We have been together 15 years married for 9, have 2 children.
we have a great marriage, we’ve had our ups and downs, good times and bad times but we are good.
he works hard, supports myself and our family physically, emotionally and financially. He is a hands on dad and does anything for me and the kids.
he is a great husband- supportive, kind, loving.
however….. there is one thing that I really really cannot bear.
once in a while, approx once every couple of months, he goes out drinking and it always turns into a heavy session. Going back to a friends house after the pub for more drinking and I suspect drugs are in the mix, falling asleep on someone’s sofa, not coming home until early hours of the morning, not answering my calls or messages. It literally drives me mental! It’s like he has a total personality change, forgets about me, forgets he has responsibilities.
we have a family location app which is always leaves on so I can see where he is- but that’s not the point is it !?
I find it utterly disgusting and disrespectful.
now I know he works hard and life, work can be stressful and he deserves to let off steam every now and again. But when it causes me such upset distress and anxiety is it something I can continue to put up with? I’m not sure.
a friend once said to me, as long as the good outweighs the bad then that’s all that matters.
and it does, the good really does outweigh the bad. This is the only bad thing in our marriage and the only thing that causes arguments.
it doesn’t happen every weekend but still…….
the day after one of his nights out he still participates in family life, plays with the kids, cooks dinner etc. but I just don’t know if I want to be with a man who at nearly 40 years old has nights out like this.
im writing this now at nearly 4am, he went to a 40th last night and is still not home
I can see on our family location app he is round the corner at our friends house (a married couple who we are both friends with) but it still makes me really angry and upset
he knows this but continues to do it.
i love him so much but I hate this!!!
im interested to know what you guys would do in my situation ?
thank you