He has asked me to move in with him, how can I say no nicely?

[Badwitch222]

I am currently in what I would class as a situation-ship.
Long story short we was speaking & dating he would always be hot and cold with me. The first time we met he was telling me that he loves me and then the day after he just wanted to be friends.

we had sex for the first time, we spoke for a few days after. He then started ignoring my messages just opening them and ignoring them so I blocked him last week. I ended up unblocking him yesterday as I had a pregnancy scare my periods are usually like clock work but I have missed my period. I asked him if he would be with me when I did the test to which he said yes.

I told him I would contact him tomorrow with a time and place to meet he said okay and then 20 minutes he kept sending me messages asking if I had been okay, asking me how life has been ect…

So I just told him about life, my landlord is currently wanting to sell up so wants me out. I told him I’m just looking for houses at the moment because of this. He has now offered me to come and move into his flat with him. Whilst the idea is really nice I really don’t think this is a good idea. We spend so much time arguing and that’s just over text message now imagine if we’re just in each others space constantly and his flat is only small.

I tried to brush it off the first time he said it, but he must of noticed because he kept mentioning it either how he’ll be able to look after me ect ect ( not like I do need looking after, I am very independent and I work myself). I just said yeah I’ll have a think about it he wants me to come over today to discuss it.

I also asked him why he was ignoring me on purpose, he said he wasn’t ignoring me at the start but he started to ignore me when I messaged him asking why he was ignoring me. He ignored me 2 days, just kept opening my messages and reading them but no reply. It was completely out of nowhere so I blocked him.

‘Hell no’ will suffice.

It doesn't sound like the two of you could share a Twix, let alone a flat - and God forbid a child. Keep him blocked or unblock and say 'it's been nice knowing you' for closure. And for goodness' sake get some counselling or something to help you build a better sense of self and backbone. You deserve better than this.

Op you are not in a relationship with this man.
Do not move in with him and double down on your contraception.

You both need to grow up, you sound incredibly immature, fancy mentioning a late period and a possible pregnancy before you'd even taken a test ! Sort out your contraception before you sleep with someone you hardly know !

Fucking hell I’ve had more communication with my Yodel delivery bloke than you’ve had with this one.

And it’s not a situation-ship or whatever word is used these days, you’ve had a one night stand with a bloke the first time you met, and now think you’re pregnant and he wants to live with you??? It’s not exactly loves young dream is it?

If this is actually real - and it’s one of those threads it’s better it is made up - then hope and pray you’re not pregnant and run a million miles from this completely pathetic immature shit show and grow up before you even think about bringing a child into the world.

Nope, just be direct and explain why. While he says he might not have ‘meant’ to hurt you, the fact is he did. If he can’t acknowledge that and accept his behaviour can have impact (even if unintentional, and I’m not sure it was…) then he is not someone you can move in with. Also, 2 months is no time at all. I think you just need to explain that you do not feel you’re on solid ground with him yet so it’s not the right time. I have a feeling he wants to come across as ‘rescuing’ you and fear he will hold it over you. If he reacts badly to talking about how you feel and what you want, then that’s all you need to know and he’s not someone you can have an adult relationship. Best wishes.

In a nutshell!

Look many of us will have had an ill advised ONS shag, I hope at least the sex was good, we don’t have babies with them or move in together. Chalk it up to experience, call a halt to whatever you want to call this, and move on with your life.

You've been in an on/off situationship with a stranger for 2.5 months and you want to work out how to say no to moving in with him?

YABU for engaging in this nonsense. And don't extend this unreasonable behaviour to a child, FGS!

Wait, are you pregnant? If not, maybe try the injection / implant.

Whether you are pregnant or not, absolutely don't move in with him. ESPECIALLY if you're pregnant, as a baby really can't be in this mad situation with you. As others have said "No thanks" is fine, or if you want to pad it out a bit for some reason "No thanks, we've only met twice and we don't know each other that well".

The whole thing is pure insanity. Just say no thank you and block him. You’ve met him twice and he’s blocked you, started arguments, said he wants to be friends. Carrying on with this in any way will lead to stress, drama and heartbreak

You both need to grow up

This is batshit. Of course you don't move in with him.

You are not even in a situationship. Just block the guy and move on.

And no - you don't need him there when peeing on a stick.

Pregnancy scare in order to get someone to speak to you/see you is the oldest trick in the book

It is some places. I’m off with one of mine

OFGS

You know it's a bad insane idea

You shouldn't even be seeing him

And you shouldn't even be thinking about it

Block again and mean it

I don’t even know why you need this guy to be there when you take the test?

surely you need a clear head and not this lunatic by your side trying to propose to you if it’s positive?

Total bollocks if this an adult writing this, worrying if writer is 15 /16.

I’ve got an imagine of her pissing on the stick and him in his tracksuit with a Lizzy Duke engagement ring in his pocket plus the receipt so he can get a refund if it’s negative 🤦‍♀️

Lots of good advice here. This is not a healthy relationship with a future.

Nope. Oldest trick in the book is telling someone you've just met, that you love them, in the hope that they'll have sex with you.

As above with bells on it

Dosen't sound like someone you'd want as a housemate, even a platonic one.