Is this grabby and unreasonable or am I being precious?

[Thelaughingtonepoliceman]

Old friend who I see fairly regularly and love in the way you love old friends, but has a history of being a bit of a diva.

She's messaged me today about her birthday party which is in February next year and said she's doing a dinner at home and I need to give her £20 towards the food and she can't invite my partner yet because she "needs to prioritise other people".

It's not a milestone birthday, it's a low-key event with some friends and she gets on well with my partner, so there's no backstory there.

I have no problem going out without my partner, we are very independent and have our own social lives. And I wouldn't mind chipping in for dinner in principle though I think its a bit off to ask each guest for £20 when you're eating at home.

But there's something about the way she's phrased this and gone about it which has made me think I can't really be arsed. But not sure if I'm being over-sensitive.

She's a birthdayzilla! I really don't understand these people, they are so entitled and controlling.

Friends might decide to get together to celebrate your birthday and contribute to it IF they want to. You can't ask.

Also, it's fine to say it's just 'girls only', I've been to a few of those, but not to so obviously put your partner into a second rung of guests and tell you.

If I am paying for my dinner I want to choose what I eat. No way would I pay a friend especially when my partner isn't invited. Cheeky cow!

How much profit is she expecting to make do you think?

Someone bringing their own drink if they want to, which could be a fiver, is not the same as enforcing a £20 rule where you don't even know if drinks are included.

This. There's no comparison at all.