Anyone on here actually got a decent man?

[ALMummy]

I am curious to know whether anyone on MN actually has a DH or DP who does all or most of the following:

1. Is faithful
2. Does not behave abusively towards you either physically, verbally or emotionally in any way.
3. Is fair when it comes to finances.
4. Helps with housework and childcare.
5. Is supportive about things that are important to you.

I ask this because I read so many sad stories on here and in RL my friends all seem to have utter pigs for partners and I am beginning to wonder if ANYONE actually has a decent relationship, do they actually exist? How common is it? Am I living in Cloud Cuckoo land to expect any or all of the above?

Mine pretty much does all the things in your list (though he has his moments).
So does that mean I'm lucky?

This thread's made me realise how much I take DP for granted

Mine ticks all the boxes except the housework part of 4. In fairness he works away a lot but when he's here he just doesn't ever seem to notice the mess. Will do stuf when given specific intructions, though.

Same here hassled. He does do housework but he creates more mess than he cleans up. He doesn't mind the mess but doesn't always need to be asked to clean up either.

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. All income earned is OURS, not his or mine.
4. Very good, especially at w/e, takes baby for me to lie in and cleans kitchen and hoovers house, cleans cars and looks after garden.
5. Most Definitely, he's my best friend.

[blurgh] it's enough to make you sick but oddly enough it's true.

This thread makes me feel like a complete failure for not having managed to baggsy one of the lovely blokes like everyone else.

There must be something wrong with me.

I'm glad they exist though.

I can safely say that my last boyfriend was not faithful, was abusive, was unfair over finances, did not help with anything, and was possibly the most unsupportive person you can imagine.

How the heck did he seem so nice before I got close enough to see all this?

My DH lets me spend all his money and keep my own!

He always gets me to walk on the inside of the pavement and always opens doors for me.

Is always supportive.

Puts me and the DS's first.

Will help with the housework if I ask - but I prefer to do it myself. He looks after all the garden, greenouse, veg patch, compost stuff.

Although I only work part-time - he is always willing to take a days holiday or work from home if the kids are ill on my days to work.

I remember last October we literally came back from holiday on the Sunday and I had a chance to go to London shopping with a friend (free 1st class travel etc)the next day, so he offered to take another days holiday so he could take us to the train station and be there for the boys when they came home from school - what more could you ask for?

I have one

1/ as far as i know, would be really shocked if he did ever cheat.

2/ never.

3/ has nothing to do with finances, leaves it all to me as i am a control freak and he does not understand any of it. as long as he has money in the account for when he needs it he is happy.

4/ helps with most of the housework, always takes over with the children once he comes through the door.

5/ can struggle with taking information in at times, and never remembers anything which makes me but overall his good points far outweigh his bad.

I have a decent man.
All of the below.
Sometimes he drives me nutty.
But he is a diamond.

In answer to original op - ME, mine is well trained - a big yes to all 5 things.

1. Definetly
2. Definetly not
3. I deal with ALL the finances, he needs to ask me for any money he requires (not in a bad way, just more practical)
4. Damn right!
5. Definetly, and I realise I am very lucky for this, as I can be flighty. I am currently stopping work to be a full time student for the next 2 years. I have previously walked out a job that made me miserable and he was fine with that (as long as it made me happy)

Yip, he's a gem.
We still argue and still have a moan about each other, but nobody's perfect eh

I have a very wonderful husband. Supportive, kind, funny, generous, hard working, a fantastic father,he's my best friend in the whole world and I trust him with my life.

But he still leaves his sweaty socks on the bedroom floor and stinks the loo out!

Mine is an absolute dream. I could not wish for anything more. He is fully versed in all aspects of housework, grocery shopping and timeley compliments. Some of them are OK honest.

My hubby is A1 lovely. On the other hand, I am very nice wife who lets him go on holiday with best mate and without me once a year so perhaps I reap what I sow!

Ticks all the boxes. I particularly appreciate that he insists on me getting some "me-time", my weekly nights out (dance class) are sacrosanct.

yes to all.
I also give him space to go out/occasional holiday/pursue hobbies.

We do have arguments but over the years learnt to talk things through and be gentle with each other.

My dh ticks all the boxes, too. Very hands-on dad (2nd time around) and just perfect in almost every way (and just imperfect enough to be real!). He doesn't cook but is otherwise a better housekeeper than I am .

What a nice thread - actually have avoided it for a while as was feeling so down about my crap H (seperated)....and sure that I would never meet or want another man....and didn't really want to hear about other wonderful DH's - but actaully this thread is nice and down to earth and gives us all up Well done you ladies...and a big round of applause for all the great DH's here

up = hope
not sure how that happened

yep DH is pretty much all of them.

Have to say he has needed subtle training on the housework front which is still ongoing really but he is improving. (example- when cleaning the loo you need to clean the seat/under it/outside etc rather than just squirt bleach optimistically at it!)

Saying this I do the bulk of this as i'm a SAHM but he dos pitch in on those days when it looks like we've been burgled or if he's off from work.

I'd like to think I wouldn't put up for less- i'm frequently shocked by the disrespectful behaviour of some of my friends DH/DP's.

No-ones perfect tho (in fact i've been up since 7 with DS and he's still snoring in bed having got in from a boozy night at 4am!)

My DP is brill, tht's why after 12 years together we are getting married this year.

My DP is fantastic and absolutely gorgeous I can't think of anything bad to say about him.

Haven't read all thread, but:

1. Yes faithful, after six years still tells me I'm beautiful;
2. Hates all kinds of abuse and never even raises his voice.
3. Finances: totally fair.
4. Does share of HW, great cook, does long days four days a week so can take DS one day while I work;
5. Absolutely and totally supportive, eg hates cloth nappies but using them for my sake.

I consider my unbelievable luck (and excellent taste) most days