He’s cheating! Caught him out shocked!

[Stunnershaz]

Hi everyone this is my first post so please be easy with me. I’ve been married for 20 years to dh and have 5 beautiful kids. Our relationship like everyone else had its ups and downs yet we stuck together through it all. If u ask if im happy I would say im secure and now made this life which is fine. Last few years have been tough as seeing changes with dh for example not answering my calls, staying out late and just generally not giving me much attention. Our sex life doesn’t exsist which doesn’t bother him and to be fair I didn’t make a big deal due to him feeling embarrassed about his ed.
I had been having a feeling he might be cheating but I tried ignore this and try carry on with our lives. He’s very protective and feel like he would question everything to me but I’m very laid back and just let him be which could be my fault.
last week I don’t know what made me do this but I seen his Snapchat pop up a few times and he just kinda ignore it and turned phone over which I found weird. I went and made a fake account and added him to it( what was I thinking) I don’t even know why I did it but the feeling just kept coming to do this. Anyway after a few hours he added me and said hello. I said hello back and he asked me where I was from so I kinda just went with it and made up a character. He then asked me for a picture and he sent his picture straight away. I asked if he was seeing anyone and he said no he’s divorce with no kids!!!! Wtf!!! I was shaking and just logged out. He came home from work like normal and I just carried on like normal. I don’t know what do with this information? I can’t confront him as I’m terrified about breaking up my family yet I can’t go on like this knowing he is doing this crap. He’s sent a message today saying let’s meet up wtf! I’m such a mug! I don’t even have the balls to confront him as he will turn this on me

Told my mum come tomorow as I think I need tell her what’s going on

Drag this out as long as you are able to and in the meantime stash as much cash as you possibly can into your own account - even invent replacing expensive things to get more money from him. retrieve all birth certificates, passports etc for yourself and the children and screenshot all his incriminating messages too.

Try to carry on as normal for as long as possible to accumulate as much as possible and then arrange to meet him.

You are worth more than this berk.......Hold your nerve, stay strong and walk away.

I’ve just got out some paperwork and hid them so I won’t need to worry when it comes to picking them up.

My mum isn’t a big fan of him. I’ve just rang her and said why don’t u come over tomorow and she straight away said what’s he done and I said nothing just coming down with something and bless her she said I understand I was waiting for this call. Il be there tomorow. It’s like she knew x

@Stunnershaz have read whole thread, just your comments. looks like you are married and if in UK you are entitled to share of house, saving and pension. go for it all!! then go for cms if in england.

Don't pack for him or help him with clean clothes or anything. Use this weekend to get organised.

It’s for February hun,

His golf stuff we’re getting delivered next week too! Just wanted to show him that appreciated him too

Id not meet him, id be walking past as he is waiting....

the fucker

and bump into him

what are you doing here? Thought you were busy with work....

You should tell him to leave. Have your mum there.

You have done nothing wrong.

The house is not just his, it's YOURS too. It doesn't matter whose name its in, the court sees you as equal.

Can you get your money back and then give him a different ‘surprise’ trip that in the end you will end up doing instead?

Cancel it. Get your money back.

Just seeing if I can get it canceled

You’re welcome. You need to think of yourself and protect yourself. 🌹🌻🌺

The club will ask why im cancelling it

I would get my ducks in a row, make sure I have bank/investments/pension statements all other certifications. Then keep the conversation going and arrange to meet. Then take a friend or sibling and enjoy his reaction when him not to bother coming home.

"Family reasons".

Could you say you are worried about finances? Or say you’ve decided to book a family trip for next year instead. Or does he know about it? If he knows about it then it might be better to leave it. Otherwise book a different trip for his gift, book it all in your name and then you take the trip without him when the time comes.

DON'T follow this advice. (Not yet, anyway). He's already well versed at the deceit and hiding things from you @Stunnershaz & this would simply be giving him a head's-up that he's been found out or is about to be.... so he'll rapidly destroy evidence, prepare stories, hide assets, and be even more prepared than you.
As difficult as it may be you NEED to use this window whilst he doesn't realise you're wise him to yet, in order to get your ducks in a row...get some legal advice NOW as the week nearing Christmas will have less professionals available.
Let that expertise guide you on imminent safeguards to take, & where you stand re house, car, teens, etc, and what info/docs you should be compiling, before he hinders your efforts.
X

He has no idea.

Good idea x

A trend I’ve noticed on MN is that the men that play golf are usually the biggest pricks!

Maybe there must be a pattern hun lol they need shove the golf clubs up their arse

Yes. I agree. She is in the most powerful position she will be in while he doesn’t know she knows. She can get her ducks in a row and prepare to leave with the scales tipped in her favour and safely.

I've noticed similar in real life 😂⛳🍆