Most men working in Finance or Law in city of London are narcissists?

[PoliteEagle]

I am dating with an intent to find a serious relationship. I live in Kensington in West London and most of my local dates are finance or law guys. While they are very successful, their personalities are let's say ... difficult. All of them either had full blown narcs traits or at least being very selfish. A friend of mine says they are all like that and I should skip any guy working in Finance or Law and dont waste time with them. I will remove lots of people from my pool by doing so, but my experience so far confirms her words.. Would you agree that most men working in Finance / Law in city of London are narcissists and not really suitable for a relationship?

That’s sort of the point.

Not anyone but you :)

I definitely think the OP has a point, a married a very successful, very well-off guy who worked in the City in 1990 and he's definitely a narcist, the problem is so were all his friends and most of his work colleagues it was the same when we lived in Frankfurt and New York, very hard guy to live with, no question. In regards to law - I've met a few barristers too in my time who've been great fun but definitely have huge egos and probably on the narcistic spectrum if there is such a thing.

That’s what I notice in my dates as well. Some posters say normal guys get picked up while younger. I internationally seek someone older/much older as I would have thought those guys would be ready for smth serious. But instead I may need to look for someone in their late 20ies, like 27-29?

Yes I meant tech guys. IT guys are a bit too laid back for me. Though I have no doubt they would on average make better husbands

And what surprises me is that when you say someone I don’t want to talk you, any adequate person would say fine, whatever, all the best, bye. You instead keep posting and trying to prove how right you are and I wrong I am not listening to you. I wonder why you behave like that? Narcissistic injury?

That’s not true. You have been equally unpleasant to me. Quite frankly your previous thread about wanting a banker to financially bankroll you so you can be a SAHM completely undermines any genuine intent to this thread. On that thread you repeatedly refused to answer how old you are. Given that you state that you are looking for a man aged 30-45 I’d hazard a guess you are 28+. You are clearly not from the same sociopath-economic background as the men you are desperately trying to date, despite the success you claim to have had in your own career. So let me state this for you clearly. Most men who live in Kensington and are successful in banking or law marry in to a tight circle of family, public school or university friends and do so relatively early in life. Those that don’t do that may marry for genuine love but not generally women the 30 something women they meet on dating apps who are obviously seeking material and social gain. You may not think your motives are obvious but even on an internet forum you are completely transparent.

Having spent years working alongside men in these industries, I've never met one who was quite as, um, impervious to information that didn't fit the mould of what they wanted to hear.

I just had to look up narcissistic injury 😂

You are quite the gem.

have you been pleasant to me?

So you are

Yes, I think I might have made the misstep of triggering the narcissistic rage by having the temerity to remember your other thread?

Good luck, OP. You'll be relieved to know I'm out, so you can carry on trying to find love or a sugar daddy or whatever it is you're looking for.

Amazing and finally!

No. But my vitriol and anger comes the fact that your sense.of entitlement could be perceived as giving working professional women and immigrants a bad name and potentially undermining the women’s movement.

As an aside, you have refused to engage or even acknowledge any of my arguments, which only further reinforces my beliefs.

My BF works in law in London, actually the best human being I’ve ever known
Bit of a sweeping generalisation OP

I don’t have to engage with everyone who posts here. If I don’t it means I am not interested in them. I don’t ever remember what you posted and not gonna re read your posts as well. Just not interested. If smth like this makes you angry I would consider therapy

My situation was I worked as a secretary/PA in the City when I met my DH who had a high-powered job in the City. We married when I was 25 and he was 38 which I agree was very old as a lot of times City-types do marry young but he was very career-dedicated and not a player or a womaniser. He owned his own flat in St Katherine's Dock which I loved & then moved to various houses around London. When we married I became a SAHM with an allowance which I loved as had 4 children ,I was so, so happy when the children were young and really loved life but it was a question of putting my DH first and being a 'corporate wife' and not seeing him loads during the week! Do I regret it? Not really though as times he can be a real pain to live with and his retirement was very hard on both of us.

This is so true.

None of the rich finance / law people I know use online dating. They might use Tinder if they wanted a fling but any serious relationship would come from a personal recommendation

there are the rogues in any industry, no industry has perfect people

@CocoDC - I know and have met a fair few who do - law firm partners, managing directors etc, including colleagues I have now recognised but I agree with you - due to their status they are inundated with interest and are mainly on it for casual dating/ego boost/definitely not anything serious.

Ditto.

Yes agree, not all men are the same in that regard. My DH, for all his faults and narcistic traits and selfishness, wasn't unfaithful though I'm sure he could have been. He appreciated having a nice home to come home to and a family, Although it was different as it was before on line dating even then we both knew a fair few of his colleagues who were unfaithful. I guess the apps have made it easier but he's 72 now and I'm 60 so a bit beyond both of us I'm afraid!😆

I’m in law, and my husband is in finance and I disagree with your friend’s assessment. Most people I work with and husband works with are kind and devoted partners. That being said if you are in your thirties the situation might change as the single people I know in law and finance are usually single either by choice or due to issues which make them unsuitable partners. Most people who want to commit and settle down did so in their twenties. There are a few exceptions but that’s generally the case in my experience.

Mine man in finance is lovely. As are all the people we are friends with from his work. I think city bros and hedge fund wankers are often a slightly different breed from regular finance guys.

Maybe look for a geeky IT guy? They tend to be much more chill and earn more anyway.