A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

If you are in a WhatsApp group then tell everyone what she did !

You don't have any right to tell another adult how to behave or where they can go or who they can talk to.

You can not like her but you can NOT single handedly decide tell her not to attend events shes invited to and to leave the friend chat... you are not in charge, she and everyone else can be friends regardless of your opinions/feeling.

Exclusion is also a bullying tactic.

You husband said 'no' thats it. Its done, hes not property you have to defend from thieves. Metaphorically standing on the lawn with a shotgun yelling 'try me' just makes you look mental.

Would suggest that you and he have a conversation about his own behaviour as I don't suppose it was purely unsolicited? Was drinking taken ...??

Yes, every time I’ve been propositioned it’s because of how I acted or what I was wearing…

I would say

"This is the second time you have propositioned one of our husbands and offered a blow job, please could you stop degrading yourself in our group"

People are just saying no text is necessary!

You telling her anything will achieve precisely nothing

@HardlyLikely we must be reading different threads, that certainly isn’t all I am reading.

🤣

You telling her anything will achieve precisely nothing

Presumably the OP thinks it will make her feel better

I’d just ignore her and never go to anything she’s at, at ever. Exclusion is fine when they are like this.

Presumably your husband told her to get lost already. Personally I'd talk in person, it will be intensely more uncomfortable for her and she doesn't have the option to just to block you with no response. I'd say my husband told me what happened, I intend to warn all of our other friends about you, so you may want to rethink your social circle.

I've not read any updates but just to add are you 100% certain your husband has told the whole truth? Be prepared for her to claim.it was the other way round or he acted inappropriately too if there were no other witnesses. Just go into the conversation prepared is my advice

I didn't mention anything about clothes.

Guess we move in different circles 🤷‍♀️

Are you sure she didn't just offer him a PBJ sandwich ? In which case you could be overreacting to a small business deli owner.

He should be the one to say something to the group.

Jennifer made a very inappropriate sexual advance towards me last night, which made me incredibly uncomfortable, have discussed with OP and we're in full agreement that we would love to continue to socialise with the group but neither of us are comfortable with Jennifer being present if we are.

If she's someone within your friendship circle with loyalty to you, I would say something. Otherwise it looks like you're a mug willing to put up from shitty behaviour from people. You wouldn't ignore this behaviour from a partner so you shouldn't ignore from a mate.
If she's someone you know vaguely and just see out socially then I'd leave it up to your husband to deal with it. You don't have the right to tell her not to go to certain social events or to make her leave the whatsapp chat though. You just have to find ways to either keep her at arms length or get over it.

If she has previous of this, I'd tell her in person. Not by text.

I'd leave it myself but if you want to make yourself feel better then put a message on the group whatsapp saying "Is everything OK with Katie? I'm aware she's been offering no-strings blowjobs to a few married people recently. I'm presuming she has some mental health problems because her self-esteem must be rock bottom. Is there anything we can do to help her?"

Don't leave the group yourself. Ideally try and style it out like you've forgotten she's on the group. Maybe spell her name slightly wrong.

My suggestion would be to send a text saying
”I thought you should know that sexual assault by touching is a reportable offence. We are taking legal advice regarding your assault on my husband and another friend.
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/3 “

A man propositioned me, back when. I was married. I told him the answer was no and that was that, as far as I was concerned. Not interested, job done.

My ex husband got irate and felt the need to send a strongly worded message without asking me. It really pissed me off because I can handle things my own way and didn’t need him interfering. I also felt it implied a lack of trust in me.

Have you actually checked your husband wants you to do anything? You may piss him off if he feels you are making things worse, which is what I felt. One thing, tackling it at the time, another to step in and stir everything up, after the event.

Time she needs told Really?

Op, it will only fuel her to offer herself more to your husband. It is a game. She doesn't care about you so why would she react to a begging letter? Jolene?

the best course if action is for the men to call her out each time. And for them not to encourage it.

Actually go with this. Maybe even remove mention of the op completely.

Meh, it’s annoying….
however if I trust my DH, and he explicitly said to F off/back off… then atleast I can hold my head high and be satisfied that I don’t look an unhinged and desperate….

This. You missed your opportunity at that gathering OP. If it was said within earshot of you, you should have brought what had been said to the attention of everyone else and then told her that she’s degrading herself and bringing down the tone. This is what’s needed if you want her to stop. It won’t have the same impact in a private text, or even as part of a WhatsApp conversation as if it were said loudly enough to silence a room full of people.

T😂this

Well she can. Whether this step will have the desired effect.
Who knows.
I think there's making a pass and making a pass, this was a direct offer of a sexual act. I'd be messaging her privately or perhaps even calling and letting her know that her behaviour is not acceptable.