He has asked me to move in with him, how can I say no nicely?

[Badwitch222]

I am currently in what I would class as a situation-ship.
Long story short we was speaking & dating he would always be hot and cold with me. The first time we met he was telling me that he loves me and then the day after he just wanted to be friends.

we had sex for the first time, we spoke for a few days after. He then started ignoring my messages just opening them and ignoring them so I blocked him last week. I ended up unblocking him yesterday as I had a pregnancy scare my periods are usually like clock work but I have missed my period. I asked him if he would be with me when I did the test to which he said yes.

I told him I would contact him tomorrow with a time and place to meet he said okay and then 20 minutes he kept sending me messages asking if I had been okay, asking me how life has been ect…

So I just told him about life, my landlord is currently wanting to sell up so wants me out. I told him I’m just looking for houses at the moment because of this. He has now offered me to come and move into his flat with him. Whilst the idea is really nice I really don’t think this is a good idea. We spend so much time arguing and that’s just over text message now imagine if we’re just in each others space constantly and his flat is only small.

I tried to brush it off the first time he said it, but he must of noticed because he kept mentioning it either how he’ll be able to look after me ect ect ( not like I do need looking after, I am very independent and I work myself). I just said yeah I’ll have a think about it he wants me to come over today to discuss it.

I also asked him why he was ignoring me on purpose, he said he wasn’t ignoring me at the start but he started to ignore me when I messaged him asking why he was ignoring me. He ignored me 2 days, just kept opening my messages and reading them but no reply. It was completely out of nowhere so I blocked him.

All this ignoring, blocking and unblocking sounds very childish. Why do you need to say it nicely? Can’t you just say that it wouldn’t work?

Why do you want him to be there when you do the test? That feels more coupley than your relationship appears.

The man's a lunatic.

Someone you saw fit to block, ever, is not someone you stay in a relationship with, never mind move in with.

You are not wrong. Sounds like he's being ruled by how horny he is on any given day rather than buildings a relationship. I would tell him it's not a good idea as you aren't stable enough.

Don't say it nicely, be clear and direct.

You need a stable situation, not someone who blows hot and cold and can throw you out on a whim

Oh ffs, grow up!

How can you claim to be all Miss Independent when you need to him to hold your hand whilst you pee on a stick???

Do the test, get it out the way then deal with the results! You both sound extremely childish and in no way ready for a child so let's hope it's negative.

How long have you known him. Definitely say no as you need your own space.

This sums it up.

Got my doubts about OP too

We have known each other for about 2 months, I’ve met him once properly & the other time was the time that we actually met

The words you're looking for are simply: "No thank you".

Walk away and ask yourself why you’ve put up with this level of drama from someone you’ve only known for two months. He’s a red flag in human form.

Why do you have to say it nicely? Just say no. To a man you have known for two months. Who you don’t get on with but have had sex with (why?) And who you are playing block/unblock games with. This sounds so juvenile, sorry but it does.

Why are you arguing with a stranger?? Block his number and move on.

Are you pregnant? What a messy situation.

All you need to say is "No thanks, that wouldn't be a good idea."

WTF?! This cannot be real....

Can I ask how old you are @Badwitch222?

Have you ever been in a relationship before? Nothing you describe is remotely normal.

He's literally a stranger.

He is a head fuck already with the mixed signals... Not to be at all judgey as I have had a few ons but didn't you use a condom????

You have met twice?! Fucking hell. You must know your postman better than this stranger. Don't have him over to do a pregnancy test with you. That is lunacy! You really need to step away from this mess.

I thought you were going to say, you’d known him a while and have been dating for at least 6 months. How can you possibly live with someone whilst you block each other this soon into knowing each other, let alone in a relationship.

What did I just read? What is wrong with you!

You both need to grow the hell up. No, you shouldn’t move in with him. You shouldn’t even continue talking to him. And, for the love of Christ, do not bring a child into this.

End the situationship (am I really old now or this just code for shit relationship, a shituationship?). Thus ends the need for a discussion about why you don't want to move in with an uncommitted arsehole. Good luck house hunting

You're absolutely right not to move in.
I'd say thanks for asking, but you don't think the relationship is ready for cohabiting and you want to get your own place.

You have met twice ?!!!

and you need a pregnancy test ?

oh dear, hopefully it is negative.

you take yourself off now and buy a test - they are available in supermarkets and chemists so not difficult to buy.
even easier to do !
and by this afternoon you should know, depending on how long ago was last period was.

this is not a relationship you are in, improve your contraception and find somewhere else yourself to live.

and you both need to grow up !