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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My wife and I had a very dumb argument. What is her problem?

200 replies

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:36

My wife and I have been married for 5 years.

Other then this dumb argument, we do get along great most of the time.

Recently I got a new job after being laid off for 3 weeks. I was filling out the paper work so I can have this job and like all jobs do, on the application they ask for emergency contact information.

Now in my first job put my mother's phone number but not anymore. Especially now that I am a fully grown adult and don't need anybody.

There are a couple of reasons.

1 I am a grown man. I am very independent and I am also very healthy. I eat well and mostly drink water and work out a lot so there will never be an instance where I am gonna need serious help from others. I can make decisions on my own.

2 in the past, when I had my first job when I was around 17 years of age, my manager at my first Job contacted my emergency contact Wich was my mother but not because there was actually an emergency. They called my mother to talk to her about my performance at work and how I can improve my performance. That caused my mother to lecture me telling me how I need to have a better work ethic and I better not slack at my job and manage my stresses better.
I was caught off guard by that. I quit that job not too long after because I didn't appreciate my manager bringing my work issues to my home.

Now I make sure not to confide in anybody when it comes to my personal stresses, feelings and especially work stresses and headaches. Not my parents, not my wife, not even my best friends.

Now here is how the argument happened, I was filling out the paper work in my home office and as an emergency contact, I put down my text free app's number.

At the same moment, my wife walked in on me and asked me why don't I put her number ?

I told her because I don't feel like it.

She was initially confused and told me that i should put her phone number as my emergency contact just in case something happens to me at my jobs location and I can't make decisions for myself. And she argued saying that she is my wife, she should consider putting her phone number on the application instead of using a random text free number.

I told her that I am grown and I can make decisions of my own and I told her to leave me alone. Being unemployed is already demeaning enough so I dont need her to nag at me. I walked away from her to shut down the argument.

What is my wife's problem? Why does she feel to need to give me grief about something so trivial ?

OP posts:
OliviaRodrighost · 19/11/2024 08:55

Try Reddit.

MassiveOvaryaction · 19/11/2024 08:55

Drinking water and eating well doesn't stop you being hit by a bus.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 19/11/2024 08:55

I'll consider putting my best friends phone number. At least I know they won't lecture me if I have any problems at work.

So you want to piss your wife off even more???😂😂😂

WinterCrow · 19/11/2024 08:55

OliviaRodrighost · 19/11/2024 08:55

Try Reddit.

Or Quora

Pillarsofsalt · 19/11/2024 08:55

Your first place of work behaved badly.
now you are behaving badly.
I understand why you might not trust a new work place, however if you don’t trust your wife your marriage is in serious trouble.

romdowa · 19/11/2024 08:56

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:53

I'll consider putting my best friends phone number. At least I know they won't lecture me if I have any problems at work.

Your mother lectured you when you were 17 and now you've a complex? This is honestly the most ridiculous thing ive ever read. You need to move on

Smithhy · 19/11/2024 08:56

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:53

I'll consider putting my best friends phone number. At least I know they won't lecture me if I have any problems at work.

How many years have you had a job, and how many managers have you had in that time.

One incompetent manager in your timeline seems a very irrational reason to cut off your nose to spite your face going forward.

If your wife had an accident at work, would you want to be told about it straight away?

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 19/11/2024 08:56

You don't like your wife very much do you OP?

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:56

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 19/11/2024 08:55

I'll consider putting my best friends phone number. At least I know they won't lecture me if I have any problems at work.

So you want to piss your wife off even more???😂😂😂

No I don't.

OP posts:
WhisperGold · 19/11/2024 08:57

You mate. You are your wife's problem.

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:57

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 19/11/2024 08:56

You don't like your wife very much do you OP?

Edited

I do love my wife.

OP posts:
SerenityNowSerenityNow · 19/11/2024 08:58

No I don't.

Well, putting your friends number down as you emergency contact is likely to do that.....

Rhaidimiddim · 19/11/2024 08:58

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:43

Again, I am grown man. Plus after what happened to me at my first job where my manager called my mom, I am not putting anybody's phone number down because I really don't want other people involved in my personal life struggles.

If you "really don't want other people involved in my personal life struggles" you shouldn't have got married.

I hope that text-free app has a car and knows how to drive when work call it to get it to come and pick you up.

Morechocmorechoc · 19/11/2024 08:58

You dont sound like an adult at all. You sound like a petulant child who doesn't understand how life works.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 19/11/2024 08:59

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:57

I do love my wife.

Then put her number down as your emergency contact, confide in her and share your life with her ........

MissMoneyFairy · 19/11/2024 08:59

Put down who you like, if you have an accident in work time or become unwell don't expect your wife to help or visit you if you get taken to hospital.

ArminTamzerian · 19/11/2024 08:59

joel7 · 19/11/2024 08:57

I do love my wife.

You very obviously do not.

Deadringer · 19/11/2024 09:00

You are right op, your wife does have a problem, a big grown up one.

joel7 · 19/11/2024 09:00

Rhaidimiddim · 19/11/2024 08:58

If you "really don't want other people involved in my personal life struggles" you shouldn't have got married.

I hope that text-free app has a car and knows how to drive when work call it to get it to come and pick you up.

Well what if you live in a place where you truly don't have anybody? No friends or family ? What do you ?

This is what being grown is. You don't depend on anybody, you don't rely on other hands to feed you and you generally fend for yourself. When you leave your parents you are alone in the world.

OP posts:
KoalaCalledKevin · 19/11/2024 09:00

I think your first job calling your mother to discuss performance is extremely unusual, and certainly wouldn't happen now you're an adult. No employer is going to call your wife to discuss issues. I (and I imagine most people) have never had an employer call my emergency contact. But if you get run down by a car in the car park and are not conscious and get taken off in an ambulance, wouldn't you want your wife to be called? This makes absolutely no sense.

Starseeking · 19/11/2024 09:00

What on earth is a text free number??? How's that going to let anyone in your family know if there's an emergency with you at work, or worse still, if you didn't reach work one day having been expected?

This must be a reverse.

joel7 · 19/11/2024 09:01

MissMoneyFairy · 19/11/2024 08:59

Put down who you like, if you have an accident in work time or become unwell don't expect your wife to help or visit you if you get taken to hospital.

I do not expect my wife to have my back so...

OP posts:
Jingleballs2 · 19/11/2024 09:01

You're an idiot. Plenty of accidents can happen that can't be avoided by a healthy lifestyle and drinking lots of water 🙄

Flibbertyflo · 19/11/2024 09:01

What’s your wife’s problem? She married an idiot.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 19/11/2024 09:02

I do not expect my wife to have my back so...

Why did you get married?

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