He’s cheating! Caught him out shocked!

[Stunnershaz]

Hi everyone this is my first post so please be easy with me. I’ve been married for 20 years to dh and have 5 beautiful kids. Our relationship like everyone else had its ups and downs yet we stuck together through it all. If u ask if im happy I would say im secure and now made this life which is fine. Last few years have been tough as seeing changes with dh for example not answering my calls, staying out late and just generally not giving me much attention. Our sex life doesn’t exsist which doesn’t bother him and to be fair I didn’t make a big deal due to him feeling embarrassed about his ed.
I had been having a feeling he might be cheating but I tried ignore this and try carry on with our lives. He’s very protective and feel like he would question everything to me but I’m very laid back and just let him be which could be my fault.
last week I don’t know what made me do this but I seen his Snapchat pop up a few times and he just kinda ignore it and turned phone over which I found weird. I went and made a fake account and added him to it( what was I thinking) I don’t even know why I did it but the feeling just kept coming to do this. Anyway after a few hours he added me and said hello. I said hello back and he asked me where I was from so I kinda just went with it and made up a character. He then asked me for a picture and he sent his picture straight away. I asked if he was seeing anyone and he said no he’s divorce with no kids!!!! Wtf!!! I was shaking and just logged out. He came home from work like normal and I just carried on like normal. I don’t know what do with this information? I can’t confront him as I’m terrified about breaking up my family yet I can’t go on like this knowing he is doing this crap. He’s sent a message today saying let’s meet up wtf! I’m such a mug! I don’t even have the balls to confront him as he will turn this on me

He’s been physically abusive in the past. She’s worried.

Nothing tonight.
Honestly if it comes to it gets. Spare phone and a temp sim and use that.

wait untill next week and get back on touch

Sorry he’s home now, came to room check up
on me and asked if I wanted eat I said no. He said I looked terrible as I had a cry before and I just said it’s probably the weather and cold and just feeling like crap. He said he will be going to his mum in a bit drop of the gifts. Acting normal. He’s had a rant about the 3 dishes left in sink wow! He said why ain’t they done I said I’m ill. Inside I was like you prick

Snapchat is linked to your phone number, so he could see that the account is also in his contacts, it also shows where about you are located at that moment, unless you specifically go in and turn it off. Also, a new account would have 0 points so would be liked adding someone on fb who has 0 friends.

I don’t know what’s more shocking, the fact a man who’s presumably 40+ has Snapchat or the fact that he hasn’t clocked on OP is using a fake account.
It’s painfully obvious and easy to see through their score…

seriously tho OP, get away from him he doesn’t deserve you. ❤️

How about you writing proper English? What on earth does this mean:

'along I am far too old to bother with that.'

I’m going list down what he has done so you guys know exactly what’s happened. Bare in mind he was in depression mode:-
he’s pushed me against a wall, pulled me by the hair into the bedroom, twisted my fingers, pinned me down on bed, slapped me 3 times and also burnt my arm with the iron. Sounds bad but he wasn’t right in head and I still stood with him through them times x

Don't worry about your grammar and spelling. The post written by the poster who told you to write proper English did not even make sense.

Then don’t fuck around trying to trick him. Keep yourself safe and plan your exit x

your right! I’ve got what I needed I need plan my exit secretly

Cheating men always underestimate their partner's or their wive's detective skills. That's why most of them get found out.

That’s serious violence. There is no justification. Lots of people suffer depression and don’t get violent. If this is what he’s capable of when he loses control, please put your safety first and be very careful how you proceed.

Don’t screen shot the messages he’s sent you on to your phone as they may appear on the backup cloud. Get someone you trust to take a photo of them on their phone. Not that you need any evidence of cheating for a divorce.

Do you have an old phone you don’t use? If so tomorrow morning buy a cheap pay as you go SIM card and use that to create the WhatsApp. Then casually message tomorrow with a vague excuse for the late reply and give him the number.

He’s obviously been doing this a while! Used to the quick nature of online hook ups by now. Arsehole!

Just say for safety you don’t give your number when you’ve not met. Too many weirdos out there type thing. Perfectly plausible - if he’s done this before (which sounds likely) he’ll be used to that

Pleas do op and get everyone here to help with advice or emotional support.

Ok that’s a good thing .
Do you have a bank account of your own ?
If not get one made up with your mums address
If you don’t work and have been living like room mates for long enough you can apply for UC
When shopping see if anyone can do cash back .
There is a very famous post on here I will see if no can find the name for you .
She bull bought his stuff in a container.
Got gift cards that could be cashed in
she bought uniforms in bigger sizes etc
she did everything she could as her husband would play it bad
her thread went on for years with her journey.
on the day you plan to leave transfer half the savings from the account your new one.
Or go on and off cash .
Isnit a joint account with your name on ? If not can you tell
him you would like it added ?
what would he says if you said you wanted your own car ? Could you purchase that ? would this be too obvious .

You are averaging one message every two minutes or less, op. Be careful not be be caught by him on this app. How and where are the kids in all this?

He BURNT YOU with an iron?!!oh OP this is the worst thing t I've ever read here I am so so sorry for you. No depression can be an excuse for that! He is an abuser and you must plan to leave.
You need to play the long game though, read Why Does He Do That, and follow the advise of many wise women who have posted on your thread. Please do!
Good luck

Havent rtft but don’t screen on snapshot - the other person will see. Also, make sure you’re not sharing your location on that snapchat profile (you probably arent). Take a picture of the screen on your own phone as proof

This is a huge red flag to me. Keep messaging him, don’t confront him, make an exit plan. You won’t be the only woman he’s messaging. I bet he tells you his ex is a narcissist.

100% cheating.

I prefer to call this good old-fashioned detective work.

OP drop the Snapchat now. There’s no point in carrying it on. Especially with a man capable of violence. People ghost people all the time, he won’t get suspicious.

Follow the sensible advice from PP of seeing a solicitor and find out what you will be entitled to when you divorce.

He will already have hidden money and investments. Don’t give him the heads up that he should hide more by letting him know too soon.

Move some money into your account. Say it’s for Christmas surprises if he asks.

If your mum will give the game away, tell her the bare minimum. That you aren’t getting on.

I’m sorry your H turned out to be a horrible person. Burning you with an iron. Fucking hell OP. He doesn’t deserve you.

💐

Make sure you tell your solicitor this.

You were tortured with an iron.
Stop saying he wasn't right in the head.

He's just abusive scum.

Angry over 3 plates in the sink?
You are being abused every day.

You will eventually realise that you should have gone to the police and reported him for assault.

Tell the truth about his abuse.
Tell his mother what he did.
Tell family and friends the truth.