Sorry, essay number 2. (I have a lot to say 😄).Thanks for the support. Most of these stories I did not look for. My friend 7 years ago got a phone call from her boyfriends gay friend to say they had slept together the night before. He was in love with her boyfriend, but once her bf said it was a mistake, the gay friend called her to tell her what they had done. I had to scrape her off the floor afterwards. She was destroyed, and she wasn't in the best frame of mind anyway, as her brother had just committed suicide. She certainly hasnt improved as she's now an addict. This didn't skewer my opinions, but when these stories and posts kept popping up, it was giving me flashbacks. My dad and his girlfriend were out in town drinking one night and decided to walk home, which is a 15 min walk, which takes you through some dark alleyways. They told me this the next day when I was a teenager, that they both had caught our married, dad of 2, neighbour, passionatly kissing and groping his friend to the point he didnt see them walk past. The man he was kissing has now come out as gay. This neighbour is still married, and my dad hasn't ever said anything. It was a little hard for us to even try to believe, so I don't think his wife, who is stunningly beautiful BTW, would even believe it. She is best friends with my auntie in-law, and we inquired if it was an open marriage, etc, but it isn't. She still has no idea.
This isn't me sitting online all day looking for answers. It's happened slowly over a period of time. Most stories came from my gay friends. What makes it worse is that some "straight" men left my gay friend and his friends' relationships because they wanted to date women. Even though they found women attractive, they mostly wanted a girlfriend because it would make their parents happy, they wouldn't have to change anything in their lives, and they wanted children eventually. I found that really insulting. It's only because of what we can give them. I also hated when my gay friend would say that society has conditioned everyone to be straight. This is insulting to me. It always sounded like men were brainwashed to want us.
I obviously can't change your minds, but I would ask you to check these apps and sites for yourselves. There's a site for men with different topics of forums. There's a forum where gay and bi men are telling their own celeb hook up experience. Some would open your eyes. Some even have pictures. These pictures of these married men on apps and reddit hook up pages have baby toys and wedding bands in them. It's sick. I'm annoyed to onky start noticing this now, as gay men have been telling me for years, and I would push it to the side and not pay them much attention. Even the stories from my neighbour or my friend didn't really open my eyes. For whatever reason, this has caught my attention, and I think the answer lies in the fact that men have more oppurtunity to cheat now.
Women usually don't want to be seen as a sl*t or homewrecker. We usually want more than a fling. Gay men are just as horny as they are all men. They are discreet and raring to go more than women, with no strings attached included. Plus, it's free! Why wouldn't they press that button when they needed sex and no female with a pulse was available.The more you do it, then the more you normalise it, I believe.
I probably didn't have much faith in men anyway, but this feels different now. I dont know how many of you know about the craiglist adverts where many straight were lookkng for women but gay men would msg them or theyd msg them, as women werent as keen to go to strange mens houses for sex. Remember the craiglist killer? Even he was seeking men and transgender women (more to rob them than for sex, but still). These craiglist adverts were the start of it all.
I know it's irrational, but it's how I feel, and it's a growing issue. Men can separate sex and emotions much easier than we can. Testosterone is one hell of a hormone. It just scares me for some unknown reason. Who I have believed straight men to be is not even close to who I think they are. I feel like the window has been cleared, and I'm finally seeing what really goes on behind the scenes.
If you need any nudge of a confirmation then just look at the MANY posts on here that discuss relationship issues, where the man has a porn addiction or has stopped having sex as frequently and then their partner finds them looking at gay porn or gay apps. There's quite a few. So is porn to blame? I know some men from my area, who were functioning addicts (you would never know as they worked and had families etc) and straight, but they saw some gay men for cash or for the more severe addicts, a bed for a few nights. It was widely known until word got around and they stopped.. apparently. There is a huge gay for pay corn department that has produced some of the finest men you will ever set eyes on. There was even a scandal a good few years ago when 7 Fort Bragg paratroopers, who were "straight" (at the time anyway), were caught in many of these gay porn videos, having enthusiastic sex with their other paratrooper friends. They were on the news as they went to court, and some were given a small prison sentence. They were discharged, and some were even charged with luring the other paratroopers to join in these videos. Most of these men were married (although some wives knew). Reading the reviews, it seems they all started off with as little sexual passion towards their partner in crime as possible, but he more videos they had done then the more they became at ease with what they are doing. Some of those straight married men looked like they had been doing it all their lives. Wedding bands in the pictures just for the extra nudge. If they can do it, then why can most straight men?
I forgot I had written this post actually and decided to watch the documentary about the staircase murder with Micheal Peterson. I didn't know he had been hooking up with men, and that was the centre of the prosecution trial. So it's brought me back here.
I don't think men understand what women need or want from relationships, and they especially don't know what a woman can go through when we are left for men. It can affect us in ways that not even we understand. I don't put all these straight men in one box, but the way it's looking for me is that the scales are tipping more for the ones who do practice this behaviour. Most say it's not cheating because it was a man, and there were no feelings of affection exchanged. They think if they had sought out another woman, then they would see themselves as cheaters, and they believe that their wives think along these lines too. They really don't know us at all
This all may just be natures way to finally change me into the woman whom I was always destined to become.. A CAT LADY!