He has asked me to move in with him, how can I say no nicely?

[Badwitch222]

I am currently in what I would class as a situation-ship.
Long story short we was speaking & dating he would always be hot and cold with me. The first time we met he was telling me that he loves me and then the day after he just wanted to be friends.

we had sex for the first time, we spoke for a few days after. He then started ignoring my messages just opening them and ignoring them so I blocked him last week. I ended up unblocking him yesterday as I had a pregnancy scare my periods are usually like clock work but I have missed my period. I asked him if he would be with me when I did the test to which he said yes.

I told him I would contact him tomorrow with a time and place to meet he said okay and then 20 minutes he kept sending me messages asking if I had been okay, asking me how life has been ect…

So I just told him about life, my landlord is currently wanting to sell up so wants me out. I told him I’m just looking for houses at the moment because of this. He has now offered me to come and move into his flat with him. Whilst the idea is really nice I really don’t think this is a good idea. We spend so much time arguing and that’s just over text message now imagine if we’re just in each others space constantly and his flat is only small.

I tried to brush it off the first time he said it, but he must of noticed because he kept mentioning it either how he’ll be able to look after me ect ect ( not like I do need looking after, I am very independent and I work myself). I just said yeah I’ll have a think about it he wants me to come over today to discuss it.

I also asked him why he was ignoring me on purpose, he said he wasn’t ignoring me at the start but he started to ignore me when I messaged him asking why he was ignoring me. He ignored me 2 days, just kept opening my messages and reading them but no reply. It was completely out of nowhere so I blocked him.

So much wrong here!
Why are you having pregnancy scares after casual sex? Get your contraception locked down properly. This shouldn't be happening.
Why are you asking him to be with you while you take a pregnancy test? Talk about drama. Take responsibility for your own actions and stop using things as a way to get his attention.
He wants you to move in wit him? He's immature and irresponsible and you need to be the grown up here. Stop talking to him about your life. He's not the man for you, and if you only want a casual fling don't bring him in to your life.

They are both as immature as each other

You don’t love someone the first time you meet, he love bombs you then goes hot and cold he is playing games. You got tired of it, blocked him and then unblocked him as you felt low and told him you will speak/message at a later time/day and he completely ignores it and carry on texting. Red flags alert!! If you move in with him you will be repacking your stuff every other week as he will keep changing his mind. He is doing the classic moving forwards as you move back as he is either a player or a commitment phobe.

I knew a guy who was unhappily divorced, very bitter about ex wife, was hot and cold a commitment phobe who after meeting someone wasn’t sure if it was what he wanted and backed off or if she was cautious he started talking about buying a house together literally about a month in the relationship usually the women would say no too soon and he’d dump them. One lady said yes to the romance of it all, they bought a house together, quickly got married and he cheated on her within three months.

Walk away he’s the cat and your the mouse

The first time we met he was telling me that he loves me and then the day after he just wanted to be friends.

This isn’t just a red flag. It’s a huge glowing red flag with sirens on that’s burning.

Tell him “No”. Then block him forever and never speak to him again. Please have some respect for yourself. Life is too fucking short.

This with bells. Jesus christ op, YABU for being such a drama queen.

We have known each other for about 2 months, I’ve met him once properly & the other time was the time that we actually met

I struggle to believe this is real, but in the event it is, NO, you don’t move in with someone you have met twice and have a dramatic text relationship with otherwise for two months. That’s absurd.

You seem extremely young, or vulnerable. Do you have family supports around you?

Far to soon to think of moving in with him, even without the games he's playing with texts etc.

This absolutely bonkers! Unless you're both teenagers of course. Then it's teenage bonkers, which can somewhat be excused for you both being children still. You don't even know this man! You're not even in any kind of relationship with him!

How old are you. Sounds like teen drama?

Or have a baby with!!

Just say NO very clearly. He sounds creepy and stalkery, wanting to 'take care of you' saying he 'loves you' you know that means 'I will try to control your entire life'. You barely know the man, putting it bluntly if you move in with him he'll probably murder you.

Get a stick to pee on immediately. Then you will know where you stand. Don't be waiting around for him.

If I were you, I’d thank my lucky stars (the universe, God, coincidence, whatever works for you…) that this man hadn’t managed to impregnate me.

Being tied to this man (be it through a child or emotionally due to the pregnancy not being viable or an abortion) sounds horrible!

block him, ignore him, make space in your life for decent people. People you won’t have to block!

edit: you saying that you had a pregnancy scare sounded to me as if that was a thing of the past / as if had already found out that you weren’t pregnant.
I hope I didn’t misunderstand you 🤔

This is ridiculous.
Get a friend to be with you when you do a pregnancy test or just do it by yourself. You don't need this person you don't even know with you.
If it's positive then you will need to decide what you want to do but bear in mind this person is not reliable, you don't even know him and there are red flags all over the place.

In the context of what the OP has described as a "relationship", I think "no, fuck off!" might be more appropriate!!!

Lot of these type of threads at the moment 🙄

Please don't reproduce!

I also asked him why he was ignoring me on purpose, he said he wasn’t ignoring me at the start but he started to ignore me when I messaged him asking why he was ignoring me. He ignored me 2 days, just kept opening my messages and reading them but no reply. It was completely out of nowhere so I blocked him

This makes the 2 of you sound about 12

Come on, a pregnancy scare with someone who has already been flaky at best.

You just say no.

Done.

You’re both flaky frankly
stop indulging in all the drama
Regard moving in,No is a complete sentence

the amount of red flags here are astounding - why are you even engaging with this shit, let alone considering moving in. give your head a wobble.

“Thanks for your very kind offer. I appreciate you wanting to help me out but i will be looking for another rental as i enjoy my own space”

He's a wrong un. BAR.*

*Block and Run

I would have done that test yesterday. OP is waiting to do the big reveal with him tomorrow. What a couple of drama queens.

Why do you need to be nice? He hasn't been nice to you. Just say no, that's not what you want.