Anyone on here actually got a decent man?

[ALMummy]

I am curious to know whether anyone on MN actually has a DH or DP who does all or most of the following:

1. Is faithful
2. Does not behave abusively towards you either physically, verbally or emotionally in any way.
3. Is fair when it comes to finances.
4. Helps with housework and childcare.
5. Is supportive about things that are important to you.

I ask this because I read so many sad stories on here and in RL my friends all seem to have utter pigs for partners and I am beginning to wonder if ANYONE actually has a decent relationship, do they actually exist? How common is it? Am I living in Cloud Cuckoo land to expect any or all of the above?

yes
try not to take it (or him even) for granted
sure i do sometimes, though..
but, after all, i'm bloody fantastic, too

Yup, mine ticks all those boxes.
There are nice guys out there and they do have sex appeal but it's usually the kind that you don't notice until you find out just how nice they are. Think practical gifts, kindnesses and compliments rather than the grand gestures and cash splashing. Therefore, I think many women don't give them a 2nd glance, going for the more obvious sex appeal and flattery of the total pig.
Also, like kids, many women get good and bad attention muddled up, thinking at least if he's being horrible it means he cares. Some nice blokes are just very laid back so if they're not picking a fight with you, it doesn't mean they're indifferent, or that you need to pick a fight with them. The best (most sustainable) relationships just potter along as a team - it's not boring, you just don't need to have fireworks all the time.

my DH ticks all the boxes too

I'm sorry but everyone knows that decent men do not exist, just like decent women....

yeps, mine Dh ticks all the boxes. big

Yes, me! My DP is so great it actually makes me a bit ashamed...he's a much better person than I am

1. Is faithful - I've certainly never had reason to think otherwise, but plenty of compliments and good loving to suggest that he is so.
2. Does not behave abusively towards you either physically, verbally or emotionally in any way - or indeed anyone, it's just not in his nature. He is far more reasonable and patient than I will ever be.
3. Is fair when it comes to finances - way more than fair.
4. Helps with housework and childcare - when he cleans (which is probably as frequently as I do), things get properly clean. Also he is much tidier than me and is always attempting to manage my random piles of stuff, bless him.
5. Is supportive about things that are important to you - well, he stood by my side while my brother went through a horrible death, encouraged me to pursue my MA studies and has supported me without question since I went part time to do so.

I would also like to state for the record that he is gorgeous and very sexy, and is the only boyfriend I've ever had that my best mate genuinely likes

My Dh ticks all the boxes too! But romantic?? er, no, sorry! When I gave birth to our first child, I had hinted heavily for an eternity ring. What did I get- a Weight-watchers chicken sarnie!!! I weigh it up, though, and I know he will always be practical, and will always look after me, just that I'll have to buy any flowers myself!!!

I'm amazed to think so many lovely men exist: my dad, and my ex, must have convinced me of what I thought was normal/realistic:

(1) Dad: yes; ex: no
(2) Dad: no; ex: no
(3) Dad: no; ex: middling
(4) Dad: no; ex: middling
(5) Dad: no; ex: middling

NotDoingTheHousework, I'm inspired. I hope that, having spent the first 11 years of my adulthood with someone who is not the kind of man being talked about on here (he used to tell me they were an illusion, boring and not real men and I believed him ), I will be able to find one like yours (who'll take on DS) in my thirties. Might need to first sort out me and my belief that I could actually attract one!

I feel sad about the past, but I suppose cautiously optimistic about the future. You lucky ladies, you. Why were they even single when you found them?!

Me too! Yay!

Yes, he ticks the boxes and more. I guess here's a place to ask for help with problems, so you are bound to hear about difficulties rather than contentment.

My dh also scores 5 out of 5. I agree with the op - lots of awful guys out there!

my dp ticks those 5 boxes too (though like others I take issue with "helps with housework and childcare - no, he does it. it's not "Helping" me....)

but if you add a 6th question:

1. Is your DP/DH good at romantic gestures? I would have to say No not really. He gives practical presents.

Yes - DH scores 5 out of 5

He still does things that wind me up, I;m sure I do things that wind him up. But - I can honestly say I am still in love with him

5/5 for my dh. He is a total star.

Message withdrawn

My DH scores 5 out of 5 as well (and I'm not giving him this score just because he likes ironing!!). There are good men out there - they just take a lot of finding.

Mine ticks every box too although have to say am a bit about whether this is what makes a good man. "fair about finances" "helps with housework" Was this written in 1950 (mummyjag admts to not having read all of the thread)

yes to all and he makes me laugh

Yes I do - my DH is lovely - mind you I tried another one out first before I got it right.

My DH still makes me go wea at the knees and I really feel like such a lucky woman to have him as my husband - how soppy am I!

Oh he is a great father to DS and DD too and my best friend.

Weak at the knees - have had pelvic floor sorted so no more weeing!

Chunkychips, why don't you stick a bucket in the wardrobe when he's out?