Most men working in Finance or Law in city of London are narcissists?

[PoliteEagle]

I am dating with an intent to find a serious relationship. I live in Kensington in West London and most of my local dates are finance or law guys. While they are very successful, their personalities are let's say ... difficult. All of them either had full blown narcs traits or at least being very selfish. A friend of mine says they are all like that and I should skip any guy working in Finance or Law and dont waste time with them. I will remove lots of people from my pool by doing so, but my experience so far confirms her words.. Would you agree that most men working in Finance / Law in city of London are narcissists and not really suitable for a relationship?

I’ve been with my husband for 17 years now so I am long out of the dating game, but it sounds like you’re using dating apps. Sorry if this seems too old school, but are they any events to meet people in real life and do you go to them? There’s a matchmaking agency called Bond the agency based in Chelsea and a thing called Thursday dating that one of my male friends goes to- should say he’s still single but maybe meeting people in real life might be another avenue to try?

OP- are you American?

What do you do for a living ?

in my experience, any successful lawyer in a top law firm will have some personality defect. It goes with the territory

cool

I go to a gym (I met a guy there who is again is in finance). I am hesitant to meet people at work. I actually going to one of the Thursday event soon so will see how it goes. I also attend conferences, but a lot of non local (I mean people from abroad) are there. I also go to some meetups (mainly for board games), but no luck so far, though I saw some guys looking at me with an interest, I am rubbish at the initiating though :)
Thank you for your suggestions, matchmaking agencies I havent tried, i would have thought it is a bit too much?

Like attracts like, so maybe there's your answer

I am in consulting

Tell it all those women who are posting about abuse from their men. It is certainly because they are themselves abusers else they wouldnt be attracted to their abusive husbands and boyfriends. Is it the answer you gonna give them?
And actually narcs are trying to attract empaths, this is their supply

To be honest you overstate your case.

No, I am from Europe.

okay

I wonder if men being interested only in "location based dating" suggests they're mainly after a hook up? Maybe you could try actively seeking out men who are willing to travel a bit further and see if you have more luck?

Yes I understand not wanting to date at work.
Re matchmaking, well it could be considered too much but at least if you know that if a man has approached an agency they’re seriously looking. They’ll look at your profile and see if they’ve got someone suitable, might be something to consider if no luck elsewhere!
Keep going to your meet ups, when you’re there can you set your app to show people near you? You might find someone from the group there.

I do wonder how many people meet organically these days, just seems quite difficult!

I would guess Russian/Slavic judging by the syntax of the posts. If so this may be influencing OPs attitude regarding expecting men to chase her

Yes,you are probably right, hookups or casual.
Thats exactly what I am going to do. Actively seek out guys in different areas and see what happens

Eastern European by origin, you are right, but I grew up in Western Europe. Though yes, being born in that culture influence me wanting to be approached. I am not sure as for being chased but I am more comfortable when a guy initiates. So i guess I naturally attract more go getter and proactive personalities and those men seem to be mainly working in jobs like law rather than tech. I am not as assertive in dating as most of the British born ladies.

I am on Hinge, it is not tracking your location in the real time unlike Tinder. My friend told me I need to smile more :) So i will try that, maybe be it make guys more inclined to approach if they are interested. But yes nowadays most of the dates coming from OLD. I asked some friends if they have someone in mind to set me up, so will see if they come up with anything.

Are you sure you're not getting your information from films? 😅 Because I work in one of those firms and have been working in the City for 15+ years and most of my male colleagues have been lovely 🤷‍♀️

Thanks everyone (well almost everyone) for your advice and help. I will increase the radius on the app maybe to 10 miles to see if I get likes outside of my area. Would not start dismissing finance/law guys as well, as seems there are good apples there as well and it is not all doom and gloom

Understandable. I think the saying 'there is no free lunch' applies here - if you are essentially filtering men on their earning potential (which your previous thread suggests) and also limiting yourself to men who are 'alpha' enough to fit the ideal of what a muzhik should be, the chances are these men are going to also be dominant in other aspects of their personality, ie not caring that much about you think or how you feel. Hence the 'narcissists'

I am sure. Do you know that colleagues of many criminals including serial killers were shocked when truth came true as their colleagues were lovely. People in workplace can behave very different outside of their workplace. Many narcissists can trick even psychologists if they want. It is not that simple. Unfortunately

Have many serial killers worked in law and finance?

I think if your desperate you date anyone so being desperate probably means you end up with not the nicest people aside from their career, job background