A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

Q. What do YOU think is going to stop this woman's behaviour?

A. Making her feel very uncomfortable in future gatherings. Majorly focus on the others, alienate her and, if necessary, give her a withering, pitiful look. She should take herself out to the bin.

The OP isn't going to be able to achieve that on her own.

It might work if the others back her up though but we don't know that they will, otherwise the woman would've been removed from the WA group already.

The poster was simply reversing the roles.😀

She was most definitely disrespected.

I’m going to assume the first couple did what most of posters say the OP should do - stay silent and think that the DH saying NO was enough.

Except that … it clearly hasn’t been enough to stop her from sexually harassing another guy

I would not send a text message. I would wait until you see her in person and be super sweet about it all. Something like "I hope you don't feel too embarrassed about us all being here together tonight especially after what you said to DH. When we spoke about it, he said was so embarrassed for you because we both agreed that you MUST have had a little too much to drink that night. We both know that there is NO WAY you would ever have done something like that sober! I am so glad that we spoke and sorted this misunderstanding out."

That way she knows EXACTLY where the line is, that you know, that you and DH spoke about it and NOT to try it on again with the lovely sideline that you have basically insinuated she is a drunk (in the best possible taste) and your husband thinks she is an idiot! And of course, you walk away smelling of roses!

You call her out publicly in their group chat, make sure to humiliate her into rethinking who she tries to betray the next time.

She will probably carry on acting like an unpaid hooker till she IS outed.
Could be the drink, could be she is just a desperate woman who has no respect for her 'friends' happiness, but keeping it quiet is enabling her to carry on acting like this.

Ffs, nobody has said that what this woman did was OK. We're all in agreement that it isn't and you don't help yourself by making up stuff like this.

But it's dealt with. Husband rebuffed her, as is his job. If OP has to safeguard him by scaring off other women then he's not worth having. Doesn't sound like this woman is a friend as much as in the same social circle; OP is obviously free to stop socialising with her and even tell her why if she asks (is that likely?) but militant posturing messages ("show she's no pushover" or whatever, as if OP were the person the woman was trying to manipulate) just shift the focus off the husband's duty, make him look like OP keeps him and, crucially, communicate to this woman that OP still feels threatened enough to try to warn her off.

If the husband can be trusted, and it seems he can, the situation resolves itself. Other woman gets rejected and feels a twat, and OP didn't need to do anything.

Honestly don’t message her. I’m guessing it’s someone in your social circle. I would be my most confident, not bitchy and most fabulous self the next time I saw her. Don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing you feel threatened… you shouldn’t by the way. Best thing to do is not sink to her low!

What’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her?

Have a word with DH first. Ask him about her, ask him to block her number. You should be the priority here, not her feelings.

Ha! I see what you did there
seminal song reference

It's possible that the husband is playing the game of make 'her indoors' jealous by saying he rebuffed this woman.

Don't refer to this on the group chat. She may deny it ever happened/claim she doesn't remember/even claim your DH propositioned or harassed her. Don't give her any ammunition, steer well clear and leave her to it. People like this are often just trouble the more you engage with them.

What you choose to do about your 'friendship' with her or tell trusted friends in private, is up to you.

I actually know someone who does that. He only has to take the bins out and he has a story about how he's been chatted up. I'm not exaggerating either.

Unfortunately for him there have been several times he's told his wife he's been chatted up but he definitely hadn't eg she was closing the curtains while he put the bin out and no one else was even in the street. Very weird behaviour.

Honestly, if he declined it like you said, why are you angry?

I would find it amusing.

@GirlInterrupted I’d say ‘ we understand that it must be hard to be without a partner at Christmas, you have our sympathy but desperation is not a good look. It’s been discussed and we all think your offering blowjobs to married men is not normal, who is going to date someone who does that? . You need professional help. Get some.’

Can't see where you fit in this, sorry! Adult female approached adult male, he rejected her. Job done.

He doesn't need his 'mummy' to talk to her.

If a man had been so ‘forward’ with me at making sexual advances, I’d hope my DH wouldn’t just find that amusing tbh.

Because there is really nothing amusing about unwanted sexual advances like this and harassment. Regardless if the offender is a man or a woman.

Leave it at that

Regardless of what she’s done you can’t demand that she stays away from venues and social gatherings. She’s free and entitled to go where the hell she pleases, whether you like it or not. That’s not me siding with her BTW that’s just a fact.

I’m assuming that your DH told you himself that she offered to give him a BJ. That to me shows he’s the faithful type. You’ve got a good one there OP. I think you need to count your lucky stars. It could have gone the other way where he’d have accepted the BJ (plenty of blokes would), and. They’d have gone on to have a full blown affair.

If it was me, I'd just send her a laughing face emoji. But then again I am very petty.

Don't do that.

It’s bit ‘er indoors. I wouldn’t lower myself. Stay silent. Stay classy.