Thehighcostofloving]

I feel like men are a bit scared to approach women, because of how this can be problematic and women say they don’t like it. BUT I am a newly single woman who has not had a lot of attention recently and I really want to be approached by men who have an interest in having either sex or a relationship. I’m working on making myself more attractive with exercise, clothes and haircuts, but what other signals can I send out to get approached by men? I don’t like high heels, so that’s not going to happen (I also think if I wore heels I might tip
over into the “is she an escort?”
category). I’d like to be approached in person, not online. I’m trying to get out there, but obviously people are rightly paranoid about being inappropriate, as am I, hence why I want to be approached myself rather than the other way around.

The strange men that approach are normally creeps or worse tbh, id be literally running if they tried, I'd make the effort to form friendships around men that you know are safe, such as through work, friends, hobbies then a relationship can happen from there or go online and be very choosy.

FFS, Keith, the fact some men have a fetish for feet is not a reason for the OP to get a pedicure! Most women would run a mile from a foot fetishist.

You've clearly missed Keith's sensual banana eating, pen sucking etc suggestions.

And the fact that feminist harridans and the me too "brigade" have ruined things.

Op, if you're serious.

Most men will not "cold approach".

Unless in a club/bar situation.

Even then, many will not cold approach.

You need to go to events, hobbies etc where men frequent and get chatting casually and it may progress from there.

I think I am dealing with some trauma, and also a very long term relationship where sex wasn’t occurring much and never did much.. my mind is wondering who else is in a relationship where the sex isn’t good and if they might be interested. Also, having been in something for so long I have not much of a desire to commit (for someone I had genuine feelings for I would, but that is rare) and so to have one off, no strings sex with a man who I find charming and attractive would be fun.

Just look at one. Most men, if give them any sort of attention, immediately think you want to get in their pants.

I dont even talk to men anymore, if I engage in conversation to be polite most seem to think I must then fancy them 🤦‍♀️

What a weird post. Nobody but nobody looks at a woman in heels and thinks "escort". Bloody hell.

Despite being a feminist, I’m finding your suggestions really helpful. Men think differently about sex, and to understand a little bit about the other side is a good strategy for me, especially as I am a bit socially awkward so need it spelling out for me I guess.

So, keep these helpful suggestions coming, thanks!

probably cant even say hello to a woman without getting your face slapped.

YOU can't. There's a reason for that. Attractive men still can.

@Thehighcostofloving if I'm reading this right, you want tips on how to attract men in a relationship, to have no strings sex with you.

Yeah, no.

@KeithLard is at least giving us all a laugh!

Knee trembler for who?

Isn't there a website called Feeld for this sort of thing?

Have you had Counseling before moving on to a new relationship?

No tips sorry .

Lol.

What the "men can't approach women without fearing harassment or assault because of me too and nasty feminists" types miss is that some men - with good interpersonal skills - have always and are still been able to pull without any fear of that.

Nothing's changed for them. They can flirt and guage interest without sexual harassment or assault claims.

They're taking the piss.

You’ve not met me. When I used to dress in slightly suggestive clothes (even flat knee high boots) I used to get men telling me they thought I might be a prostitute! I just have that look, I guess. It might be the way I walk with swinging my hips.

I have tried the eye contact thing with conversation, misread someone who was just being nice as interested in me and made a fool of myself. I’m scared to repeat that.

Admittedly, I haven't dated since before internet dating was a thing, but this the risk we had as men constantly. If I'd stopped doing it because I was scared of a repeat, I'd have never gone out with anyone!

I'd imagine it's even worse now, because women use apps to meet people, so don't want to be approached in real life. So if you're not interested in the app, then you're going to have to suck it up, take the initiative and start conversations. Rejection will be part of that unfortunately.

OP no, you do not need to suggestively eat a banana in public, @KeithLard is openly taking the piss but you've not picked that up.

You also sound like you want to shag someone who isn't getting sex in their own relationship, which is a tricky path to walk if understanding nuance isn't your special skill, maybe start with someone single before you move onto someone's partner?

Just hunting for men to have sex with is really quite risky behaviour. You'd be better off with a trip to Ann Summers or the Love Honey website to sort yourself out.

Do you actually know how to have a healthy relationship? That needs to be your first step before you get yourself in a dangerous situation.

Then, you need to go to hobbies and meet men doing something you both enjoy whatever that maybe and get to know them.

I've only ever read of them but supposedly there are 'parties' you can go to just for a physical relationship if that's what you want. I'd have to be pretty desperate to seek one of those out though I can't think of anything worse.

I've always found many men to be the weirdest mixture of type A and type B;

Type A - you look at them for any amount of time or catch their eye or converse civilly with them or be polite ...... They instantly think you want to shag them, have their kids a d marry them.

Type B - (minority) you could be on top of them in underwear and they're still wondering what you want and doubting you fancy them.

Then there are a few who can guage things reasonably accurately.