Most men working in Finance or Law in city of London are narcissists?

[PoliteEagle]

I am dating with an intent to find a serious relationship. I live in Kensington in West London and most of my local dates are finance or law guys. While they are very successful, their personalities are let's say ... difficult. All of them either had full blown narcs traits or at least being very selfish. A friend of mine says they are all like that and I should skip any guy working in Finance or Law and dont waste time with them. I will remove lots of people from my pool by doing so, but my experience so far confirms her words.. Would you agree that most men working in Finance / Law in city of London are narcissists and not really suitable for a relationship?

😂 I mean, I can tell you my husband is definitely not like that but I don't think you'll believe me, so whatever you say

I am not a golddigger. I am on a very good salary in London, own my flat (with mortgage though), go on multiple holidays per year to expensive destinations... Just wanna meet someone who can keep up :) I went on dates with guys but some of them have no drive, no ambition, no curiosity about the world, no willingness to explore. They will not be a good match for me regardless of their occupation.

Small correction "to which I have accustomed". But you are right, they probably would not be able to keep up and I dont want to deal with hurt male ago

What drives? I would have thought some are dragged in by money, some by ambition, some may truly love what they are doing. But i definitely see where you are coming from here

I think you need to stop engaging with people who are here to attack. There’s nothing to be gained from it.

There’s clearly something about your posts that’s making a certain element lose their minds. Ignore them.

For what it’s worth, I’m very happily married to someone who works in Finance. We met via an app. I didn’t exclusively date people who worked in the City, but they did all tend to be driven people in high earning professions - as that’s what I am. And, no, I don’t think there’s a higher incidence of narcissism than in any other area.

I’m very surprised that location is proving such a stumbling block for you, though. In my experience (which is admittedly several years out of date), people were happy dating anywhere within zones 1-2.

The ‘keeping up’ thing would only make sense if you had any intention of continuing to work and wanted someone who matched your ambition. By ‘keep up’ you appear to mean ‘keep me’.

Thanks.
Have you dated before Covid? Sounds like you are, if you are married by now. It wasn't an issue at all before COVID hit, that's what all my friends say who were on apps at that time. Now it is very big issue, many people notice that. Lots of people became very lazy and don't want to travel. I am unsure if it is because working from home had it impact or it is just lots of new people got drawn to OLD and it changed dynamics. If you do search, you would see that many people report difference between now and then.

😴

That makes sense. It’s a shame as OLD was tricky enough without those sorts of limitations.

Good luck!

Why do prospective partners need to have the same education level as you? Why can't a prospective partner have a lower level of education, for example?

Even then, you haven't actually answered my question. A person with a similar education level to you could be from just about any field. So again, why are you specifically targetting men in law and finance fields? It cannot just be down to chance or probability because the overwhelming majority of men do not work in law or finance.

@PoliteEagle Lots of people became very lazy and don't want to travel.

Or, you know, most people don't have bottomless piles of cash and can't afford to go anywhere, most of the time? I haven't had a holiday abroad for years. Too expensive.

Can I also ask you how your question is relevant here? If you can share your experience with people in these occupations if you had any as I asked in my opening message please do, if you don't, I don't see how your post adds value.

Again how it is relevant here? we have separate threads where everyone complains about cost of living. This is wrong thread for this though I commiserate

You came on here asking for opinions. Are you confused?

In your original post, you asked if men who work in finance or law are narcissistic. I noted that it would be extremely strange behaviour to narrow your dating pool to those two professions to begin with, so I asked the question to gain more insight. That's because there's likely to be a link between your unusual dating behaviour and the fact that you consistently approach a specific type of man who works in a specific job.

Exactly. Opinions on whether most of men working in Finance or Law happen to be narcissists. What is your opinion on that?

I can't speak for London but I briefly was a kind of a fly on the wall in an finance environment on Wall St in the 1990s and the men were generally pretty odious. Not to me, I wasn't even on their radar because I wasn't hot or in their field, but I overheard the conversations. Women were just another trophy to brag about like their cars, spooedboats and apartments. Maybe that's more of an American finance bro vibe than you'd get here but it gave me a life long aversion to anyone vaguely of that type. Or maybe all men speak like that when women aren't around? (Which is a horrible thought). I would be sceptical enough about those saying their husbands work in that world and are wonderful, well they would say that......

As I said before, there is likely to be a link between the type of men you approach (and the fact they are exclusively from two professions, law and finance) and the fact you keep encountering narcissists.

There is more to your story that you are not telling us.

I don't think it is American specific. Surely times have changed since 1990s but some tendencies are still there I would think.
I am not sure about all men, but sometimes I could overhear conversations either in a gym or even among my male colleagues (though my field has better vibe and culture than finance) and it doesn't sound good. Like a (networking) event they went other night was good but all girls were ugly etc. Not really trophy talk as you say but still...

Ok clearly you had no interaction with people within those industries so nothing to share which is fine. Thanks for taking your time reading
PS I don't approach men. I reply to their likes.

@PoliteEagle PS I don't approach men. I reply to their likes.

That's your issue. Duh.

Men who approach women are more likely to have traits such as being pushy, aggression, selfishness, dominance, etc. All of those characteristics go hand in hand with narcissicism.

Seriously? sending a like or a message on an app to a woman is being aggressive in your view?

I didn't say that. I said that men who do that are more likely to have those traits. This shouldn't come as a surprise- think of the types of characteristics and traits that someone would need to have to act like that on a dating app.

this is unusual take. in your opinion the same would apply to women sending out likes first?