MIL announced our baby's gender on Facebook. It has upset me. Could I be overreacting?

[AmberPoet]

Sometimes I really hate social media and the trouble it brings. My MIL has decided to take it upon herself to announce that myself and my husband are having a daughter on Facebook, without us posting or consulting us 1st. I don't believe there is any malice in it, but I think it's overexcitement and a lack of common sense. Okay we didn't communicate that this wasn't to be announced on Facebook before we had the chance to tell everyone, because it didn't enter our heads that she would actually do such a thing. I'm starting to think that we need to communicate all of our boundaries and like right now. What does everyone else make of this?
I am trying to brush this one particular thing to one side, but I can't help but think of what she will be like when the baby comes along.

That sounds incredibly petty. Why not just communicate better about whatever line-crossings there had been?

No. This news pertains to OP’s confidential medical information regarding her body and her pregnancy. It shouldn’t be downplayed.

@AmberPoet glad it cheered you up! It's infuriating and I completely understand but you're right not to make a big argument over it. Definitely time for some boundaries now though.

And if they're not adhered to then.....welcome to the world baby Gavin Jr 😉

Doesn’t a MIL count as close family? She is after all the parent of the baby’s father, pretty close in my book. Yes she has overstepped the mark, but I doubt if many of her Facebook friends will care or pass it on, ok she shouldn’t have done it, but if you want to keep a secret you don’t tell Anyone!

But she presumably is among your ‘nearest and dearest’ (well, for your DH, if not you), hence you telling her, hence her having that information to put on FB in the first place?

Another entitled grandma, too self obsessed to consider the feelings of the parents. We have a blanket ban on grandparents publishing anything to do with our children on social media. Much easier that way.

It's not about the information that was shared.
It's about the fact MIL announced this rather than letting the proud parents make that announcement themselves.

I'd be so upset if someone did this to me. It's your news to share, not hers! Yes it's fine to be excited but she's 100% stepped on your toes here. She should have waited for you to finish telling people yourself.

Laughable.

I'm no longer on FB but what I've realised about certain people is the get their validation externally, so the race to be " first" and even if its some one else's news they make it all about them.
I would be firm and tell her it's not on but also keep things to yourself going forward
Name, birth details, do not tell her how it went or personal medical stuff etc

But they’d shared the information. With her.

In all honesty no one really cares because it's you and grandparents really who are excited about the smaller details - people will probably even forget, people are really just pleased the baby is ok - maybe just tell MIL because she'll probably continue this trend and let the world know she's arrived before you get a chance ... now that WOULD be a nightmare!! ... also be clear on what types of photo are or aren't allowable - I was really 😬 about anyone taking bf photographs to the point where I don't bf in front of anyone except my DH ... so if you're similar, just get that covered too before she arrives

This is utterly depressing.

It was inconsiderate of her and not really her place but the reality is the only people who really care about a baby’s gender are the parents and grandparents. No one else is interested in what you’re having. It makes no difference to them.

This. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ooop! Found another!

Totally agree. It’s about overstepping boundaries

Also, point of information, Mil announced the baby’s sex, not gender. Might have to wait a few years for the baby to decide that one for themselves.🙂

Agree. I’d understand if she’d announced the pregnancy when the couple were keeping it quiet, but she literally shared an unremarkable 50/50 fact they’d told her, and which won’t have caused much stir in anyone.

Ah come on. Listen, nobody cares whether I, you, or anyone else has a boy or a girl. But to the parents, it's the most important thing in the world, and they have every right to want to give the news themselves.

Nobody should announce someone else's news. ANY news. Without their consent.

Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. And also nothing to do with this thread, but you just can't help yourself, can you?

@Silenus they tried to. Several times. But she refused to listen and instead went on about how as a grandparent she had 'rights' and could post what she wanted and tell whoever she wanted. Coz rights.

So they let her embrace those rights fully. And it worked and she learned a lesson about whose child it actually was and how serious they were about keeping it off social media. Petty would have been refusing her a visit or not letting her see the baby. This was a joke that got the message across in response to some pretty shitty communication all the way through the pregnancy from her.

its different if MIL told people personally and quietly but the fact that shes announced it on FB is completely overstepping boundries. Yes, as others have mentioned - no one actually cares about the sex of the child, but thats not the point. it means something to OP and her partner and it should have been left to be a special moment for OP when she decided to tell closest friends/family

”a blanket ban.”

whatever happened to politely requesting?

Unclench. There, doesn’t that feel better?

Because I’m not ‘requesting’ that they don’t publish photos and information about my children. I’m telling them not to.