Sister in law asks to have my baby overnight

[Pearlrosepeach]

Hi, I'm early 20s, have a 9 month old baby

Ex partner (babys father) and I haven't been together since baby was about 4 months old

Co parenting was hell at first. We had friends and family doing the hand overs etc. Fast forward a few months we are in a much better place and get on great as co parents! I couldn't ask for it to be any better.

My sons father has only ever had him over night once. He doesn't do over nights due to working early hours. But he has his own days and times where he sees baby and it all works out best for us, we are happy this way.

Anyway my sons fathers sister has messaged me 2 days ago (I still haven't replied) asking if she can have my son over night one night, which I'm not really comfortable with anyone having over night at the moment with my son. He's in a lovely routine at the moment, dinner. Bath bed etc.

But not just that, my sons father and his sister do not get along themselves so in the message she said "we will keep it a secret" meaning let's not tell my sons father.

To be honest I'm not happy about this either, as she witnessed out co parenting at the begining when it was hell, and for her now to see that we are finally getting on great for our son. To then ask me to lie to his father! No I'm not happy about about this

What do u guys think.. also if you have or had a baby at one point when did you let them do over nights, just for the sake of it.. I mean it's not even like I've got plans myself that I'd need a baby sitter.. it's very random, why not take my son out to a park or somthing why do u need an over night

Well done.

Well done but almost more worrying.

definitely tell your baby’s dad. He might have an insight into what is going on with the sister. And I think needs to know what she was doing!

Well done for saying no.

It's so odd, out of the blue, I think you should be very wary of her.

And yes, tell your ex.

Very weird behaviour. But you did the best thing.

Well done! Definitely tell child's father, including about her sulking when you said no.

Has she got a boyfriend? This is preying on my mind a bit, it’s starting to seem more sinister the more I think about it. Hope to God I’m wrong.

She's an idiot! If she grumps again just say no, you've got a routine set up and you're not going to lie to your ex as it'll destable your relationship with him

And if she is the sort to do the grumpy silent treatment strop - she is not fit to look after your baby.

Do you know what was the source of the rift?

An ex and his mum were completely cut off by his sister and she would never explain why.

Thanks for your update OP, keep up the good work. Let her sulk. If you do have her over to visit do not leave your baby alone with her.

Good for you, well done!

Your next job is to not take the lack of reply personally or make a story about it in your head. Stick to firm facts. She hadn't replied. You don't need a reply. Job done.

She has got a boyfriend yes

Even more stick to your guns. It may not be her request.

Glad you're not handing your baby over to strangers.

Do not hand your baby over to her. Or her boyfriend who may be interested. Women have been known to do insane things to please men.

🤐🤐🤐

As she's such a keen aunty I wonder if she'll be making time to visit little baby and build the relationship she so clearly pretends she wants without the sleep over element. 🤔🤔

This is what I'm wondering, on the message I sent back I said "you are more than welcome to take baby out for hour or so with your child but no sleepovers" she replied bacm saying she understood, but as she lives an hour drive away it would be to far to do that

So I guess she won't be seeing baby lol

I’d be worried about this it sounds a bit creepy

“she replied bacm saying she understood, but as she lives an hour drive away it would be to far to do that”

One hours drive to see a niece and try to build up a loving relationship is nothing! Most people would drive well over that distance.

I second everyone being very wary of this.

That would be a big, fat no from me. No explanation needed.

Why are you calling her your sister in law? She isn’t.

What a weird thing to ask. It's painful enough looking after one's own newborn let alone volunteering to look after someone else's "for fun"! Definitely strange.

I don’t think you need to read anything into it. She asked. You responded with a fake reason for your refusal. She looked for a solution to the problem you raised. You were honest about your response and more direct. She backed off.

The take home is just be honest in the first place. It ISN’T rude to say no, and you don’t need to lie about why.

Actually I think it's an alarm bell.

She only wants the baby overnight.

Not for a visit.

It seems it's overnight or nothing.

Why?

I wouldn't even let her have the child out of your sight.

I wouldn't let her have the baby for an hour even with her own children. She isn't actually your SIL, she's your baby's aunt and you don't owe her anything. What did your baby's dad have to say about all of this, does he have any suspicions/trust issues with her?

I still haven't mentioned to babys dad, as I haven't seen him long enough to bring it up

And yes I agree with everyone else, very strange request . Why would anybody want a baby over night just to watch them sleep

Phone him or message him, it's important he knows what's been going on, for all you know she wants to harm your baby to get back at him for something or other. He might know something about her which is why she doesn't want you telling him. As your baby's other parent he should know that someone is trying to get his baby alone overnight.