Anyone on here actually got a decent man?

[ALMummy]

I am curious to know whether anyone on MN actually has a DH or DP who does all or most of the following:

1. Is faithful
2. Does not behave abusively towards you either physically, verbally or emotionally in any way.
3. Is fair when it comes to finances.
4. Helps with housework and childcare.
5. Is supportive about things that are important to you.

I ask this because I read so many sad stories on here and in RL my friends all seem to have utter pigs for partners and I am beginning to wonder if ANYONE actually has a decent relationship, do they actually exist? How common is it? Am I living in Cloud Cuckoo land to expect any or all of the above?

Ooh yes, 'nother great arse here too Lapin.

yup.

He is a man beyond measure

Hell yes, my DH is utterly fab, I work (almost) full time and he does (almost) all the housework and daytime childcare and will continue to do so until ds2 starts nursery when we'll split things more evenly again. He's kind, sensitive, caring, funny, warm and interesting. He acts interested in what I'm saying even if he's bored witless and surprises me every day with all the wonderful little things he does to show he loves me and the kids. Of course I am the best wife in world to him in every way conceivable so perhaps its not surprising that he's so perfect too

seriously though, he is brilliant but we've had to work on it, both of us, not that it felt like work just a process of growing together as a supportive couple.

we've been married nearly 6 years and have 2 ds's. life is good

o and if we're talking arses etc, peachy and as for his back

yes! Consider myself very lucky.

1. Is faithful - yes

1. Does not behave abusively towards you either physically, verbally or emotionally in any way. - no

1. Is fair when it comes to finances. - leaves the money/shopping side to me so definitely fair

1. Helps with housework and childcare. - does more diy and gardening and housework but i'm a bit obsessive about housework so he doesnt need to do any, childcare definitely

1. Is supportive about things that are important to you. - always

Now if he could just learn where the laundry basket is

Oh yes indeedy.

Ooh yes Pheebe - I'm gonna throw in DH's shoulders too

Yes to all. And adores me unconditionally, even though I am not worthy.

You've got fit haven't you???

that is so sad Al.

why are you still with him?
how old are the children

Kitty, did you mean he does abuse you?

Yup, my dh ticks all those points, although he 'helps' with housework in the much the same way my 4yo does and requires similar levels of supervision.

Love him lots and I'm very lucky [2 pints soppy]

mine is perfection. people are always asking me if i realise how lovely he is as if perhaps i dont realise or dont appreciate him enough...

I read about other womens' dps/dhs on here, and then ring mine at work and tell him how great he is! He doesn't do 4, but doesn't moan about my book habit or the phone bill either, so the housework is a trade off. I've been with dh since I was 19, now married almost 23 years, and I don't want to be with anyone else. I love him to bits.

yep
1/Totally
2/Never
3/ he never takes any money for himself...ever!
4/ does loads around the house, is a great cook and is fantastic dad
5/ his weak point... tries to be, but doesn't really know what to say.

My Dp does mainly tick all those boxes but he can still get on my nerves. He can be crap with money but he is not in debt. He will do a general clear and offer to do the hovering but I do quite a bit more housework but Im quite happy with that (because Im particular).He goes through lazy periods where I have to remind him but on the whole he is a good partner and Id write him a letter of recommendation if he needed one.

Yes. I have frequently wanted to post about how great my DH is, but thought people with less fantastic DPs would be annoyed

In our relationship it is me who is the bad-tempered lazy untidy one

mine has a tendency to prioritise beer and forget we need electric top up but as we both earn money it's not like he controls what I have and I can be frivolous...and he needs reminding to do the housework but we got past the grumbling stage and now he accepts it!

Seriously, mine is lovely. Decent. respectful, kind hearted and just very moral.

it's hard isn't it godzilla? he's fab and i'm a grumpy old bag...

AlMummy - sorry to read in your posts that you think your Dh doesn't meet any of these criteria.

imo there are grounds for whingeing in all marriages, and even in the good ones there is room for development/improvement. I remember a VERY old episode of Roseanne, where she was beign congratulated on what a good husband she had, and she replied, "D'you think he arrived like that in a box?" - ie all relationships do need to be worked on.

However ime there are also toxic individuals/relationships which cannot work, however hard you 'work' at it.

Hope this thread has helped you - MN can be great for getting a sense of perspective, and seeing what everyone else is up to.

Really nice to hear some positive stuff about DH's by the way! glad to hear it all.

Good luck AlMummy.

I don't live with my new DP as we have only been together 8 months, so can't tick the housework/childcare questions. He is lovely though, and ticks the other boxes. My ex H wouldn't tick many, which is why he is my ex!

I wonder though, what the criteria would be for a perfect wife?!

If a dad posted

"My wife doesn't nag, she lets me look at porn, keeps the house tidy, shaves her legs and sucks my cock twice a week...'

How many of us would live up to that standard?!

My husband is pretty good, we have had our issues in the past and worked through them....but I think sometimes we need to take a step back and think 'am I a decent wife?'

Yes does all the above and shares (fully) the care of dd2 (9mths) who needs physio and nebs etc

My best friend and I feel very lucky with him in my life