Cheating help - do I tell her again?

[Mamaofone20232023]

So I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months, we talk everyday, see eachother sporadically and he’s told me he’s single, turns out, I don’t think he is?
my friend messaged his girlfriend on Facebook ( profile picture with them together) and said I think your boyfriends cheating, she then deleted her Facebook.

He still swears he’s single and that it’s over between them two but they’re still living together.. he’s still seeing me on a regular basis, we message everyday but his texts die down after work and on weekends - I believe they’re still together, do I let her know again that he’s still cheating?

Thank you. My question was do I speak to the ‘ex’ the ‘girlfriend’ whatever she is to find out if they are actually separated. I know they live in the same house, they own it together he’s said it’s complicated as they both cannot afford to move on separately yet and it’s a no go for him living with me as he’s never met my son

”’More fool her” ???
For believing his lies?
Like you did?

He's not single

That's the oldest line in the book! Please open your eyes and see what he's doing to you.

Yes that did make me roll my eyes

‘more fool her’ says the OP who doesn’t know if she’s the OW or not (though I suspect she does know)

He's cheating on you.

She's perfectly happy. He's not going to leave her.

@Mamaofone20232023
I think you need to know either way.

It could risk pissing him off, tho it's quite easy going of you to carry out a relationship with someone giving you that story.

If he gets pissed with you asking, he's not for you.

Good luck x

It’s the same shit they all come out with - we’re separated but still live together, it’s complicated, together for the kids, we don’t have sex etc etc etc

so to be clear, you want keep contacting this woman to keep telling her and then what?

Either leave him alone and build your self esteem outside of male attention and move on from the love bombing OR be happy being the bit on the side.

But harassing this woman when it's quite obvious you have not a single good intention towards her is wrong. Don't ask us to validate what you know is bad behaviour and frankly quite nasty.

Leave that poor woman alone.

i was cheated on by my ex, I stayed. He cheated again, I stayed by the third I left and I always told myself ‘more fool you’ for staying after the first and second. Hence why I said the line

THAT. is exactly the ballpark straight to point message I needed to see and hear. Thank you for that it was needed.

I’ve never had this before hence why I don’t know where the ground lays, I’ve never been ‘the other woman’ I’ve had it done to me and it wasn’t nice and I stayed, I stayed twice on the third I left and that’s why I didn’t know whether to speak to the woman as I needed that push but no you’re right, I get the same shit

You’re so right… god what have I got myself into. Need to put on my big girl pants and be the one to leave. Suppose I’m leaving nothing but I need to leave.

I’ve been the OW and the messages stopped (mostly) in the evening and weekends. Biggest sign out there that he is actually not available.

This feels so grubby to me.

if I was single I would rather remain so than have a scenario like this in my life. You know the answer already, if be wanted to be completely committed to you then be would make that happen but he hasn’t done so. Please allow yourself better, you are not his priority.

sounds like you’re headed for heartbreak.

If you’re not sure whether you believe him or not, then yes I’d ask his ‘ex’ girlfriend. It’s highly unlikely that they have really split up, but if they genuinely have, be prepared for your ‘boyfriend’ to loose trust in you because you went behind his back to ask his ex.

Personally I’d engineer a time to go to his house, preferably while she’s there. If he won’t let you go round, they’re probably still together.

So why's he's so busy evenings and weekends ? Come on surely you can answer that one yourself ? He's till with her and using you.
Ask her then you will have your answer no one in here knows

Thank you. With all the messages I am getting everyone is telling me not to tell her and to just leave them alone but he’s told me he loves me and to hear that when you’re alone means something.

i need to have a good think about it, you’re right if he’s pissed at me for asking he’s not right for me.

The sad thing is I was so happy on my own, then he walked into my life and sweeped me off my feet and I’ve forgotten what life was like before him..
thank you for your message, I’m not his priority and hearing it from someone who only has a short snippet of things happening is a reality check I needed.
i think I need to just have my heart broken and move on

Whenever I’ve asked he just says he has ‘alot going on’

god when I read it all back when I’m typing to complete strangers it’s like a kick in the teeth.

That is a very good point, I do know where he lives but he’s never invited me round it’s only ever been at my home. Perhaps I can raise the question of me going round to see him and then see if there is any excuses

How did you deal with being the other woman? Did you know? Suspect? How did you end it ( if you did)?

A lot going on like what ? Ask him why he's so busy ?
You need an answer to all this, I'd just message her and ask if they are still
Together either way you will know, I couldn't carry on second guessing.
A lot of men are serial liars like truly believe that and just tell you want you want to hear.

So… you would carry on seeing him if she stayed with him, because it would serve her right? Have you got much relationship experience? Do you really think this sort of tawdry stuff is a good basis for a lasting partnership? Have some self respect, really.

The only issue with me asking is she deleted her social media when my friend messaged her the first time ( I didn’t know she was messaging her) she never replied just deleted. So there isn’t actually a way of asking other than messaging a family member of hers as I don’t have her number.