Most men working in Finance or Law in city of London are narcissists?

[PoliteEagle]

I am dating with an intent to find a serious relationship. I live in Kensington in West London and most of my local dates are finance or law guys. While they are very successful, their personalities are let's say ... difficult. All of them either had full blown narcs traits or at least being very selfish. A friend of mine says they are all like that and I should skip any guy working in Finance or Law and dont waste time with them. I will remove lots of people from my pool by doing so, but my experience so far confirms her words.. Would you agree that most men working in Finance / Law in city of London are narcissists and not really suitable for a relationship?

I’d agree with your observation. I’d like someone kind, empathetic, deeper than skin-deep, not constantly looking for validation in the shape of shiny things, bonuses and accolades, and thus wouldn’t go anywhere near most of these guys. You’ve got to be pretty ruthless and pragmatic to survive in these environments. I imagine there are some sweeter, geekier types hidden in the mix, but the working environment changes you.

Kensington isn’t just these people though! But it’s an expensive area to live so will obviously attract either the professionally very successful or inherited wealth. Mind you, when I lived there, it was a little more mixed and mostly older people with children etc, not many younger singles around?

You’re also near Shepherds Bush and North Ken which are both way more diverse.

I work in a different but very cutthroat field. We establish very quickly whether a date has what it takes to keep up with us. If they don’t, we’ll make very genial excuses about why things have ended but fundamentally it’s that you couldn’t keep up and you didn’t fit in. Our work is more important than a prospective date.

Nope I recommended you therapy because you were angry that I didn’t reply to you. It is so weird why would someone care if a stranger on a forum would reply to them even more get angry because of that. Get a life or a therapy yes. You sound like you need it, and asap.

Yeah that makes sense, no need to drag anything if you see from the beginning it doesn’t work for you

A lot of singles around, and lots of families as well. So mixed bag really.
Personally I think I vibe more with people in Islington, really cool area, I regret a bit that I settled in Kensington but I have quite a few friends here, including the one who works for a law firm and said she would never date a city lawyer.
i will start sending more likes to people outside of the area and see what comes. It feels just like post covid no one wants to commute 😂 and wants everything locally.

You did reply to me. You were just unpleasant and refused to acknowledge any of my line of argument because it didn’t fit with your materialistic narrative of the world. Just as you were to everyone who disagreed with your desperate (apologies, I can’t find an appropriate synonym) plight to nab a banker back in September. And thank you I have a life. A good career, a lovely husband and beautiful children thank you very much. Your concern is touching.

Yes, they are narcissists.

@ElleintheWoods is spot on with this comment that rich successful men are "constantly looking for validation in the shape of shiny things, bonuses and accolades, and thus wouldn’t go anywhere near most of these guys. You’ve got to be pretty ruthless and pragmatic to survive in these environments." - I have been married to one for 34 years so I know this to be true! (And it not that much different now he has retired)

If you’ve stuck around for 34 years he must have plenty of positives as well though? 😊

Yes he has, he's quite traditional and very faithful, he's always supported me with the children, he buys me things and he'll praise and compliment me LOL.😂so its not all bad!😃

Another lawyer here with a lovely lawyer DH and friends on both law and finance.

Maybe the good ones have all been snapped up.

OP’s looking for man in Finance. 35. South Ken. Sugar Daddy.

Another poster was bang on when they said the older and single bankers/lawyers tend to be that way for a reason - they can and/or don’t want commitment (can also spot a gold digger a mile off). The good ones have already been snapped up - usually by a colleague or university friend - basically same social circles. Someone who knew them when they were a junior on the desk and not earning the big bucks yet (I speak from experience).
Dont date based on a certain job and lifestyle you crave - date someone who makes you laugh and has ambition and drive to succeed. You can find those attributes in any sector.

Agree with this!

Yes agree, I've met loads of people like this who work in the City

Yeah, I was setting my age range 30+ as I thought those guys would be more open for somthing serious but based on posts that good guys are taken by their 30ies, I think I will try to look at late 20ies as well, mid 20ies i guess would be a it too young for a relationship leading to a family but late 20ies could be a sweet spot

How old are you, op?

I dont crave that lifestyle, I have it and would like to maintain.
I date guys from all industries, it is just I am on Hinge and majority of my likes coming from guys from Finance/Law presumable due to an area I live in. I started dating some of them and noticed the tendencies I mentioned in my opening posts so started to wonder if they are waste of time. Got mix of responses here

in my 20ies

The easiest way for you to maintain your current lifestyle is surely to keep working and fund it yourself. That way you’re not relying on someone else, and can be more flexible with potential relationships.

Thanks but i didn't ask advice about how to maintain my lifestyle, let me remind you that my question was whether most of the men working in finance/law you come across are narcissistic. If you have nothing to say in relation to this, what is your point in posting here?

You're so young OP! Don't limit yourself by setting such rigid standards.... why do you want to look for a 45 year old banker when you're only in your 20s? I'm sure you'll have lots to offer to the right guy.

I used to work in finance and I'm married to a city lawyer. Most of our friends are also from the same circles and I wouldn't call any of them narcissists although I'd also say that the good ones in the age range you're looking at (30 to 45) are already married.

Well thank you. Apparently some people here are quite misogynistic and think if you are no longer in your early 20ies you missed the boat. Those same people promote feminism which is just strange. But whatever
I went for guys >30 because I would have though a guy in his 30ies early 40ies would be more serious about starting a family. I don't mind age difference, I know some couples where it worked fine. A friend of mine is going to marry a guy 19 years older, he looks great and quite active. Guys in late 20ies and early 30ies behave like kids a bit in London, not all of them I course. But now I can see I am wrong with age set up and location radius as well. If you say good people in 30ies already married than some of them should be ready for a serious relationship in their late 20ies and late 30ies as well. Hopefully.