Is this the behavior of an adult man?

[Adri4]

Hi there! We met on a dating site. We talked for 2 months, he said that he fell in love with me, compliments every day, that he was afraid of losing me, that I am the one whom he wanted all his life and he wants kids with me. We live on different continents, he said he wanted to come see me after he saw me on a video call. At first he said that he would come in 2 months, but now he says in 4 months. The guy constantly wanted to talk to me via video, but I have work, I have other things to do, I can get sick, I’m a living person, but he continued to insist, although he saw that such pressure was stressing me out. Moreover, there was no trust in him, if he were really in love, he would have come to see me long ago. Relations began to get worse. Then he disappeared for 2 weeks, came back and said that he had a lot on his mind. I forgave him, but the relationship cooled. Trust is gone. He admitted that his ex showed up, but he just talked to her and gave her advice in a difficult situation, although she wants to get the relationship back but he said he doesn’t want her in his life, she cheated on him. One day he asked if I could talk via video today, I said that I could in an hour or tomorrow, he replied, “choose it yourself, im home”, later I texted that I was ready to talk, he said that he would be home in 15 minutes, he came and texted that he was ready to talk, after 5 minutes I called via video call, and he picked up the phone without a video call, just like a regular call and said that he had to get out, he was in the car, and said “sorry it didn’t work out today, let’s do it tomorrow.” I turned off the video, then texted “I thought you’re home” “next time be more specific in time”, he wrote “you are very difficult” I replied “yes, you can’t handle me, find someone easier” he replied that he's done talking to me and blocked me. Is this the behavior of an adult 43 year old man?

I'm wondering how he could fake his presence on live video?

My friend had this with a man from Zimbabwe who's been asking for £250 for a back operation. She's also jealous of all his female friends on Facebook. Especially if he puts hearts on their posts. Imagine getting £250 from all of them? "But I really like him" is all I get when I try to talk sense into her.

Watch any series about romance fraud - it’s very easy to do when they steal photos and videos from Instagram

But initially he asked my FB and his FB account was created in 2013 with real relevant friends and family (I found them through likes). But I don’t know, maybe you’re right, I just can’t imagine how you can fake a video with a real person when he talks, laughs, walks around the apartment and shows some stuff in his room.

I would never give money to a guy. If a man asked me for a cent, he would automatically cease to be a man for me

Oh well, let's hope he asks you for money fairly soon, so that you can block his sorry arse.
For good.

He might be a real person and still give you a sob story and ask you for money.

He already blocked me) after I told him
that he can’t handle me , typical narc

Sure. I still think that as a narcissist he can’t be lonely and he used me , my time, my energy to fill the void till he can find someone real and when he found it he just cuts me off. That’s all.

You haven't answered my question @Adri4, is English not your first language? If it isn't (and I suspect not), the chances are that you would not be aware if his isn't either and he is translating from another language entirely. But, whatever, this has all the hallmarks of a stereotypical scammer and is following the script.

For goodness sake, do not engage any further with this person, however 'real' you want, or imagine, him to be...

Are you South African Greek? When I was your age, in cape town too, I worked with some geek south African women and was quite shocked how insulated they were and how conservative their upbringings were. Admittey 20+ years ago now.

I also hate to say this because it's so.awful but there is definitely a type of white man who are attracted to women of colour, especially from developing.cointries because they seem to think they can patronise and control them. Hard to.explain but again, I have seen it and I am sure.you have seen it in SA?

No, it’s not my first language, you’re right.
No, I’m done with him, he blocked me, I blocked him , and he will not be able to contact me bc he doesn’t know my social , my number, nothing about me. He blocked me after I told him “you can’t handle me, find someone easier”

He is not a narcassist ! He is a scammer

fgs open your eye befroe he takes all you have. .

But, no offense OP, your English isn't perfect - so how do you know there were no mistakes?

I thought that, too.

I can assure you that people in need of money are perfectly likely to be male.

Watch the documentaries suggested. You’ll see. It’s very unnerving, but it can be done.

Have you watched Love Rats on Netflix? It's an eye opener!

I would be seriously suspicious of anyone who professes to be in love with you after chatting online for 2 months and never having actually met you. It sounds like he is grooming you and building up to scamming money out of you. Block him on all platforms and forget about him. If you're OLD look for someone nearby that you can have a real relationship with!

Just as an addition - ANY man (narcissist or not) who says he loves you without ever having met you in real life, is a fantasist. He is putting his 'perfect woman' template onto you and imagines himself in love with that fantasy woman. He cannot possibly know you, however long you have been talking for, until he has met you and experienced you in all circumstances and moods.

This..
Walk away. Block.
Him ‘ disappearing’ is him scamming another woman he thought would take the bait quicker.

this was a depressing read for a 27yr old woman. yeah but no but yeah but......sigh. with respect,you need some help op, none of this is normal, not him and not your take on it either.

This is not a relationship so he can't dump you. This is someone you have spoken to online who almost certainly is not telling the truth about anything.