Do you expect a date to check you got home safely?

[NoySaga]

I went on a lovely 2nd date last night with a guy who I really like, we had a great time- lots of laughter, kissing, he even suggested we go somewhere else for a drink after we had finished dinner.
He tried to get me to go back to his place but I declined on this occasion and we have a date arranged for Saturday.
My problem is, it was cold, the roads were icy and dark and I had a 30 minute drive home from the restaurant. There was no text to check I’d got home safely or to say he had a nice time. Is it outdated to expect a guy to text and check you made it home safely? I feel it’s not very gentlemanly of him to have not messaged last night, or am I overreacting on this?

Sounds like he’s just wanting a shag and isn’t really thinking or concerned about you as a person.

It's something I would expect a boyfriend to do not someone I've met twice.

I don't know about him asking about me getting home safe - I'm a perfectly capable adult and I'd find it patronising and wouldn't really expect it to cross his mind unless it was like a blizzard or my car was playing up or something.

But a "had a nice evening" sort of text would be nice.

I’d expect some kind of follow up either later that evening or next day. Checking whether you’ve got in ok sounds a bit too ‘mum’ like

Tbh no, you are an adult

No. You’re a grown adult. It was 30 mins.

Did you send him a message to say you'd had a good time?

No not at that stage

I would have expected that as standard, think it's pretty rude of him not to.
I'd be slightly annoyed that he didn't check.

Did you check he'd got home OK & tell him youd had a nice evening?

This.

I'd be disappointed tbh.
DH text me to make sure I got home ok after our first date!

Yes I would expect a text to check i’d got home.

I'd have found a text a bit clingy tbh. I wouldn't like it.

Did you text him to check he had gotten hone OK? If no, why would you expect the same?

This. Do you feel equal in your relationships op? If not, why not?

Yes. This .

Not if you’re driving. Maybe if you had a long walk?

Yup. He was after a shag. I would expect a text. That's normal etiquette - just to say he enjoyed the time together and checking in to ensure you got home safely. Sling him back.

If you hadn't got home OK, what did you expect him to do? You surely would have called someone you knew if you actually needed help, not him.

i vote to drop him as well, ignore the posters who are more than happy to be left for dead by their dates because they are such cool girls (or men, i’m not sure)

My last date was a couple of years ago but he always asked me text him once I was home, but we lived quite far away fron each other and met roughly half way.

and if out with friends we always text to say we're home. But I'm in my 60s it just seems the normal thing to do for us.

As the above replies highlight we’re all different
so he’s not wrong but your both not on the same page with things like this

Did you tell him.you had a nice evening and check he got home safe? Equality works both ways...

I think most women would check the man had got home ok too if he was driving in snowy conditions. But in this case, it sounds like it was OP doing the difficult drive home, so yes he should have asked. It would definitely put me off that he didn’t. My colleague always checks I got home ok after I visit their office (4hr journey back). Its just common courtesy.