A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

@Patienceinshortsupply its nothing to do with insecurity though. It’s not normal to have someone in your circle repeatedly trying it on with other peoples partners and everyone pretend it doesn’t happen. That’s weird. I wouldn’t want a man in our group trying it on with me and I wouldn’t expect DH to be nonplussed just because he’s secure in the relationship.

Yes, because he said no. She is the rejected one so she is the one with something to hide / be embarrassed about and if she isn’t , fair enough - she is a tart. Much more satisfying to smirk at her while on DH arm than send a message in an online group.

It’s much worse having to be polite to someone your H is actually in an affair with, keeping your powder dry for a near future date. I wish I could have been in OPs position.

does she have a drink problem

Don’t message her… she might see it as a challenge and up her game. There are some folks around who get off on winding people up. Just laugh it off

What a sad state of affairs where you would lower yourself to fighting over a useless man who couldn't give the woman the message himself!
She is not your profile. Your pathetic excuse for a man is.

How has basic comprehension got so low on MNs?

It really isn’t your place to tell her to leave the group, either on WA or face to face meetings.

If you don’t want any further contact with her, which is totally understandable, then you just cut her off.

You may find that some friends will prefer to keep their friendship with her.

But no one’s suggested ‘acting like nothing happened’, they’re just saying the OP’s DH dealt with it at the time, so she doesn’t need to send texts messages hissing ‘Keep off my man or I’ll end you!’ like something from Eastenders. No one’s suggesting she be best friends with BJ woman.

And if she does she will look very insecure or just ridiculous.

I wouldn’t text but I would acknowledge it in person.

Wow your friendship circle sounds wild! I cannot envisage this scenario!

Dh friend asked him to marry her instead of me at our engagement party! . Felt sorry for her as it was all quite tragic. Certainly didn’t say anything. She moved overseas anyway problem solved.

Do you tell women that are sexually harassed that they must have asked for it too?

She got form for this blatantly doesn’t care

so a text is pointless and just looks like u don’t trust your DH and have to wade in to mark your territory

id guess she’d just laugh at anything you sent

Thank goodness you added that last sentence or op might have just sent it with no thought

But no one’s suggested ‘acting like nothing happened’, they’re just saying the OP’s DH dealt with it at the time, so she doesn’t need to send texts messages hissing ‘Keep off my man or I’ll end you!’ like something from Eastenders. No one’s suggesting she be best friends with BJ woman.

All the initial replies chatise OP for considering the idea and that the DH should deal with it or has dealt with it. Why would anyone be suggesting they be best friends when they aren’t?

Do you tell women that are sexually harassed that they must have asked for it too?

Quite

My own sister made a pass at my DH, he declined, he told me after she left as he was worried about me kicking off. She followed it up with a msg, he had told me by then. He showed me the msg. She has form for affairs with married men. Last time I saw her was at my Mothers funeral, 5 years now. I never ever msg or spoke to her about it. She was cut off by the entire family for multiple reasons after Mother died, she has form for deliberately upsetting people and enjoys it. She did even as a small child. She had made passes at some of our other sister’s husbands as well. I’m one of five sisters. No one else is remotely like her.

This woman may be this type, for someone regular it is hard to get your head round. But having lived around my sister some people are just nasty and attention seeking. She was actually Mothers favourite child by a long shot.

Do nothing and be glad you have a loyal DH because let’s be honest some may have taken up that offer.

😂

Why can't her husband say that in the group and not the OP?

I think I'd put something in the group chat.

"Hi all, good evening last night.

Just a heads up that Barbara is still going round offering sexual services to the men in the group, last night's intended lucky recipient of a blowjob was Dave. If you see her advancing with a purposeful glint in her eye, be sure to give her a wide berth. The woman's a positive menace and possibly a health hazard.

See you soon, love, GirlInterrupted and Dave x"

Don’t send anything. She would be embarrassed by his rejection anyway. Sending a message will be you coming across as insecure.

Much more satisfying to smirk at her while on DH arm than send a message in an online group.

So smirking whilst clutching DHs arm is the more mature, classy approach? 😆

I wouldn’t message in a group chat, mainly because I would be wary that I hadn’t got the full or accurate story.

However I can totally understand why you’d want to text her, so I’d do that privately.

I would say something like:

DH told me that you made an inappropriate offer to him last night. I’m absolutely furious that you would disrespect both me and our friendship in such a way. After discussing this with DH, we've both agreed that we don’t wish to continue any sort of relationship with you going forward.

Then let some of your friends from the group know that this woman has behaved inappropriately and your friendship is untenable, so going forward you will have to decline social invitations where she will be present, if she cannot be avoided.

Ignore all the saintly comments about not messaging her. Say I know what you said to my husband and I'd appreciate it if you respected boundaries in future as your advances are unwanted. You should think about leaving the WhatsApp group as it could affect your self esteem if you remain.

FFS, MN is being odd again.

Ignore those having a go, OP. Of course it's natural to want to say something, especially if she's in your friendship group.

if you must, then speak to her face to face

Blimey! 😳. That’s a leap, I don’t know about you but I’ve had lots of men (and some women) make uninvited comments of a similar nature so I don’t find this hard to believe at all.

In that situation, if I’d already said no, I’d be fucking fuming if DH decided to contact the person separately to tell them to lay off as if I were his property and I was incapable of managing my own boundaries.

That said, there are some good suggestions here from the perspective of OP’s relationship with this woman, if that’s the route she wants to go down.