Is this the behavior of an adult man?

[Adri4]

Hi there! We met on a dating site. We talked for 2 months, he said that he fell in love with me, compliments every day, that he was afraid of losing me, that I am the one whom he wanted all his life and he wants kids with me. We live on different continents, he said he wanted to come see me after he saw me on a video call. At first he said that he would come in 2 months, but now he says in 4 months. The guy constantly wanted to talk to me via video, but I have work, I have other things to do, I can get sick, I’m a living person, but he continued to insist, although he saw that such pressure was stressing me out. Moreover, there was no trust in him, if he were really in love, he would have come to see me long ago. Relations began to get worse. Then he disappeared for 2 weeks, came back and said that he had a lot on his mind. I forgave him, but the relationship cooled. Trust is gone. He admitted that his ex showed up, but he just talked to her and gave her advice in a difficult situation, although she wants to get the relationship back but he said he doesn’t want her in his life, she cheated on him. One day he asked if I could talk via video today, I said that I could in an hour or tomorrow, he replied, “choose it yourself, im home”, later I texted that I was ready to talk, he said that he would be home in 15 minutes, he came and texted that he was ready to talk, after 5 minutes I called via video call, and he picked up the phone without a video call, just like a regular call and said that he had to get out, he was in the car, and said “sorry it didn’t work out today, let’s do it tomorrow.” I turned off the video, then texted “I thought you’re home” “next time be more specific in time”, he wrote “you are very difficult” I replied “yes, you can’t handle me, find someone easier” he replied that he's done talking to me and blocked me. Is this the behavior of an adult 43 year old man?

I read Keanu Reeves Is Not In Love With You recently (library copy) about romance scammers and even though I believe I'm reasonably savvy, the lengths to which these people will go to is terrifying. AI has made it even more difficult to spot them.

So I'm glad that you've cut this guy off and are resolved to not contact him again however sad that you've lost 2 months of your life to him, and a little worried that you still seem to believe in him to a certain extent.

I love KR , he is my type of man, noble, serious, with some principle .. yes, i think about him but only in the way that he took my precious time and of course when someone texts you everyday you start to get used to him. I need time to digest all this.

You're really not getting it 🙈 OP do you have a carer? If you do, please get them to read this thread with you.

no, I wouldn't do that :)

I think I did 2 serious mistakes than decrease my value. The first one is that I didn’t block him when he sends me his fantasies, the second one when he ghosted me for 2 weeks. Even if he’s real.

Thank you for the advice. But believe me I did a good research about him

@Adri4 no, you really didn't.

You simply believed everything he told you and clicked on links provided by him.

As I said before, you're a scammer's dream.

SMH. We're not getting through to you at all.

Where are you based @Adri4
Are you in the UK?

Just read the updates about his injury.
Next level - he hasn’t got medical insurance in the U.S., needs surgery, could cost 20,000 dollars?

@Adri4 Do you have friends in the real world? Do you talk to many people in the real world? If you do, have you mentioned any of this to them? Because it sounds as though you need the winds of reality to whistle through your romantic fantasies and blow all thoughts of this man away. He is not who he says he is, however much 'research' you think you have done (it is very easy to fake all this stuff). He never intended to come to meet you. He was working up to asking you for money. You realise that his stories don't hold water, and that he's lying to you, so well done for that.

But please please talk to more people in the real world and if you ever find yourself in this situation again, ask someone else to have a read through of the messages you are getting and to tell you whether or not the person sounds genuine.

It does sound like that will be the next move.

I'm also puzzled about an injury that stops someone from working in Sales, yet enables them to drive a vehicle.

I’m in Cape Town.

Yes, I told some of my friends about him , one of my friend told me that he hasn't shown himself to be either good or bad yet and eventually he can asks for money … The second one told me that my demands for a man are too high, that with such high demands I will be left alone and that his disappearance for 2 weeks is normal on the talking stage. Another one (she’s psychologist) said that in the beginning he behaved according to the script, typically, as with everyone, a fairy tale about having children together, but then he began to realize that everything had become serious and began to think seriously, there were women and allegedly chose me and now he real, behaves as he is and now he weighs every step and therefore said that he needs to think about coming

“I'm also puzzled about an injury that stops someone from working in Sales, yet enables them to drive a vehicle.” Yes, it’s obvious.

Obvious?
What is the injury?

The shoulder. Had it while working out. And he said he disappeared for 2 weeks because he was depressed about his injury. And I remember he said : “if I’ll stay injured after the shot you won’t see me?”

Definite scam.

he has told you he lives in the US. He probably doesn’t. His profile picture will be of someone else. Do a reverse google search on it.

Have you ever seen or spoken him? Not just pictures, but video call etc?

can you please block him? You don’t know him, and he’s said some crazy things like having children and a future with you.

This man doesn’t exist. He will likely be messaging multiple women with the same story. It’s a money making scheme. Sorry

A shoulder injury wouldn't stop you from working in Sales though.

Conversely, it could easily be highly problematic to drive all day, for a living, with an injured shoulder.

He lives in the US, I’m going to explain: Before started talking to him I did research about him and ended up in the white pages and found his apartment address with pics of the street and when we talked FaceTime I asked him to show me the outside view and it occurred the same street that I saw in the white pages.

Exactly. And it wouldn't stop him from coming if he was so crazy about me (like he said)

Jeez, you're a lost cause.

I'll have another try.

All of that can faked.

Ok )) anyway he is psycho

You can't love someone you don't know and have never met in real life. You are not in a relationship with this man. Pictures can be stolen from genuine accounts, videos can be manipulated, any social media footprint can be faked and it's easy to add fake 'family members' accounts to appear to be genuine. These scammers always say they're from the US. However, their English is usually poor because they use Google Translate, to type the messages from their own language. They use words out of context and use words that no man who's first language is English would use. Sometimes the English starts off great, and then seems to get worse, this is because there is more than one man pretending to be the person who is communicating. You only know what social media is telling you, and that can be faked. The reality is that it's unlikely this person is genuine. It's a scam centre in Nigeria or somewhere similar. Block this person and never respond to these type of messages again.

Is this for real?

@Adri4, may I ask a very personal question? Forgive me, but your English is not brilliant - you say that you are in Cape Town - do you speak Xhosa, Afrikaans, Tswana, Zulu, Sesotho, Setswana, Ndebele or Shona by any chance? If so, does your Greek admirer in the US, speak to, or communicate with you, in English or try to translate to one of these languages?

Crossposted with @Sassybooklover, who seems to be thinking along the same lines as me

He communicated in English (with no mistakes) , he said he was born in the US