Gay hook up apps and straight married men

[JAY89J]

God I don't know what has gotten into me lately but I suddenly have no hope left for men. I know I'm being irrational, but when you have seen what I've seen, and know what I know, it would leave you with doubts also. I just don't know where to go from here?

My gay friend has always told me about his sexual adventures or his friends adventures. Sometimes he will show me his hook up apps and I'll see who is online. Sometimes I'll hear stories that tells me who it was and whats going on in their world.

I was also online recently, and I read a story about a woman who was 6 months pregnant. Her husband and her usually had a really healthy sex life but since she got pregnant he was finding it difficult to do it. She got off nightshift work one day and went to bed. She woke up with a man closing a taxi door outside and entering their house. She crept downstairs to see who it was only to see through the closed door window panel, her husband having sex with a man from grindr (he eventually told her this and added that he had been doing it for 6 months). He never saw her and she went upstairs in shock and sat there not really knowing what to do. He came upstairs 30 mins later to have a shower after his friend left, and seen the look on her face, and he knew she knew. He begged and pleaded and she told him to leave. For 10 days he tried to get her back or to talk but she wasn't ready. On the 10th day he got a call from her father at the hospital to say she had lost their baby daughter due to complications related to stress. He tried to take his own life but was unsuccessful and kept apologising but obviously it was too late. What made it worse was that she was 44 and that was most probably her last chance to have a child, and he took that from her.

On reddit there are subreddits, and one is bi married men. On one post it had "discreet down low (no one knows or will ever know he cheats with men, is what this means) man who is seeking a man" to have sex with and he "can't host (they can't do it at his house is what he means." He posted a pic of his genitals and in the background there was this beautifully decorated home with his baby's toys all over the floor. I couldn't help but wonder where his wife was and how heartbroken she would be if she saw those pictures.

Another story is about a woman who keeps catching her man seeking out men online, but hasn't told him she's caught him again. She is thinking of getting a sex change. She's obviously feeling destroyed and her self esteem is shattered with him. It's all so sad and I feel angry for these women.

One woman on YouTube told her story about a date she went on and the guy was handsome and seemed like he was attracted to her. But only 10 mins in and... his boyfriend ended up showing up, and shouting at this poor girl, who had no idea. The date was all "I'm sorry babe. I wouldn't cheat on you, I just was just talking to her as a friend." Completely dismissing her altogether, and he ended up just walking out with his angry boyfriend shouting "you need to stop doing this to me Ryan. Why did I trust you again..." He left her with the bill also. 😄

These stories, along with many more, and all the info that I get from my friend and the apps, it all has me actually wondering if any men are straight? There are way too many who are recently getting caught due to the power of the internet, and it's shedding light on something women never think about. Do men actually want us, or just the masculine full straight reputation, or the sheilds from stigma and then their children? All these women who were in happy relationships or even some in the bad ones, wouldn't think for a second that their men are out there getting dick on the side. Their too busy looking for other women. The amount of gay for pay porn stars nowadays is outragious. Which means that it's now just a normal part of our culture and maybe some of us haven't caught up yet.

Most just want sex or the dick and not the men behind it though. Many of them want and need prostate orgasms, and can't cum as easily with vaginal sex. Some are kidding themselves and are gay but many are bisexual. Unfaithful bisexuals at that. Where does the line get drawn though? Some of these men I would have never have thought they were upto all sorts with men. Thanks to all these desperate looking weirdos, I now have lost all faith in men. When it comes to sex (and I'm no prude) is this all they want from us? One man wrote that us women are now finally getting a taste of our own medicine for all the years we controlled the sexual activities, and now they are able go just get it whenever, and with whoever. Mostly thanks to sexuality becoming more socially acceptable in every sense. Are women just a sheild from stigma and an incubator. But the men can still give them better orgams (prostate orgasms are strong)? My heads frazzled, but everywhere I turn there is something to remind me, and I feel like this is the new normal. Why is it so off putting for some women to think of their men with men sexually? Or is it the thought that their man prefers men sexually? Now if a man is interested, all I think is that he is only trying to say he is attracted to women because society has conditioned him this way or he just wants the sheild and children. That can't be true surely? Can I go back to being blissfully unaware please? Or even a lesbian? Rant over, sorry.

I agree. I think you're right. My issue is that the number of men has risen. To the point that closeted men are rising in the celebrity cases which have risen and also the true crime stories. My issue is that it's a lottery in who you love in life, and I just dont want the risk of having that baggage. I was just wondering what is going on, really. I do think women are naive to how most men look at relationships and sex. Men can separate sex and emotions, so if it's there on a plate with no consequences, then why wouldn't they try it? People need to stop being so naive and gullable to how the underbelly of sexual spaces online and offline works. The men who are looking will shock you. The amount of older teens and young 20 year olds who are "straight" and selling themselves on escorts pages offering "masages" under people's noses is sick and it almost annoys me when we only really hear about helping the women who are conned into this sex work. These men are traumatised, too. It's almost like we actively try to forget this side of it. Many are straight with impulsive control issues and childhood trauma who have come from poverty. Many have girlfriends but secretly do this to pay for colleges, or a better lifestyle, and most tragically, for their addictions. But they all do it because they believe there will be no consequences. But you are right that not ALL men DO. But most men COULD and many men WILL.

Look at Ralph Shortey. Advertised sex with his wife and caught and groomed a teenager for a year with promises if sex with his wife, claiming selling his body for sex is normal and happens to everyone, and then supplied him with addictive drugs to have sex with him, to which he managed to have twice. The boys girlfriend then caught him going into a motel and called his dad. His dad called police and now former Oklahoma senator Ralph Shortey is in prison for sex trafficking. This happened a lot. Even in the UK, there was the labour MP Keith Vaz, who was paying boys for sex online. He only got caught after he was buying drugs texting them he wanted "ketamin for a gay fuelled sex orgy" with these rent boys who he rented one of his spare houses to. His wife took him back like an idiot. These are all fairly recent, and it may just be a sign of the times. I'm aware that these types of situations are maybe not out of the minority yet space yet, but it's seems to be heading to the borderline.

Looking at it from a hetero pov - if a husband or wife or partner had ‘urges’ to have sex with somebody else and acted on them, that’s called infidelity or cheating. What the hell is the difference? It’s having sex with someone else, which is not tolerated by most ppl in a monogamous relationship. If they want sex with someone else as well as a main relationship they need to be in a different type of relationship with different and agreed expectations.

Yes, I agree. If you are talking about that quote, that is from a bi man to a woman who caught her husband ordering male escorts. I don't think those things. I didn't really make the quote visibly clear enough, though.

With the hetro pov - What also isn't talked about much is how these people get aroused from the whole taboo and secrecy of the situation itself. There's a word for it (which I have forgotten), and it is mostly the people who engage in a lot of porn use throughout the years. I'm not antiporn. I like it myself, but these last few years are when I've realised how things can slowly turn bad, with porn added in.

Just a FYI (no relation no original topic) - What's weird is Ted Bundys' last interview warned people about porn use and how his obsession with violence and sex started. He looked at crime magazines with women tied up, and some people then went on to peep in windows or flash others.

This is all about trust and knowing you could pick a nice man who looks decent with no red flags. He then claims to want the same things you do and seems to have his life together and cares for you and your wellbeing, to then have it fall apart years down the line. That's what these women who find out about their man's extracurricular activities are facing. These men have to be great manipulators and liars to hide what they do behind their partners back.

My OH is more interested in anal sex than piv so I have wondered if he secretly is into men.. that is my comment to add to this!

I'd love to disagree with you OP but I was married to what I thought was a lovely, quiet, geeky straight man for 20 years. Turned out he was bi and trying to cheat on me with anything that moved. Have you seen that disgusting scene on Brokeback Mountain where the poor wife is being shagged doggy style while her husband is pretends she's a man. I'd been having the same done to me.

I would never have married a bi man if I'd known he was (despite being bi myself). Bi men and bi woman are very different IMO. I've given up men for good now.

We are close friends with a gay couple and a single gay man.. They all say that the things some married men get up to are repulsive.

Theres many reasons for this, and it isn't always the worst outcome. The best thing you can do is ask him why he has an anal obsession all of a sudden? Ask him if it's his porn use? Tell him it's a safe space so that if it is porn use, he will feel OK in telling you the truth. A lot of guys really want to be honest with women about their need for sex and the kind of sex they want. Some men push their luck, and many men have ruined it for others. 😄 The key is compromise. Which I must admit, can be hard for us girls when we have an expectation of what a relationship should be.

Anal. Sometimes, it's just tighter. If he has a tight grip when he masturbates then they get used to that certain grip feeling and can't do the normal grip feeling from piv. I've heard some guys liking anal for that reason, which doesn't mean that I'm saying their women are too vaginally loose. That's always a ridiculous statement, usually from immature men.

If you are talking about pegging him then I have heard 3 older women (I beleive it was a post on here from a while ago, but I may be wrong) who ended up leaving or divorcing their husbands because they wouldn't do PIV anymore. These men became obsessive about it slowly over time and were trying to get these women to constantly peg them. Then, when the men would eventually give in and try PIV again, they couldn't orgasm. They were so used to the prostate sensations at that point as these orgasms are very strong and can be done continuously with no semen needed. That baffled me, but it makes sense when they can be sensitive to grip tightness. So then why can't prostate play also be one that they only get used to? Prostate orgasms are intense for men, which can have them feeling very euphoric and allows them to orgasm over and over again, which can make some men become obsessed. After they experience those continuous euphoric feelings then it can be hard to go back to what they may feel are just vanilla orgasms. That's why I feel there is a small portion of "straight" men who maybe aren't physically attracted to any men they have sex with, but they enjoy prostate play too much. A lot of men discuss this on posts online. It's still a huge boundary for me. After I read that post and a few others I realised you can be playing with fire if the guy is already obsessive around sex and if he likes taboo porn-like situations, along with the male not being attentive to his partners needs, all aren't great signs at that point.

The whole taboo and porn-like situation of anal and pegging takes them away from the "vanilla" missionary-like sex they have, which is what can arous them also. I think porn and sex addicts usually end up down this road with taboo arousal situations. I used yo roll my eyes when another celeb used sex addiction as a justification. But now I think it's true. When something feels good physically but you emotionally don't feel good and have not been taught the right tools to help yourself feel better then you will want to escape somewhere that changes those emotions internally for a moment.

I wonder how much porn he watches?

FYI - I think having kinks and fetishes is perfectly fine as long as your partners are into it or know about it, and no one gets hurt. So there is no shame in what you like as long as it's legal. What we need to do it educate women to not just think of relationships as disney princess movies. I'm sure some can be that way. Unfortunately, there are a lot more women who are not prepared when facing a man they love or care about who then shows her how to be emotionally and sexually selfish. Which is why you may have those women hanging on to those men who do cheat because they are unprepared and not aware of how powerful sex and be for them when there's no consequences. They will just fall in love with their potential and the man who those men made them believe they could be. I also don't think women are saints. Some women are just as cruel. I think some women are taught that men early on that men only want sex and so they decide not to care for their partners as they should. We need something in the middle. We need to know that not every man who looks and acts like a gentleman is telling you the truth, and not every man you meet wants just sex and to use you and hurt you. We need a middle ground where people are honest about what they want from their partners sexually. We need to not set a new standard for hetrosexual relationships, to the point where women are expecting men to cheat with men and women when they claim to be straight, beyond just a small minority of men. I don't like the gap that's becoming wider between the two genders, and it seems to be getting worse.

Most of the time, it's not the people that they are having sex with that makes them do it. It can be the overall situation where the secrecy and taboo nature of it makes them aroused. Many men who do this can also like the prostate play, and they don't want to ask women to peg them.

The fact that he still took a risk in hurting you continuously shows you what kind of man he is. Regardless of who the person is that he cheated on you with, and how perfect his future partners are who he ends up with, they will never be enough for him, I think. They become insatiable. I was asked out on a night out when i went out with friends. I had been arguing with my ex, who I was angry at. Even with that anger, I still felt sick the minute a kind man asked me out or back to his. Just the thought of cheating and the risk of hurting a man, who I loved at the time, was making me feel upset and guilty when I had no intention of doing so. I understand not every cheating situation is black and white, but I can't imagine consciously choosing to take that risk in hurting someone, over and over again, with someone I claim to love.

This wasn't a you problem. It was a him problem. A selfish problem!

Did you notice anything before you found out? Do you see the rise in numbers of these men, at all? If you don't mind me asking or sharing, how did you find out, and what did he say afterwards? Is he dating men now?

Maybe more men than we think are bisexual but because of stigma don’t want to admit it. Less internet based but I feel like I’ve read a few times that men will often turn to men when women aren’t available. So in countries where sex before marriage is frowned on and in single sex environments. Maybe more women are too in all fairness.

I’m sure NAMALT but enough of them and then there are blokes who get caught stuffing their penises in anything remotely hole shaped. Pot holes, trees, exhaust pipes. Worse if it’s got a face, poor Henry.

I suspect every A&E in the country has spent a decent amount of time removing things from straight men’s bottoms that “accidentally” got sat on and then were stuck.

I think we hear about it more with the internet plus it’s more accessible. I also believe people write all sorts of made up stuff too. algorithms are great for confirmation bias as you get stuck in a cycle of information that gets increasingly more bizarre / shocking.

Hi, yes, sorry, I was agreeing with you and talking about the quote you posted ☺️

I also agree re the Ted Bundy warning you mentioned. There’s always been ppl, mainly men who have been on the lookout for the next taboo or deviant thrill, were the libertines among them a couple of hundred years ago? But with the easy access to so much varied porn and the young age ppl start to access it, it’s no wonder that younger (as well as older who got into it perhaps later) are getting desensitised to ‘normal’/standard - hetero or homosexual sex and want to push the boundaries further and further. So many stories of young men and boys calling helplines bc they are worried about their urges or experiencing ED at such a young age bc they aren’t turned on by real women or women who aren’t being strangled/shat on or degraded. I’m sure the number of ‘straight’ men who are interested, let alone seeking it with male strangers has shot up with the advent of the internet, like I’m sure you’ve said, but what has interested me recently is the issue of men seeking sex from trans women and why.

Men are essentially obsessed and aroused by penises - mainly their own, but watching an awful clip on YouTube by these 2 bloody awful men (forget their names) but they were talking about when they watch porn they want to see big dicks bc they imagine it’s them - if it’s a smaller one they feel inadequate and don’t want to watch and switch over (this feeds into my theory of why there are perhaps more women interested sexually in other women through watching mainly porn which is filmed through the male gaze, with women as the sexual object and almost exclusive and full focus on their naked body - men can almost be out of frame, back to the camera, or even partially clothed!

Also, and forgive me if I’ve read this from you on this thread and am repeating what you’ve mentioned before - but a theory is that men are attracted to women, so men who look like women are also attractive, and less stigma is being attached to this as more men openly admit it. They admit they dont necessarily mind a penis as they can separate the two elements, and if they want prostate orgasms, which are meant to be a lot more intense I guess the two work really well together for them - like an attractive woman who is pegging them. Also they can separate the sexual act so they don’t care who they are fucking/is fucking them, as long as they achieve orgasm - and they are not in any way attracted to the man who they are doing it with.

Sorry if I’ve fed your words back to you 😄 I’ve been doing a lot of reading in the wee small hours when I should be asleep bc this topic is interesting me at the moment. What you’ve said about it is both eye opening and depressing. Lots to digest for sure.

"a theory is that men are attracted to women, so men who look like women are also attractive, and less stigma is being attached to this as more men openly admit it. They admit they dont necessarily mind a penis as they can separate the two elements, and if they want prostate orgasms, which are meant to be a lot more intense I guess the two work really well together for them - like an attractive woman who is pegging them"

Agree with this wholeheartedly. And I have anecdotal evidence to back this up in that the transwomen I know (both very passable) have had relations with straight men. When both lived as young gay men they attracted, gay men, but since transitioning they almost exclusively attract straight men. They have said that roughly 30% of straight men have no issue going further once they find out.

Thanks for saying that. I’m currently being crucified on another thread for daring to say some men can pass visually for women - the outrage and vitriol being thrown my way - i said nothing about any trans issues, and the ‘drag queen’ I mentioned has had her reputation pulled to shreds by posters, as well as the female celebrity he/she impersonates - it is absolutely crazy!

It’s very clear some women find it extremely triggering and are deeply threatened by it, especially with the new legislation and the political and social issues in the run up etc. I get that. But I simply said this man could pass for a young woman about to hit the town and his own sister said he looked more attractive as a woman than she did. 🤷‍♀️Crikey.

One of the many reasons I left my husband was because he'd been cottaging.

When we were splitting up he talked to me about how he'd had sexual feelings for men since university, and what he wanted from life was to live as a gay man and have a partner and lots of gay friends.

Within a few weeks of us splitting a woman at his work told him she was interested and within a short time they were living together and he was telling me his gay feelings had gone away.

I don't think they had, I think he was just afraid of them.

What I think I'm more afraid of is how far this can go. There are women writing to women on posts on here and telling women to not tell their families the real story about why they left their husbands as they'll be outing them. A post in 2023 is about a husband who had been sleeping with men, and she caught him by seeing one of his videos with another man having sex when looking on his phone. He was begging her and kept going to her sobbing and sniffling for her to take him back. Sending her pictures of their life together nonstop, but she said she can't go back as she doesn't see him like she once did. They're claiming this doesn't change him on the inside, but what does that matter? It's just tough shit because her attraction towards him has. They started saying that it's no wonder bi men don't come out as bi if this is how women treat them. Firstly this isn’t the same kind of situation and second of all a womans attraction can't be controlled. She is also hurt emotionally, but it's all about him. Some women and a few bi men are tearing her apart, telling her that her "disgust" feelings are wrong towards him, and she has no right telling her family what he done to give her support. Even when he's telling the whole world, she left him because she cheated. It's insane that we even go against each other when it comes to defending men and the other liberals.

I know it's way off, but I just wonder how far this could go when we start normalising this as something women just have to prepare for and contend with in hetrosexual relationships. It won't be us really, it will be our daughter's and granddaughter's. Unfortunately, when you find some men who have no use for a woman, then it can become a dangerous situation. I know these numbers are rising, and I think the internet helped fuel it, but somewhere deep inside, it's within most men to act like this. It's been society's conditioning that has caused our expectations to want monogamous and infedilty free men who are truthful about their sexuality and wanting women for more than just sex.

Did you ever read up on the 5 men from Fort Bragg Military Academy who were caught making gay for pay porn in an old gay guys house for a site that became popular? They all went to court and were jailed, fined, and discharged. It was on the news. That story always fascinated me because these guys were just young, normal guys with wives and girlfriends. One man said the money lured him in, but the drink, drugs, and the camaraderie helped, and there was a gradual grooming process also, as many didn't just say yes right away. All they needed was a reason, like most men. Most of them don't seem to shy away once the cameras turn on. They all had to be friends to hang out and work together after having sex with each other, whilst double dating with their girlfriends, etc. It was so weird how they just normalised it. There are hundreds of these straight guys out there who just done the oral stuff going away back to the early 90s. I bet some of their families don't have a clue. A lot of Czeck Republic teens do gay porn when they are straight. It's so normalised that it's joked amongst others that they expect to see Mr X soon, etc. It's become expected of some poor 18 year old now, just to go there. There was a documentary I saw that was made in the 90s about Czeck boys aged 9 to 14 who were prostituting themselves to have a better life or because of addictions. Most boys got involved through word of mouth as it so normalised that they thought nothing of it. All teens were mostly runaways who were drugged and raped and then trafficked. Some caught HIV and one 15 year old boy died with AIDS before they finished the documentary. I was a mess watching that. I need to find the name of it.

Yes, some women don't make it easy for other women. They live in a bubble and are so closed-minded that anything that they don't know can't be true. Maybe that's a good thing because otherwise, they get stuck with us in the real world and possibly never trust any man again. I do believe some women can be triggered as they use sex as a control method for their men, and so this can jeopardise that. But in some womens defence, there are some men who need controlled. Otherwise, they'd only ever do what they want to do all the time, so that reasoning can sometimes be understood.

There are a lot of men who have been taped by trans escorts and put on the Internet with their faces blurred. The high numbers and how they behave would shock some sheltered women. I noticed there were a lot of murders flagging up on the news with "straight" men killing trans women due to their failure to disclose or wanting to expose those men. So those numbers are high. One straight boy was blackmailed to sleep with a trans woman as he had done before in a threesome for drugs. I do notice some blackmailing that's happening also. So maybe that's the risk they take.

Do you think there are enough decent, genuine men to date the same mumber of decent women that's out there? Do you think that men think of us differently in comparison to how we feel for them?

Also, there are some men in prison who can sleep with men if they put mop heads on their head. That's how much effort some need when it comes to arousal. Testosterone is one hell of a hormone! Yet here we are spending millions on makeup and hair and skin products. When in reality all we needed was a good floor mop with a thick threads! 🤣

I think the debate about the differences between men and women regarding sexual arousal - or just wanting to have sex is an interesting one. I do think men find it a lot easier to have sex with just about anybody compared with women. This could be due to attraction, they have a lower threshold of arousal - as in it doesn’t take much to trigger them, attraction wise, or it could be the psychological and social constraints women still feel - risk of pregnancy, STD’s (women seem more concerned about the risks and wearing condoned affects male pleasure more than women’s so a lot of men want to risk it), also the label of still being thought of if not labelled a ‘slag’ if you’ve had multiple partners. There is also the risk of disruption to the relationship and probably more importantly the family unit if she is caught having sex with other men or women - concern for her children’s welfare and fear of the upheaval to them I’d the lot was to fall apart - a lot of men either don’t care or don’t think that far ages. So maybe in these terms this is part of what keeps some women ‘decent’?

I think a lot of women like sex - but they we have this clicke of not being bothered by it, especially as we age. Hormones okay sort definitely and the conscious/subconscious urge to get pregnant. But, from reading many threads on here, women don’t really go off SEX - it’s sex with their or partner who they are either too familiar (bored) with
or who are selfish bloody toss pots in and out of the bedroom so their desire becomes non-existent - due to the the man! It’s hilarious how these idiot men justify shafting around (or trying to) bc they claim their OH’s have gone off sex and they’ve never ever considered the fact they’ve gone off sex with THEM - and they are the cause (and solution) of their own problem. Maybe it’s an ego thing, maybe it’s laziness, maybe it’s just the urge to go off with anyone who will have them. But most women wouldn’t jeopardise that. I do also think women accept the situation more readily men int his scenario and men go seeking thrills online if not in person or have emotional affairs as a form of escapism with ppl they meet online so they can compartmentalise - to them it is a harmless fantasy as they don’t actually intend to meet up with these women most of the time I think, from what I’ve read.

Way before I was ever called a whore or a slag or heard a woman being called one by men I knew for some reason that women who acted and looked more pure are treated better. They are treated better by men and women, which for both sides for two different reasons, is ridiculous. I remember I was 7 and my boyfriend from school was outside and we fell out so I asked him out that day again and he said yes. One of the other mums told my grandmother who raised me, and I got told to come in. I was only 7, and my grandmother squealed at me that we do not ask boys out at my age, but also women don't ask men out at all. It was understood that it was a kind of sleazy looking thing to do. That's just what women do to each other as well. My mum was 16 when she fell pregnant with me, and my dad was 22. He claimed I wasn't his and the whole town accused my mother of being a whore. They believed him because he was a man and she was known for partying (just as he was). She gave me up and lost her mind. She got into drugs and died. But she was always affected by rumours even when I was proven to be his.

All men need is the right situation and permission, and sometimes the worst ones don't even need that. Some of my gay friends have been assaulted by "straight" men, and most have wives and families. Some said no to some sexual acts, but because that other man was stronger, he would make them. Some gay friends said that some of the straight men can show that they are so angry at themselves for doing something they know they shouldn't be doing that they take it out on those gay men and play a little rougher.

A womans arousal starts way before they get into bed. In a man's head, they think, "If she loved me, she would want to have sex with me." But for women, we see it as "I do love you as look at how much I look after the house and kids and contribute financially which makes me tired." Women don't get aroused just by looking and thinking about it. We need more emotional effort. Which is far too much effort for these men . I would love to see what they would be like if they had to go through having sex with their partners, and 99% of the time, they were guaranteed not to climax. The population would be extinct.

"Come as you" are is a great book for couples and explaining to men what it takes to keep a woman aroused.

Whatever way the world turns, it's women who miss out. It's a man's world, and it's getting worse out there. Can you imagine a world where the same number of women were just as aroused on the same level that men are and offer free sex or oral to men whether they were married or not? These women wouldn't care what others thought of them either. How many affairs would you think happened then? I can guarantee that a lot more women wouldn't be saying "not my man" then. Well, that's what is happening, but it's other men who are offering, and it's all done under the table. The more we normalise it then the more the hetrosexual dating standards are changed. Younger women would feel it more. Or maybe not. Just don't be naive and tell others also to do some homework.

Can I ask why he told you this when you had split up already? Or did I read it wrong?

I’m so sorry for all the shit you’ve been through @JAY89J the amount of fucking trauma. I'm not surprised your view of this particular situation is the way it is. You’ve seen and experienced a lot of negative shit.

What you were saying about ‘straight’ men treating their gay sexual partner badly bc of shame - this seems to relate to how female prostitutes get abused too, for similar reasons I’m sure. It’s a deflection to guilt and shame, and highlights the odiousness and pathetic scum the perpetrator is.

I totally agree with a lot of what you’re saying. I should have added to my previous post about men blaming women for their lack of libido (when it’s their fault their partner doesn’t feel like having a ex with them bc of all their crap) that it’s remarkable how swiftly these ‘asexual’ women find their lust for life as soon as they start dating again or enter into a new relationship! Do these waste-of-space men ever stop to consider this? What do they think is going on fgs?! The big difference is most women don’t go out seeking it on the side and either struggle on for the sake of the kids or end it and then start something new. Not all but probably most.

My life could be a bestseller. My childhood was filled with abuse. I was brought up by my dad's mum. I wasn't allowed to visit my mums family. Tbh, it was the best of a bad bunch that I got. My gran thought I would be a maid or carer to her, and so she took me on but reminded me at all times about how much she had to help her mum clean her house in the 40s! and watch her siblings. She was afraid to be in the house alone as well, so at 18 I still had to arrange a babysitter for my gran for me to go anywhere. It was torture for me to be trapped in there with my dad being high as a kite but aware enough to bring me down still! My gran was this angel to everyone as she took me on, and everyone thought that made her a saint. She had her moments, and i loved her, but she was physically abusive when she was in a mood or nothing was tidied up, or i asked for too much. My dad had that in his childhood also, so it wasn't just me as it was all she knew. But she was a very moody and unhappy old lady where nothing was good enough. She was a hypocondriact who wanted to be this cripple who needed help long before she actually needed it. My dad was a drug addict and dealing drugs also. He had the house raided by police a lot. He was so vicious when he was high with certain drugs. The worst was his jealousy that he reminded me of at all times. He is the real-life Norman Bates. He started shouting, "Why does she get a laptop?" On xmas Day when he was 46. He would say things "remember she's my mum" when i was 11. He hated that I was getting the attention and financial help as a CHILD that he believed he should be getting. He was a cruel, vicious man, and my gran thought he was golden. She loved me, but it was conditional. I am in therapy for the whole ordeal and will be doing that for life. Now that I am an adult and know better, it's just too hard to believe that you can be so cruel to a human being who was a child, never mind your daughter. That's not even the worst parts, but my life I believe made me vulnerable, but it also keeps me from being naive to the world.

Just deleted reddit. There are so many more subreddits like these, all under different names. So I hope people don't think that it needs to be a dating app for someone to be looking elsewhere.

I found these after I remembered a users name. He was a man who had written a review for a place when he took his wife for a week's holiday. I thought he made some good suggestions and so I wanted to look back to find out what subreddit he had written on. His comments had shown that he was one of the writers on these subreddits (and a few more). These ones are new to me. It's deleted now.

🤦🏼‍♀️

Hmm..men are wired to like anal stimulation. Pegging itself is more fringe. However, pegging does not mean a man is gay or bi.