A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

This is perfect! The version I'd just written is below, but this is better!

"Dear N, some words of advice from a friend: Your behaviour last night, similar to behaviour you've exhibited previously, is starting to get you a name in the group - and it's not a very nice name. If I were you, I'd stop behaving this way if you want to remain part of this friendship group."

I think in terms of embarrassment, the OP would definitely top the leader board if she sent that! 😬

How about “WTAF is wrong with you? If you don’t have any respect for yourself, your DH, your friends or any of our marriages, could you at least have the decency to stay the fuck away from social gatherings where alcohol and whatever else you’re on are taking place?”

I dont really believe this. She may have fancied your D H without encouragement and was drunk and chanced her arm so to speak. How many men have made advances without being led on to women.she has just done the same.

Better make it "not the first time"!

I feel we need more context! Who is this woman? What WhatsApp group are you in with her? What was the set up last night?

I do wish the OP would come back and answer a few questions that have been asked.

Are you a teenager?

This is exactly the case, my DH did tell her to get the fuck, but she's done it before with another DH and will do it again! Time she needs told

So what though. Are you concerned because there is a deaf and dumb man in your group who physically won’t be able to say no? If not, I would just let the men deal with it. Surely after so many rejections, she won’t have any candidates left. My biggest problem is that I would have trouble not laughing when I saw her. The fact she will be the laughing stock of the group is surely enough?

Wow that's thread did not go where I thought it would.. send the text OP. I'd go full throttle and send it in the group WhatsApp personally.. embarrass her! She's no friend.

If you message her, she will know it pisses you off and do it even more. She doesn't really want to give your DH a BJ, it's a power thing over the women. She wants you all to feel insecure and threatened and knows hitting on your partners will do that.

You want to send a message? Either as a group stop inviting her to stuff, or just ignore her and tell your DH to do the same. She wants attention, and by sending texts you're giving her the drama she craves. Just don't engage and she'll get bored and move on.

To be honest, it sounds as though you're better off without them.

Be classier than that OP. This isn't an episode of Eastenders.

Presumably he rebuffed her at the time. You doing anything other than maintaining a dignified silence will make you look like a screaming harpy.

I wouldn't text her - but I'd message all your mutual friends to tell them.

If your husband has set her straight what is the point of texting her? You say she has done this previously to someone else's husband in the friendship circle? The only thing you need to do is cut her out of your group and inform the other women she's making passes at husbands. Let them decide if they want to remain friends with a snake, but make it clear you won't be going out with them if she is in attendance.

The kind of woman who enjoys propositioning her friends' parther with BJs is the kind of woman who'll enjoy receiving an outraged text. It's what she's waiting for - the DRAMA.

If you want to get into a tedious Eastenders-style showdown then send her a text. If you want some dignity and power, then just silently remove her from your friendship group.

Do not. Let your husband refuse her.
He can send the text.

@WearyAuldWumman
I am. There is one couple that I keep in touch with but they have moved away, the others it's merely Christmas cards and polite superficial small talk if we meet in street etc

I'd say have some self respect and call her a desperate tramp, which she is to behave like that.

Why would you message her?

It feels too much like you’re DH’s mum and he’s told on her and it’s up to you to sort it.

She doesn’t care that she tried it on with your DH, so why do you think she’d care that you message her.
She would probably just laugh if you message her.

If you feel she needs to be told again, then DH needs to message her and tell her exactly how he feels.

I wouldn’t be passive aggressive like some of these replies.
I would tell her straight how disgusting I thought she was and that I’d never accept an advance from her etc.

God, how utterly embarrassing for her. No amount of drink could ever make me do that. The shame!!!
I probably wouldn’t say anything, your DH has handled it but she is, very clearly, no friend of yours and I would treat her accordingly. Just blank her moving forward, she is obviously bloody unhinged, so ignore her.

"As a friend, please may I suggest not offering blowjobs to other people's husbands and boyfriends? It's giving you a reputation as a sad and desperate woman and some of our gang are starting to pity you."

What is the response you expect from this?
Oh thanks so much for the heads up Sandra. I had no idea it was an issue, but I'll certainly stop propositioning married men with oral sex from now on and stick to lemonade. Appreciate the feedback. See you at the carol service."

That's the only message that I'd even consider.

Does your husband want you to message her?

If this had happened to me and a friend in our group made an advance on me, I would rather handle it myself than my partner doing it on my behalf, and would message in the group saying something like lovely to see you all last night, unfortunately it will be the last time me and SPOUSE attend if X is there as I feel really uncomfortable about the second person in the group to be sexually propositioned by X.

I’d message saying “you must feel a embarrassment about my husband declining your blowjob dear”

just so she knows you know but not in a way your insecure.