A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

It’s not a “keep your hands off my man” situation. It’s about confronting disrespectful behaviour and having boundaries. I wouldn’t want to socialise with this person again and I would be very direct about that.

In your situation OP I’d probably feel the same.
But I’d wait a few days & then decide against the message.
A frosty silence is often more effective.

It isnt about ‘saintly comments’ it is pp knowing she is the type not to care about what the women think. You will fuel her game.

i loved this but agree with pp about it coming from him as she doesnt care about the women.

Mary - please stop offering to suck our penises on our nights out. It really changes the atmosphere of the night and is unwanted sexual harassment.

hmm, she might reply by saying actually it’s the fifth time, just to make mischief.

If you absolutely must (and I wouldn't- it's soap opera-esque) put 'bet there are some sore heads and red faces this morning 😉' on the group chat

The subtext was accusing the man of being responsible in part for the blow job offer. In my world women are often accused of being responsible for sexual harassment they face. It would be nice to live in your world though!

Why? She got drunk, made a fool of herself and was rebuffed by your DP. I wouldn't give this a second thought.

Challenge her to a duel.

i don’t understand why some people think OP shouldn’t say anything, because it was just between OP's DH and the woman. OP had a friendly relationship with this woman, and the woman broke the rules of friendship.

"Hi Marilyn, I thought you were a friend, but your embarrassing behaviour last night, which DH has told me about, shows that I was wrong. You have made the offer of a BJ before to partners of other "friends". As this is a group chat for real friends I’m wondering whether you belong to it for any reason other than access to other people's partners."

It depends on how it's done. I'd see it as my husband being protective of me.

Embarrass her. I wouldn’t text, I’d say something in public to her along the lines of how cringeworthy her behaviour is and how everyone’s laughing at her because she’s so pathetically desperate - and very deluded if she thinks anyone would want a BJ from a……person……like her.

I’d also freeze her out of your social group.

If she's in the friendship group and has form for this behaviour then I'd do it publicly too.

The OP needs to be fairly confident everyone won't rally round BJ mate though. If she's manipulative enough to get people to feel sorry for her, it could go badly for the OP.

Just send "You Suck!".

Morning guys, it was great seeing you all last night and catching up! Can’t wait to see you again at Helen’s on 23 December!

I was quite upset to find out that whilst the rest of us were dancing, Megan offered to give Chris a BJ! It’s such a shame that someone that we both considered a friend would have such disregard for our marriage.

Agreed.

Yes I was going to say this too. Expose her for the snake she is

I'd be tempted to keep it light and making fun:

"DH told me. We're you hammered?? We're mortified for you 😂"

OP you say that she has done it to other woman’s husbands and that it’s time she was told?

Don’t be the one to try and be a hero- if you send a message best case scenario is she says “ oh sorry I didn’t mean too offend I won’t do it again” and it stops ( unlikely) or worse case ( for you) is she says you are bullying and you end up getting ostracised from the group.

By all means have a word when you see her next but be wary of sending a message.

I disagree.

I’ve never felt so insecure in my relationship that I felt the need to warn other women to stay away from DH, even the two that tried, v. v hard to seduce him.

Your DH handled it, no need to text.

Surely if she's hit on the husband of another person in the group, and you say she'll do it to others, the group will just freeze/fade her out? Just form another WhatsApp group (although please, stop using that shitty platform!) without her in it and stop inviting her to events.

I just feel really sorry for women who offer random men blowjobs.
What's in it for them?
I mean I get maybe validation, feeling like the men want you, but you're just a receptacle at that point, what's sexy for the woman about that?

No answers required (don't want to derail and turn this into a sex thread), just wondering out loud

@GirlInterrupted why dont you just put it on the group chat that he gets his bj's from you and she should find someone else who actually wants one from her!! just embarass her!

If you say something it may backfire on you. I was a member of a group where one of the DHs was 'handsy' (very - groping under the table etc with my DH sat on the other side). Turned out he had done it to pretty much all the other women in the group. However as a result of my complaining I was excluded from the group. This was confirmed by the advent of social media when there appeared regular postings of group activities to which I was never invited.

Ugh, do you really think the whole friendship group needs that mental image?

You could fight her on the chip shop floor and we could all come along to cheer.

Winner gets a free battered sausage.