He’s cheating! Caught him out shocked!

[Stunnershaz]

Hi everyone this is my first post so please be easy with me. I’ve been married for 20 years to dh and have 5 beautiful kids. Our relationship like everyone else had its ups and downs yet we stuck together through it all. If u ask if im happy I would say im secure and now made this life which is fine. Last few years have been tough as seeing changes with dh for example not answering my calls, staying out late and just generally not giving me much attention. Our sex life doesn’t exsist which doesn’t bother him and to be fair I didn’t make a big deal due to him feeling embarrassed about his ed.
I had been having a feeling he might be cheating but I tried ignore this and try carry on with our lives. He’s very protective and feel like he would question everything to me but I’m very laid back and just let him be which could be my fault.
last week I don’t know what made me do this but I seen his Snapchat pop up a few times and he just kinda ignore it and turned phone over which I found weird. I went and made a fake account and added him to it( what was I thinking) I don’t even know why I did it but the feeling just kept coming to do this. Anyway after a few hours he added me and said hello. I said hello back and he asked me where I was from so I kinda just went with it and made up a character. He then asked me for a picture and he sent his picture straight away. I asked if he was seeing anyone and he said no he’s divorce with no kids!!!! Wtf!!! I was shaking and just logged out. He came home from work like normal and I just carried on like normal. I don’t know what do with this information? I can’t confront him as I’m terrified about breaking up my family yet I can’t go on like this knowing he is doing this crap. He’s sent a message today saying let’s meet up wtf! I’m such a mug! I don’t even have the balls to confront him as he will turn this on me

I'm really sorry for you. You sound like a kind and calm person, talk yo friends and family about this so he can't gaslight you. You and your children deserve better. Hugs.

Do you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain?

First post always nails it.

Grant his wish and divorce him 👋😇

Get him to send compromising pics so you have something on him.
The leave x

I am astounded a the sheer amount of grown women egging OP on like this is comedy drama and not someone's actual life. How are you going to feel if she tricks him and he beats seven shades out of her? Grow up

My ex played golf and he was an arse, although not abusive.

Good luck OP

If you sign up with your number on Snapchat it would come up as who it is if it’s saved in his contacts..so I’m guessing your saved, he would know it’s you behind the account as it would tell him who it is 🫣

Sorry, I hope not, im just thinking about my Snapchat, it picks up other Snapchat users that are close by, shared contacts, saved phone numbers. The most important thing is to stay safe don’t put yourself in a position of danger just to catch him out.

Send him the same picture with him cropped out. It will scare him as much as if you met him

Can you ask him on your fake profile if he makes a habit of meeting up with women off Snapchat and when his last relationship was etc, has he been having fun on Snapchat etc ?

How about writing proper English, so that the older generation can understand what you are asking?
But string him along and surprise - along I am far too old to bother with that.
However, if he has ED, and you both sound young, go down the get healthy route, if the spark is still there.

@Stunnershaz ahhh OK.

Errrm I don't use snapchat so maybe someone who knows the platform can confirm. But i think you have to set it up carefully if you don't want your contacts in your phone to be notified that you're on there. Can anyone confirm? If this is the case, and this is indeed real, I wonder if it's possible that he knew all along who it was, and has been playing along... sorry for the cynicism, and whatever happens OP I hope you're ok...

It used to say added by number or username also.

That’s an awful post. The OPs posts were perfectly understandable. And she is in an abusive relationship with a man she has just caught cheating. As a member of the older generation the phrase ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ should be familiar. Show some compassion!

I signed up with a fake email

I'm reading back and this seems to suggest that's the case...

Thank you x

I totally agree with rainbow. Just leave the jerk!. Who knows how long this has been going on......

But before leaving, plan out YOUR future. (Is your name on the car title too? [If it is, its yours too. He cant claim that you stole his car!] Where to go? Any kids at home? Where should they go?.....and questions of like that.)
Leave calmly, knowing your life needn't be wasted.
Having the house solely in his name, tells me he was trying to "groom" you & make you totally dependant on him. (My husband did that with cars until last time--after the 5 kids all left home. I went to help pick out a car & made sure it was in my name too!

OP, if you think he has hidden money, a forensic accountant will find it.

A good solicitor will know.
Spend as much time getting any paperwork, bank accounts, pensions etc together.
Take photos.

Tell the solicitor of the financial abuse.
The control and the abuse.

You need to talk to Women's aid too about his abuse and your fear of him.

Tell your mother that you are afraid.
Get advice.

Violent controlling men are unpredictable.

He won't like this coming out.
Be very careful.

Get a good solicitor experienced in divorce.
The bills will come from the assets you share.
Get every single penny, especially his pension.

I’d be tempted to make another fake account and when he sends his photo I’d say , OMG I know you! You’re stunnershaz’s husband!

It’s not even money he’s bothered about your all right it was so he had the control. I got with him when I was young and from a poor background. He showered me with gifts and love at the beginning and not let me worry about anything in terms of finance so at that age I was like he was looking out for me and letting me have a good life. The end of it I was lonely looking after the kids and unhappy. Money wasn’t everything and having a beautiful home and nice stuff won’t ever cover the cracks x

I’m sorry everyone for my grammar and spelling. I’m just trying give you all the information as quick as possible so I’m making mistakes. Sorry x

I like this!