He has asked me to move in with him, how can I say no nicely?

[Badwitch222]

I am currently in what I would class as a situation-ship.
Long story short we was speaking & dating he would always be hot and cold with me. The first time we met he was telling me that he loves me and then the day after he just wanted to be friends.

we had sex for the first time, we spoke for a few days after. He then started ignoring my messages just opening them and ignoring them so I blocked him last week. I ended up unblocking him yesterday as I had a pregnancy scare my periods are usually like clock work but I have missed my period. I asked him if he would be with me when I did the test to which he said yes.

I told him I would contact him tomorrow with a time and place to meet he said okay and then 20 minutes he kept sending me messages asking if I had been okay, asking me how life has been ect…

So I just told him about life, my landlord is currently wanting to sell up so wants me out. I told him I’m just looking for houses at the moment because of this. He has now offered me to come and move into his flat with him. Whilst the idea is really nice I really don’t think this is a good idea. We spend so much time arguing and that’s just over text message now imagine if we’re just in each others space constantly and his flat is only small.

I tried to brush it off the first time he said it, but he must of noticed because he kept mentioning it either how he’ll be able to look after me ect ect ( not like I do need looking after, I am very independent and I work myself). I just said yeah I’ll have a think about it he wants me to come over today to discuss it.

I also asked him why he was ignoring me on purpose, he said he wasn’t ignoring me at the start but he started to ignore me when I messaged him asking why he was ignoring me. He ignored me 2 days, just kept opening my messages and reading them but no reply. It was completely out of nowhere so I blocked him.

You've met him twice (or once), argue by text when you haven't blocked him and are wondering how to nicely tell him you don't want to move in with him?

There's no planet on which anyone in your shoes should move in with him. So a "I don't think that's a good idea" is the nicest way I can think of. An "are you out of your fucking mind?" is more like I would actually be thinking.

Jesus woman, don't agree to another date let alone moving in with him.

Why do you feel the need to let him down gently? You don't owe him anything, he's ignoring you, running you round the houses, but you feel the need to be nice? Tell him to get fucked.

Perfectly put.

And if you continue seeing him, OP, you'll be a lunatic, too.

Hang on, you've met him once and you think/thought you were pregnant?

Have you heard of the belt and braces approach?

I didn't like to say, but yes.

Indeed.

Is this one of those ones where you want a baby but not a partner?

You’ve only met him twice?

Do you actually suspect you’re pregnant or are you using this as an excuse to get him to talk to you/meet you again?

What a load of immature drama. Who could be arsed with this nonsense?

Is it inset day?

THIS. Period coincidentally being late after a ONS and needing him to be with you to take a test?! 🙄

Yup, he sounds bonkers.

Also, he wants to "take care of you"? Urgh, creepo. He sounds like he couldn't even tie his own shoelaces.

Just say no. This has got off to a terrible start with game playing and point scoring.
That’s not a basis to start a relationship on. Sod the niceties. Just say no

Why are you wasting time on this man? He's loving having you dancing to his tune, isn't he?

Find yourself a nice flat to rent on your own and ffs find a partner who treats you like a real human being.

You know how sometimes you read something and really really really hope none of it is true...

Wow! Poor child if you are pregnant. You've met him twice. Sort out contraception.

Oh, for heaven’s sake, woman! You just say NO. I don’t want to. If you’re not able to do that, you are neither ready for a relationship nor a child. I sincerely hope your test is negative, as baby is the last thing you need, especially with this man.

Why do you have to say it 'nicely'. Just say 'no, I'm good as I am thanks'. All sounds like far too much drama.

This sentence doesn't make much sense, bearing in mind you've only met twice. 'Dating' implies more than one date.

Long story short we was speaking & dating he would always be hot and cold with me.

So you met him, he told you he loved you, but then he blew hot and cold.

Second time you met you had sex, but a few days later he started ignoring you.

Now you think you may be pregnant?

Fucks sake, let's hope not, because no child deserves either of you as parents.

Give him the old heave-ho and double up on your contraception if you're going to rush into having sex with virtual strangers.

2 months?
And all this drama?
Bonkers.
How about "no thanks, I've only known you 8 weeks and you've spent most of it being a cunt. I'd rather eat shit."

I think you both sound very immature .

Just say NO, clearly.
Nicely is not that important for you.

Oh god, you both sound like people who need a constant drama to keep things interesting.

Honestly just keep him blocked, there was no need to invent a reason invite him to watch you piss on a stick.

This

You both really need to grow up, this sounds super immature from both sides.

As for your question, you tell him that you want know someone a lot better before moving in with them/prefer to have a relationship be be consistently good before taking the next steps and not so up and down/point out that you have spent most of the short time you've known each other arguing and blocking each other so feel you should continue to take it slow until you can both be in a healthier place.

There is really no question here I'm shocked you couldn't come up with that answer yourself. Sometimes we aren't immature, reactive or insecure people but certain others bring that out in us...

Exactly.