Most men working in Finance or Law in city of London are narcissists?

[PoliteEagle]

I am dating with an intent to find a serious relationship. I live in Kensington in West London and most of my local dates are finance or law guys. While they are very successful, their personalities are let's say ... difficult. All of them either had full blown narcs traits or at least being very selfish. A friend of mine says they are all like that and I should skip any guy working in Finance or Law and dont waste time with them. I will remove lots of people from my pool by doing so, but my experience so far confirms her words.. Would you agree that most men working in Finance / Law in city of London are narcissists and not really suitable for a relationship?

Yet many posters say they work/married/know many men in finance/law and similar industries (( where guys are quite confident or as you say alpha (and I guess they need to be to excel in that environment) ) who are very nice men and not narcissists.

there is a study on that, I got curious and googled. Actually some of them and one was even CEO. But most seem to be coming from law enforcement. This is massive off topic though here. The main point is that how person behaves in a workplace is no representation of how he behaves at home

you can open separate thread on it if you want to discuss Eastern European men and cultural aspects of dating. Thanks

That's true, but:

• Many of them met these men at university when the compatibility in terms of shared values was more obvious and the wealth disparity wasn't there
• I'm talking specifically about the wanting to be approached by men aspect/being attracted to men who have a traditional idea of gender roles in a relationship

These two characteristics together (working in banking/finance AND having traditional gender role opinions) unfortunately often result in other character traits that aren't desirable. The banker partners mentioned in this thread will most likely match the first criteria but not the second.

Anyway, best of luck with your search but I think expanding horizons, both geographic and job title related, will do you a favour.

Really very likely yes OP

Exactly this.

Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one's own needs, often at the expense of others
Selfish meaning (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure:
Does it help? I don't need to mean anything those are commonly accepted definition

So you mean to say that guys, who approach women on social setting lack kindness and empathy? Interesting take

You are righting off the whole of London apart from Kensington?! Wow.

It's Saturday night- go out to a bar, the theatre, a pub...talk to people. The Uber rich bankers will all have gone elsewhere for the weekend so there maybe some more normal men around.

I am with covid or some other bug at home... so no fun for me tonight expect of your society :)

Like anything else some are and some are not. I’m close friends with a few law firm partners. One definitely has a personality disorder - very polite, quiet and charming. And then as soon as he steps away from the people he’s putting on a front for it all comes out and it’s shocking and unpleasant. He is v selfish. Two of his friends are similar - one an investment banker, another an architect. However all of the rest of them I know in these roles (and all but two are male) are lovely, thoughtful and caring. However they are all v hard working which is not conducive to a healthy relationship- like they all work 12-14 hour days through the week, some weekends, and also when they’re away on holiday. The pressure is immense.

My recent ex was a borderline through diagnosis. People with personality disorders don't gravitate towards a certain job. He worked in construction and being involved with someone with a personality disorder is messy and traumatising and not just a massive ego and jerk attitude.
So it's unlikely they are all narcissists.

Those are not the examples. I am talking about silent treatments, stonewalling, gaslighting, punishments, lack of empathy. Honestly you sound like a lucky woman who has never dealt with narcissists or people with traits. I hope you never will.

AI or click bait thread methinks

In such case I have been lucky indeed.

I have met different types and married to one in finance who is very down to earth. However, the awful ones I have met are unbearable. Narcissistic, misogynistic and ruthless socially. I happened to know them for over a decade and all are loaded but horrible. I would not like to be the wife of any of them.

I agree with this
My Ex of 7yrs was a Narcissist he was very high up in Finance ( investment banking ) he was also very sexist he hides it well not sure his firm would approve if they knew the truth about him but he is very clever at covering his tracks ! We were from different backgrounds but they did not seem to bother him. He was very very controlling and micromanaged everything he was a nightmare! Didn't live in the real world either ! i found a-lot of his colleagues to be the same quite selfish and wanted to do what they wanted to do like leave wife's with young children while they went away on jolly up mainly ski trips golf or wine weekends
I left in the end i found out he was cheating on me on dating sites he has a new girlfriend now he will do same to her!

I work in the City and love it.

Not too bothered about a relationship as it will always be second to my job.

All this "narc" talk is non sensical. Maybe you aren't really suited - why assume the other person has some deficiency?

End of the day we all have standards - I don't want someone who doesn't measure up which means I won't date someone in similar circles.